Thursday, 28 October 2010

Discount on my book!


How's it goin? 

Good news! 

My Book is now CHEAPER!

But only for the next three days!

As a special Halloween promotion, Fifty Envelopes now has a 20% discount code!

This code will expire on November 1st! So hurry up!

Christmas is coming!
Why not buy one for everyone you know for christmas?
Why not buy in bulk so you get an even bigger saving!

Maybe you just haven't got around to buying a copy yet. 
Well the time is now!
20% off for the next three days!

The discount code is GHOST
Simply go to the website and input that code when instructed.
Spooky eh?
Well it is halloween and all that.
So buy now!
To read more about my book and instructions on where to buy it

If you would like to check out some reviews and see what other people have said then CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then you will get an even bigger discount on my next book.

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Highlights from the weekend.

How's it goin? 
How was your weekend?
No seriously, tell me, I am interested!
Unless it was dull, in which case I don't wanna know.

It was another drunken weekend in the life of Andy G.

On Friday I headed out with Rushton and Dave.
We started at the new Brew Dog pub in Aberdeen.

Brew dog is a local brewery, they recently renovated an old bar in Aberdeen and turned it into Brew Dog Pub, selling the beers they brew up in Fraserburgh. In fact they only sell beer and wine. It’s really good. It is rapidly becoming my new favourite pub. 

Myself and a couple of mates are strongly considering heading along one afternoon and working our way through the entire beer menu. (About 20 beers, one of which is 40%. That's not counting the 30 odd guest beers from all over the world, but that's a challenge for another day.)

Anyway, we decided to start our night out here as it was new and Dave had not been in yet. Dave being the legendary drunkard that he is, could not let a new pub open in Aberdeen and not visit within a couple of days.

At one point I over heard this converstion between a semi hot girl and the barman:

Semi Hot Girl
Can I have a vodka Red Bull please?

I’d love to, but there's a couple of small problems with that.

Semi Hot Girl

We don’t serve vodka and we don’t serve Red Bull.

The girl had a look of confusion on her face. Obviously she did not quite grasp the concept of the pub.

Semi Hot Girl
So what do you sell?

We have BrewDog beers, some guest beers and wine

Semi Hot Girl
What kind of wine?

Red, White or Pink.

Like I said, it’s rapidly becoming my new favourite pub! If you're in Aberdeen you should definitely check it out! The beers on draft change everyday which is a nice touch, and they have all the Brew Dog Beers on bottle, as well as some really tasty guest beers from America.

As you can probably tell I am hoping for some corporate sponsorship from Brew Dog, or at least a free pint!

The night continued to another pub or two, then into a club. The night ended up with Rushton going home early cos he's a wimp, and me and Dave downing Jaeger Bombs!


On Saturday it was a night out with Mark,  Aders Norman and Kim. Mark was also out with a couple of his workmates, he introduced me to them by saying,

"This is my mate Andy, he used to go to uni in Middlesbrough."

I thought this was a very odd way of introducing anyone. Yes I did go to uni in Middlesborough, but only for one year, and I didn't do much, and it was nearly 10 years ago.

I then discovered that two of the people I was being introduced to were actually from Middlesbrough. I politely shook everyones hand, said hello, and intensely guarded my wallet for the rest of the night.

We were going to see a couple of bands at The Tunnels in Aberdeen. This night featured the return of one of my favourite ever people, Drunk  Aders  Norman.

We knew a couple of the bands playing. The Deportees, Marks cousins band, were really good. Obviously I am slightly biased as I know him, but they were really good. Check them out on Myspace.

Another band playing were Le Reno Amps featuring Al Nero, a legend of a guy who we went to school with. As well as Al we bumped into a few old school mates and it was great to catch up. At one point  Aders  Norman was talking to Craig (an old school mate) and his girlfriend. None of us had seen or heard from Craig since we left school ten years ago. It was great to see him, altho I was a bit drunk. All I remember him saying was that he is now an accountant.
The banter was slow, and  Aders  Norman was struggling for something to say, this is the conversation which took place.

 Aders  Norman
So we were just in the bar next door cos someone said the 
Barmaid had the biggest boobs ever, did you see her? 

Erm, no.

Craig and his girlfriend just shrugged clearly not knowing what to say.

There was a silence, a silent silence, the silentest silence since the time I used the Polar Bear line on some hot girls while very drunk in a kebab shop.

 Aders  Norman felt compelled to fill this silence, he had to say something, and this wasn't regular  Aders  Norman, 
this was Drunk  Aders  Norman, and Drunk  Aders  Norman 
knows exactly what to say! 
Drunk  Aders  Norman then looked directly at Craig's girlfriend, he stared at her long and hard, a girl he had known for all of 2 minutes.  And then he said the only logical thing that Drunk  Aders  Norman could say

 Aders  Norman
Never mind eh? Boobs aren’t the be all and end all!

Craigs girlfriend did not reply to this comment, clearly she felt insulted.
Drunk  Aders  Norman then sat back down and told me this story. I of course told him I was going to post it on the blog, he then asked me if I would change his name. So for the purposes of this story I called him Drunk  Aders  Norman. Don't worry mate, no one will ever learn your secret identity.


Sunday I was hungover. 
Althea bought a new toilet seat.

Personally it scares the crap outta me. (No pun intended.) I keep imagining something out of Little Shop Of Horrors. Have you seen Little Shop of Horrors? If not, why not? it's brilliant!

Also, on Sunday a game of hide and seek got out of hand when Ivano hid under the floor boards.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on Facebook and CLICK HERE.

That's All For Now 

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then one day I will take you on one of my drunken adventures. 

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

Grappa versus Otto The Octopus Part 2: The Return!


How's it goin?

Last week my brand new web series debuted,

At time of writing, it has been viewed a whopping 17 times!
I am sure the movie studio's will be in touch soon with regards to making a feature length movie!
In the meantime here's the next thrilling instalment of Grappa Versus Otto The Octopus!

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on Facebook and CLICK HERE.

Be sure to come back next week for the final chapter in this trilogy of Octopus slaying films,

The Demise Of Otto The Octopus!


Otto sacrifices his life for the good of his children, it's a tear jerker so make sure you have tissues at the ready!

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then maybe one day you will be offered a starring role in the fantastic web series Grappa The Crazy Killer Demon Dog From Hell

Monday, 25 October 2010

25 Random Pics from The QE2


How's it goin? 

Many moons ago I used to work on The QE2, it was a great time in my life, I spent most of it drunk. 

I have included two videos in this post, if you can't see them it's because your reading this crap on facebook, Why are you doing that? That's crazy! Just CLICK HERE to get to the proper blog page.

A couple of weeks ago I posted 25 random pics from my time in Edinburgh. Well here is something very similar, 25 Random Pics from my time on The QE2.

Adam & Jonny Torpedo went out for a few essentials while we were docked in France.

Some birds

Some girls in Bikini's

Bela prepares for boat drill

Andrea's boobs

It was slim pickins in the crew bar this night. Adam & Bob turned to each other

All three of those shirts belong to me. I still have them.

Our 4 piece ukulele band

One night we just felt like wearing poncho's.

This is just before we jumped off the Sky Tower in Auckland, New Zealand.

This is me screaming as I am dangled off the Sky Tower in Auckland, New Zealand
The guy who took this picture told me to wave my arms, I just continued to scream.

Myself and Aussie Jo, drunk in Barbados.

The ship held a formal party for the crew, most of the male crew wore tuxedo's. We went like this.

The Drinking Team: We Dress to Impress.

Superhero night in the crew bar. Kenny went as Gaydar Man.

A pic from the Cheese & Wine party that Bob and I hosted in our cabin.

Drunk in a nightclub in Quebec. This photo was taken just mere moments before the incident that led to me being banned from Quebec.
One man wearing another man's t-shirt.

It was Adam's birthday on a formal party night for the crew. We all hired tux's and I got Adam a Birthday cake.

Adam got very drunk that night, and he forgot he left the birthday cake on his bed, this was the result.
Yes, that is a very hung over man, trying to clean squashed birthday cake off of a hired tuxedo jacket with a hoover.

One night we just fancied going to the pub in a toga

Stewart decided to soak Phil. Not sure why.

This is what Lefty & Jonny Torpedo wore to the Playboy party.

This is what Steve wore to the Playboy Party.

Claire with my boxer shorts. F.Y.I. That's the same pair I was wearing when I wrote this blog post. 

That's All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe the next time I post 25 Random Pics, maybe they will feature you.


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