The Blog of Andy G

Im Moving

2011-08-04T12:01:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

I'm moving. Or at least the blog is. So this will be the final post on The Blog Of Andy G.

The new blog will be located at

www.TheNewAdventuresOfAndyG.com

The first post of the new blog will be up on Monday, at the crack of noon.

Check it out if you like, or don't. Doesn't bother me.

That's All ~~For Now~~ Forever

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

It would be pretty stupid to subscribe to this blog, just subscribe to the new one. You mong!

Lack Of Blogging

2011-07-26T17:59:00.002+01:00

How's it goin?

Sorry for the lack of blog posts recently.

I've been pretty busy.

I finished school.

I had a wee holiday.

I got a new job.

It really has been non stop lately. I will get back to it soon. I have some semi interesting stories to tell you about my recent adventures. I'm sure you will find some way to fill the rather large hole in your life that my blog once filled.

I will get back to it very soon.

I promise.

In the mean time here's a video of my mates Mark and Jonny singing like a couple of twats.

It's been posted before on the blog before, but I just re-watched it the other day, and felt the need to share.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then nothing exciting will happen, but you will receive an overwhelming sense of achievement which was probably missing form your life all this time.

My Classmates Films: Waiting In Montana

2011-07-18T12:01:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

When we started second year of our course, one of the class's we all enjoyed the most was Multi Cam. I've posted several of my classmates multi cam films on the blog. One of the assignments that every student has to do is a music video for the song "Waiting in Montana." It's a song that we all grew to hate very quickly. All of us except for Scott Kilmonster! Scott loved the song so much, he did the multi cam version, then he turned it into a fully fledged short film.

It's a thing of real beauty. It star's Stephen Horne returning as everynes favourite cowboy "Wild Willie Whipass" and Cat Napier as The Waitress.

Sadly Cat forgot her costume on the day, so she just wore her own stuff.

If you can't see the video above then you're a mentalist. Stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then I will lock you in a room and make you listen to this song on repeat for 24 hours straight. you'll never be the same again.

My Final Essay

2011-07-11T12:01:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

So school is over, eventually I'll do a more detailed post reflecting upon my past two years returning to education. But in the meantime I thought you might like to see a few select paragraphs from my final essay. It's the evaluation essay where you evaluate your skills as a director, and how you felt you achieved the goals you were set at the beginning of the year. I got an A for all my school work, including this essay. Even though I occasionally went slightly off topic. After giving myself a very honest evaluation, (I am my own worst critic, I tore everything I did to shreds.) I also decided to evaluate the course itself, as well as a couple of my class mates.

Here are a few of the highlights from my final essay:

 
When it came to an assessment that the whole class had to do, I believe I am one of only THREE people to actually make the film. I am referring to “Induction Day.” This  was a camera class assessment which a script was already written, the assignment was to make a 3 minute video promoting the college. The script was already written but you could interpret it in anyway you wished. Giving the class a real chance to do something unique and creative. I was very happy with this assignment and curious to see how my classmates would interpret the script. 

I chose to do "Robins Induction Day.” Using the characters from Batman & Robin. I adapted the script slightly, but made sure to keep all the relevant information in it. I spent a great deal of time and effort on this short film and was looking forward to seeing what my classmates had come up with. After I had finished my film, I was incredibly disappointed and slightly angry to learn that apparently you didn’t actually have to MAKE the film. All that was needed was the filmed shots on a disc for assessment. I think this is ridiculous! What is the point in being in this course if you are not going to actually MAKE SOMETHING! 

I was very disappointed in the majority of students on this course who did not make the most of this opportunity to try and turn something slightly dull, into something interesting and entertaining. However given the attitude of some of the students on this course, I am hardly surprised.  

I am led to believe that the three minute wonder and pet hate projects that both classes were tasked with, don’t actually matter. I understand that some students have simply not made them.

And I find this a disgrace! 

Why are these people allowed to be in the course? They did not do the work, they do not deserve to be here! In my role as a director if a crew member was not performing to an acceptable level then they would no longer be on my crew. It is for this reason that I refuse to work with one of my classmates. (It is also down to the fact that this particular person, is a MORON!) I believe the same rules should be applied to this course. If people do not meet deadlines then they should fail. 

Simple as. 

Obviously there are exceptions to this rule, sometimes people do have genuine reasons for not being able to hand in work, but I highly doubt that is the case with several people who have been on this course.

The production crew we were assigned at the beginning of the second year quickly became useless. I was put in a team with Scott, Robert, and Ian. Scott and I got on very well and were always willing to help each other out where necessary. Robert was frequently absent from class and sadly Ian refused to work with Scott. After I was unable to help Ian out on a couple of dates, he then did not want to work with me and ignored my offers of assistance. 

My crew quickly became, myself, Scott and anyone else who was available, in particular Stephen and Struan. The three of them have been invaluable to me this year, without their help my final projects would have looked very, very different. 

Overall I feel I have a project that I can be proud of, it’s not the film I originally wanted to make, but it is a film, and it’s a film that most people seem to enjoy so far.

I have watched every scene approximately 300 times so I hate it. I can see every continuity error, every scene that was meant to lead to something which ultimately got deleted.  

Sadly I spent too much time on my other projects this year, I was unaware that the other projects were not being assessed, had I known this then I would have started work on this film the very day we returned as opposed to much later in the academic year. Several students on this course have not put in the effort that I have this year, with a couple of them only having made ONE film this year. In some cases I'm sure it will be a good film, but it hardly seems fair that I have made FIVE films this year, and they have only made one, and we will walk away with the same qualification. If I was a director on a television or film set, and a crew member was not doing the same amount of work as everyone else, and not meeting deadlines, then that crew member would no longer be on my crew. Sadly the same cannot be said for a large amount of students at THE FURTHER EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTE I ATTENDED.

So as this essay, and the course draws to a close, I am overall happy with the projects I have been a part of. I am grateful to THE FURTHER EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTE I ATTENDED to have let me play with camera's for a couple of years. And I am also very grateful for several of my classmates who have made some fantastic films and I am very proud that I have helped in some small way in some of them.  Every project I have helped with has been vastly superior to mine, but as I said, I am my own worst critic. 

I only wish I knew at the beginning of the year what I knew now, and my final project I believe would have been of a much higher caliber. But you live and learn.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you might be wasting your time as I'm thinking of having a radical revamp of the blog, so we might be moving. Maybe. But if you d subscribe then you'll be the first to know. Isn't that exciting?

No?

Then fuck you!

My Classmates Films: PHUGS!

2011-07-08T12:01:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

Several weeks ago I wrote a post called Behind The Scenes On PHUGS! Where you got to see a couple of behind the scenes videos and some pics taken during filming on Stephen Hornes film, PHUGS! Well here is the actual film. It's brilliant. It's yet another fantastic film from Stephen.

It star's Stephen as the man who never gets a real hug, and Scott Ironside as his friend who Phugs him. What is a PHUG I hear you ask? Well watch the film and find out you mong.

You'll love it, and if you don't love it, you have no soul.

If you can't see the video above then you are really missing out, stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe I will give you a PHUG!*

*In this context PHUG means punch in the face!

Stevo Has NOT Bought My Book!

2011-07-07T18:54:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

The title of this post is pretty self explanatory. But in case you're a total mong, please see the lovely little comic strip below.

My friend Stevo has not bought my book.

This is completely UNACCEPTABLE!

HOW DARE YOU STEVO!!

Dear reader, I was as shocked as you when I heard the news. How dare this man, a friend no less, a good friend, how dare he NOT buy my book!

This is a disgrace. My book is only £5! Plus I'm super skinto.

So dear reader, it is up to you. You must convince him of the awesome work of literary genius that my book is.

If you know Stevo, then I strongly advise you to hurl some abuse at him the next time you see him.

If you don't know Stevo, CLICK HERE for a link to his facebook page, where you can learn a little bit about him and leave a comment on his wall if you like.

If you happened to see him in the street, then please feel free to approach him and shout profanities at him until he relents and purchases, the book recently described as,

"Poorly written, but hilarious."

How can you argue with that?

You can also read some of the fantastic reviews HERE, and there are some more HERE.

It's only a fiver, plus it's now also available as a download, sadly not on the i-bookstore yet, but maybe one day.

You should also be aware that anyone who has purchased Fifty Envelopes, and written a nice review about it, will automatically receive a discount on my next book, The Wedding Blogger. Which will hopefully be out soon.

So to conclude this post, Stevo I must say that I am ashamed of you! And to think, we once played Cloverfield together.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

Please be aware that if you offer to lend my book to anyone in an attempt to stop them from buying it, and hence losing me a sale, you're a cunt. Simple as. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

The Adventures of BeerMan

2011-06-29T13:39:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

From October 2008 to August 2009 I lived in Edinburgh with my friends Adam, Jonny Torpedo and Richard P.

During that time we had many drunken adventures.

Regular readers will know I recently found a lot of old video clips on my hard drive. This post is another post about one such video.

It was a another fun filled day in Edinburgh, I had the day off, as did Adam and Jonny had just finished work. Surely this was destiny telling us to go to the pub. But Adam was in a bad mood. We don't know why. Probably because he thought someone was using his ensuite toilet. None of us ever did use his toilet but he became very paranoid that we were all the time. He refused to come to the pub with us, and stormed off into his room in a huff.

I was not happy with this. It was a sunny day outside and three of us were off, surely this is a sign to go to the pub?

So I enlisted the help of a local superhero to convince Adam to come out and play.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

Sorry the footage is a bit crap, you can blame Jonny Torpedo, he filmed it.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

if you do subscribe then one day I will introduce you to BEERMAN!!

Adventures in Glasgow

2011-06-28T12:01:00.010+01:00

How's it goin?

Several weeks ago, myself and my classmates went to Glasgow for a film festival. It was a two day event, so rather than get the bus back and forth, we decided to stay the night and hit the town. The festival itself was really good, loads of good films and workshops were attended by us all. We also went to a really good lecture by Gary Tank Commander. Was tres entertaining. (That's french for "very entertaining.")

The night was our own, so we did what every sensible person does when in a strange town.

We went to the pub.

In one such pub, I attempted to perform a magic trick on Struan. It involves hypnotising him and attempting to make him see a triangle in a pint of lager. It's the same trick I did on Adam once before on a drunken night out. He fell for it too.

Struan did not see the triangle, but he was looking in the wrong place.

Watch this video to see where the triangle really was.

If you can't see the video above then stop watching this crap on Facebook and CLICK HERE

We shortly moved on to another pub, then another, then another. At one point in the evening our conversation was steered in the direction of Sean Connery. More specifically The Sean Connery Whiskey Advert for Japanese whiskey.

Isn't it amazing how simply drinking a glass of japanese whiskey can give the magical ability to tie a bow tie?

Scott then did his famous Sean Connery impression for his version of the advert.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

If that doesn't sell Japanese whiskey then I don't know what will.

That's all for now

Until next time

Have a nice

Andy G

Enter usual crap about subscription to the blog here!

Small print crappy line

My Classmates Films: Harrassment

2011-06-27T12:01:00.001+01:00

How's it goin?

Several weeks ago I posted Behind The Scenes on Struans Pet Hate. I'm sure you remember it, it was the one that featured this truly fantastic video clip.

Well here is the finished product. Another fantastic film from Struan Robertson.

It also has a cameo by me!

If you can't see the video's above then stop reading this crap on Facebook and CLICK HERE

Little bit of behind the scenes trivia for ya, I play one of the tramps, and you may notice I am carrying a yellow carrier bag. Well that yellow carrier bag contained the Robin costume for Robins Induction day, which starred Struan as Robin. That's a nice little factoid for ya.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then I will come round to your house dressed as Batman and dance for you.

The Tale Of The Strange Tasting Porridge

2011-06-26T12:01:00.004+01:00

How's it goin?

It was Fathers Day last Sunday. That's when this post was actually meant to have been posted, but I forgot about it. So to celebrate Fathers Day, here's a story about my Dad.

This tale takes place many, many years ago. When I was just a boy. We were on a family holiday, to Florida. Florida in America. That's a big deal when you're a kid. It's AMERICA. As a child for some reason you automatically assume that everything American is ace.

Sadly having lived there for 6 months I can assure you that this is not the case. But this is now and that was then. Then I was in awe of everything american. It was on this holiday that I got my beloved Cowboy hat.

It was our first day on holiday. We were in America and we were damn well gonna do lots of American things. First and foremost was breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day after all. Since it was our first day, and we were all still knackered from traveling, we decided to have breakfast in the hotel restaurant. In retrospect it wasn't that good, but as an 11 year old kid it was amazing. It was humongous, a massive breakfast buffet. I had never seen anything like it before, I stood in awe of this truly epic breakfast. They had Pancakes! Pancakes for breakfast. My 11 year old self thought this was mental and proceeded to eat more pancakes than is medically advisable. My sister also ate a mammoth size breakfast, sadly this is a trend that would continue throughout her life, hence her size now.

My Parents were reasonably sensible, and did not stuff their faces with pancakes and maple syrup like their greedy children. My Mum had cereal followed by the usual cooked breakfast, and my Dad started off with some porridge. Some very strange tasting porridge. Being tired and in a new country he assumed that his taste buds were out of allignment, or perhaps this was some kind of strange American porridge, we were in America after all, and everything is better (or at least different) in America.

My Dad is not one to waste food, so he continued eating, but he attempted to sweeten it with sugar, but it still didn't taste quite right. He then added in some strawberry Jam, surely this would make the porridge more palatable. But alas it did not. My Dad continued to claim that the porridge tasted "Strange."

He ate it all anyway, like I said we don't waste food in our family.

The waitress appeared a short time later to clear our plates, and Dad made a comment about the porridge. The waitress looked confused, then he did his best American accent and said "The Oatmeal." This is something he does a lot when talking people of different nationalities. especially Americans. I realise that is a difficult thing to convey in a written blog rather than me telling you the story in person, but trust me he does it all the time.

The waitress then realised what he was talking about. Her confusion didn't stem from the fact he called oatmeal porridge, or from his attempt to explain the situation in an obviously fake american accent. Her confusion came from the fact that there was no porridge/oatmeal available on the buffet.

Her face struggled to hide her smirk, which turned into a chuckle. All the while myself and my family sat there confused as to her amusement. Well my Mum and Dad sat there confused, my sister and I were busy on our 13th helping of pancakes and maple syrup.

The waitress then told us why she was laughing.

"You're the first person to ever put strawberry jam in Sausage Gravy!"

Yes, sausage gravy.

He had been sitting at the table with a lovely steaming bowl of sausage gravy which he sweetened with Jam.

In his defence, it did really look like porridge.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you will receive a complimentary helping of Sausage Gravy

The Hotel Promo

2011-06-25T12:01:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

So you've seen The Official Making Of, and The Uncut Making Of, now it's time for the actual promo video itself. I hope you like it, and I hope you go and visit the hotel sometime. It's very nice.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

A massive thank you to Scott, Struan, Ian and Bob for all the help in making this video. without all of your help it simply wouldn't have happened. You guys rule!

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then I shall beat you to death with a frozen haddock. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

The Uncut Making Of The Hotel Promo

2011-06-24T12:01:00.017+01:00

How's it goin?

Yesterday you got to see the very well put together video that Scott made. Today here's all the video footage I shot, just uploaded onto you tube. Uncut and unrated!! There are ten short video's which tell the tale of making the promo from the perspective of a drunk and then hungover Andy G.

Hope you like.

If you can't see any of the video's above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then I shall pace a curse upon your family which shall afflcit you for a thousand generations!

The Official Making Of The Hotel Promo

2011-06-23T14:39:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

Several months ago myself, Ian, Struan and Scott all headed to a hotel on the west coast to make a promo video. We had a cracking couple of days away which I have written about before. While we were away both myself and Scott made several videos. Here is the official Behind The Scenes video, expertly put together by Scott. It's very, very good, and will hopefully give you a good idea of the kind of high jinks we got up to during the weekend.

Hope you like.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

Tomorrow I shall be posting all the video's I made, unlike Scott, I am very lazy and I didn't edit mine together. I just stuck them all on you tube.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

P.S.

I am aware that the blog has been very video heavy lately. This is because I have recently finished school and have a lot of videos to share. I also just found a lot of old video clips on my hard drive which I had forgotten all about. All of which shall be posted online soon. Including a couple of videos from Marks Stag Do which I know you will love, although Mark might not.

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then I will one day write the most amazing blog post all about you! If you like.

Behind The Scenes on D.C.A.

2011-06-22T12:01:00.003+01:00

How's it goin?

So as the academic year comes to a close, all of my classmates are busy finishing up the edit on their final projects. Some of my class have got some really top notch films. Here is a behind the scenes look, at one of them. One in which I am one of the stars.

This film is called D.C.A. and is written and directed by the award winning Cat Napier.

Which stands for Diet Cokers Anonymous.

It's a mockumentary about a young girl who is addicted to Diet Coke. I play John Johnson, the documentary maker.

Here's a couple of behind the scenes pics

Here is Cat, playing the character of the Diet Coke addicted Caroline, in this scene she is recovering from an overdose,

This first video features a brief glimpse of a critical scene in the movie, and then Cat does her Blow Job Face.

In this second video KP demonstrates just how annoying she can be

In this third video, all manner of topics are covered, from the potential rape of KP, to Cat missing her penis, and Scott talking about what he'd like to do with some vegetables after he'd used them in a a bizarre sexual act.

While we were shooting at Cat's flat, we spotted a couple of giant dalmation dogs, Cat made me film them. Here is that film.

A critical scene in the film is when Cat's character tries to cure herself of ehr addiction by drinking Pepsi. Here is a sneak peak at that scene.

If you can't see the video above, or any of the other videos, then stop being such a mong! Stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

Cat should be finished editing D.C.A. any day now and as soon as she uploads it to you tube, I'll be sure to post it on here for you all to enjoy her very good film and my wonderful acting. I've seen an almost finsihed version fo the film, and I can confirm it's very, very good!

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then I shall beat you to death with a bottle of Diet Coke.

My Classmates Films: SEE THEM TONIGHT!!

2011-06-20T12:01:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

For this week, if you want to see one of my classmates films then get your ass down to The Belmont Cinema in Aberdeen.

It's The Student Showcase, and there will be some cracking films being show, including two of my films, the infamous Sticks & Stones, and Stephen Hornes Induction Day. It's gonna be epicly epic. Miss it Miss out.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe and come to the showcase, I will buy you a drink.

Book Look: The Show Where We Take A Look At A Book

2011-06-18T12:01:00.001+01:00

How's it goin?

The other day I was roaming the inter webs the other day when I happened upon this. It's a chat show about books. It's called Book Look. And guess what?

In this particular episode, they are talking about MY BOOK!

I also did a brief interview for them, but I was pretty drunk at the time and completely forgot about it until now!

Amazing!

Have a watch of the show, it stars Justin Timberlake and Kylie Minogue! Talking about MY BOOK!! How ace is that??

Enjoy.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

For anyone interested, please remember that MY BOOK is still available for the low low price of only £5.

Yes that's right only £5(Plus Postage and Packaging)

And it's also available as a download for only £3.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe I will introduce you to "Kylie" If you do not subscribe I will lock you in a room with her.

Killer Dogs and Secret Space Rockets

2011-06-17T12:01:00.001+01:00

How's it goin?

You smell terrific, is that a new shampoo you're using?

The other day it was very sunny, and I had nothing to do, so I thought I would do a good deed, and take Grappa The Crazy Killer Demon Dog From Hell for a walk. My plan was to walk into a field, kill her and bury the body, then go and celebrate. On my walk I discovered many wonderful things about the wonderful area where I live. (Northfield)

Here's a video where I discover evidence that Aberdeen has a SPACE PROGRAM!!

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

Other highlights from my walk included:

The Pinkest Building I have ever seen!

And a burnt out old hut!

Northfield really is a classy area, but on the upside we do have our own rocket!!!

For those of you who have been influenced by Grappas insidious mind control powers and actually think that she is a good dog. Don't worry, I didn't kill her. But one day that's a decision that everyone will regret. Mark my words! One day she will kill us all!!

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then I will lock you in a room with Grappa, and believe me you will not be coming out.

My Final Project: Suburbia University

2011-06-16T11:04:00.001+01:00

How's it goin?

Well here it is, my final project for school.

It's called Suburbia University and focus's on three people who inhabit this establishment, Billy, Henry and Andy G.

Here it is, enjoy. Let me know what you think.
Make sure you watch until the end of the credits as you get a little bonus scene.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then maybe one day I will make a much better film and give you a role in it.

Behind The Scenes on Phugs

2011-06-15T12:01:00.005+01:00

How's it goin?

Several weeks ago, on a cold spring morning, myself and a few of my classmates, headed to Duthie Park to help my friend and classmate Stephen Horne film his short film PHUGS.

Phugs stands for Perfunctory Hugs. If you don't know what perfunctory means, don't worry, I didn't either.

–adjective

performed merely as a routine duty; hasty and superficial:perfunctory courtesy.

lacking interest, care, or enthusiasm; indifferent orapathetic:
In his lectures he reveals himself to be merely aperfunctory speaker.

The film stars Stephen as a man who has never been hugged, and when he receives yet another Phug from everyone's favourite teuchter, Scott Ironside, it's just one Phug too many.

Here's a couple of behind the scenes pics:

And here's a couple of quick videos I made on the day.

If you can't see the videos above then stop reading this crap on Facebook and CLICK HERE

During our lunch break, the weather turned a bit crap, as it often does in Aberdeen. We couldn't film in the rain, so to fill up some time, myself and Struan had a wander through The Winter Gardens. Many years ago The Winter Gardens in Aberdeen used to be home to Spike The Talking Cactus. Sadly he has since vanished, but they do have a giant frog. Here's a video of Struans reaction to seeing it. Movie buffs should be suitably impressed at my joke at the end of this video. And if you're not impressed, you're a dick. Simple as.

If you can't see any of the videos above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

An Interview with a Muppet

2011-06-14T14:46:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

As regular readers will know, one of my school assignments was to make a film called Induction Day. We were given a script and told to go off and shoot it. I decided to adapt the script a little bit, and make Robins Induction Day. In that film, there is a series of interviews with students about the educational institute I attend.

For reasons to boring to go into, those interviews were edited down a lot for the final cut. So here, for your viewing pleasure is the full and uncut, Interview With A Muppet.

It stars Struan Robertson as The voice of Morrice The Muppet and Features Scott Ironside as The voice of Elmo and Miss Piggy

Enjoy

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then I will lock you in a room with the two giant chav Dalmatians that are roaming the streets of Aberdeen

My Classmates Films: Strands

2011-06-13T12:01:00.008+01:00

How's it goin?

At long last, after almost a year of nagging, Struan has uploaded his first year film to You Tube. It's called Strands, and it has a very talented actor playing the french chef.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

Struan made this film at the same time I was making my film last year, and as such, I decided that his film would be the unofficial sequel to mine. After having watched the film above, go back and watch my film from last year, and see if you can spot the references.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then one day I will come to your house and cook you a three course meal in the guise of The French Chef.

More Shit (Not literally shit) For Sale

2011-06-10T12:01:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

A wee while ago I sold some stuff on e-bay. Now thanks to my finances being at an all time low, I'm selling some more stuff. There are some great books and DVD's going very cheap. So check it out and buy something from your old pal Andy G.

You know you want to.

CLICK HERE to see my stuff for sale.

In the mean time here's a song all about e-bay.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you shall one day receive a complimentary free gift.

Nearly done

2011-06-08T12:01:00.002+01:00

How's it goin?

I haven't blogged properly in ages. Sorry about that. But for anyone who's gives a shit about little old me, here's an update.

I've been pretty busy, but it looks like all my hard work is nearly over. As far as school is concerned anyway. All my paperwork has been handed in, and all that remains is to finish editing my final project.

My final film is called Suburbia University, and is a series of four short stories set within a fictional university. I'll be honest with you, it's not particularly good. I was let down more than once by actors and equipment booking, so my final project has been some what rushed. The really annoying thing is, this is the one I'll get assessed on, all my other projects essentially don't matter. They don't get assessed. This is something I didn't know at the start of the year, which has pissed me off a great deal. I spent a lot of time and effort on my other projects and as a result of that, I had to rush through my main feature. There are people in my class who have just made ONE film this year, some of which are still actually filming, and they are gonna get the same qualification as me. I have made FOUR films! (Five if you count my island film.) It all seems very unfair to me, but I had a good couple of years at school and for the most part I enjoyed my life as a mature student. With any luck I'll be finished the editing on this film by Friday and assuming all my paperwork is fine, that'll be me done.

My film from last year (as well as several other great student films) is gonna be shown at the Belmont Cinema in Aberdeen, if you're reading this then you're more than welcome to come, CLICK HERE for details. There will be a night out afterwards and I plan on partying for the following three days!

In the mean time, all is well with me, I'm off to London with Laura for a few days at the end of June so I'm looking forward to that. I have a couple of projects to keep me amused over the rest of the summer. I'm still looking for someone to design a book cover for me. Let me know if you're interested.

In other news, I got a job! I had an interview last week and I have accepted the position as head of sales for a local food company. So that's nice. It's not a job in TV which is what I have been studying for the better part of two years, but it's a job. Which is a rare thing these days. It's a regular job, a Monday-Friday 9-5 job, which is something I've never had before. I'm starting off on basic pay so I'll be staying on part time at Vincents and The Club, for a wee while anyway.

So don't worry, I'm sure I'll be keeping you entertained with stories of the the drunkards I encounter on a regular basis.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email.

If you do subscribe then I will weave you a pair of trousers made of solid gold!

My Classmates Films: How To Rule At Pool

2011-06-06T12:01:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

This weeks Classmates film is How To Rule At Pool. Written and Directed by Martyn Symons. The same Martyn that brought you The Power Of the Hood.

Enjoy.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

Wanna come see a movie?

2011-06-03T12:01:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

What are you doing on Monday June 20th 2011 at around 7 pm?

Whatever it is, cancel it!

That's the night of The Belmont Student Showcase!

That night my film from last year, as well as several other student films will be shown. It's gonna be ace.

I'm acting in one of the other films being shown, and we will also be seeing the world premier of Sticks & Stones. Written and Directed by Scott Ironside. The showcase lasts for around 90 minutes during which several very good films will be shown. And afterwards I'll be in the bar starting what I'm sure will be a very good night out. It's time to bring back Monday Night Razz!

Care to join me?

It's gonna be ace!

You know you want to!

Miss it, miss out!

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

Are you good at art/photoshop?

2011-06-01T12:01:00.002+01:00

How's it goin?

As the title of this entry might suggest, I am looking for someone who is good at art and/or photoshop.

The picture above might give you a clue as to why.

My second book is currently being edited and I hope to have it ready to go within a few weeks. But as everyone knows, you always judge a book by it's cover!

Sadly I have the artistic skills of a drunken monkey, a drunken monkey with no hands, a drunken monkey with no hands and no eyesight. So I am looking for some help.

Can you design a cover for my new book?

There's a bit of money in it for you.

I can't pay you anything in advance, but I will pay you 10% of anything I make.

The book tells the story of the four weddings I attended last summer, and the various events surround them. It's called:

The Wedding Blogger

4 Weddings

3 Amazing Chat Up Lines

2 Stag Parties

1 Speech About A Wedding Cake

I am open to suggestions regarding the cover, so if you are good with photoshop, or you can draw, or you can use some fancy computer drawing program that I can't, then let me know. It would be greatly appreciated. And if it sells lots then you might make a wee bit of money out of it.

If you can help then send me an e-mail:

Andy@RandomAndom.com

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you will receive a mention in the book. If you don't, you will receive a punch in the face! (Not really, I'm a lover, not a fighter.)

My Classmates Films: Bonjour Tout La Monde

2011-05-30T12:01:00.005+01:00

Hi

How's it goin?

This weeks Classmates Film is Cat's first year film. It stars Struan, as a dude who runs about and stuff, and he likes baloons, and trees.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to http://www.theblogofandyg.com/ and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then I shall perform an ancient celtic ritual designed to bring good fortune to you and your family. it will require the sacrificing of three chickens, and the blood of a virgin and a 17 snickers bars.

Adventures in Stornoway

2011-05-27T12:01:00.001+01:00

How's it goin?

Back in March, I did a week long feature on the blog called Island Week. The films featured on Island Week were submissions for a film festival in Stornoway. Out of all the films submitted by my classmates, four of them were deemed good enough to be put forward to the festival, and the four people responsible were taken to Stornoway, all expenses paid.

Which was nice.

It was a long trip. It involved a train, a free meal at pizza express, a coach, a ferry and a coach. During which time I watched several episodes of The Big Bang Theory on my iphone, and discovered that my classmate Cat had never, ever read a newspaper before. The whole concept was baffling to her. She genuinely struggled to figure out what to do. In the end she just gave up and stared out the window for another two hours.

The train took us to Inverness and then we waited for a coach to Ullapool in order to catch a ferry to Stornoway. It was a two hour wait until the ferry, so we did what any other sensible group of people would do in this situation, we went to the pub.

En route to the pub we discovered this sign for a chip shop. Spot the spelling mistake?

It was a long hard 3 days away, filled with drinking and films. And lots of people speaking gaelic.

The festival had lots of various award ceremonies and workshops/lectures to attend. Some of them were very interesting. It was a great we trip away. I made some videos of our trip, and one of the girls with us took about 400 photos.

Here are the videos I made on my eye phone. Sorry they are not the best quality and I couldn't be bothered to edit them in anyway. I'm pretty busy at the moment so you people are lucky to be getting this.

You're welcome!

If you can't see the videos above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

And so it's all over. It was a fantastic three days away, almost all expenses paid. Which was nice. Cat won the green light award and rightly so. Her film was by far the best. I was just happy to get a free trip.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then you shall be punished. That is all.

Tapas Talk

2011-05-25T12:01:00.007+01:00

How's it goin?

A few weeks ago I had a conversation with Laura which I thought I would share with you. She was having a business dinner, and it was at a Spanish Tapas Restaurant. (Sadly it wasn't Tapas Towers.) Laura had never had Tapas before, so she asked me how it worked. I explained how Tapas usually works, everything comes in small portions, and usually everyone just shares everything. I explained how the menu worked, and that it is split into three sections. Vegetarian Tapas

Seafood Tapas

and Meat Tapas.

To which she asked,

"Do they not have chicken?"

Last time I checked chicken was a meat. At least it is in Aberdeen, she is from a small village called Portlethen and maybe things are different out there in the sticks?

I also found this video made by a former staff member at Tapas Towers. It's an animation of a conversation that every staff member has had with a customer at least 200 times. For some reason the animation is set in an office, I'm not sure why. Maybe Tapas Towers are branching out?

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to http://www.theblogofandyg.com/ and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you will receive a free sample of tapas in the post.

My Classmates Films: The Jezzer Kyle Show

2011-05-23T12:00:00.000+01:00

Hi

How's it goin?

This was a Multi-cam assessment written and directed by Laurence Woods. It's very good. And it stars the very talented Struan as Jezzer Kyle, Scott as the step father, and KP as a very, very chavvy girl.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then I will send you free tickets to the real Jeremy Kyle Show

(Girl) Friendly Friday: Laura

2011-05-20T11:00:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

Haven't done a Friendly Friday in a while, and since she hasn't asked for one lately, I think it's about time she had her turn.

Today's Friendly Friday is all about Laura. A.K.A. The Girlfriend.

Laura and I met several years ago at an Aberdeen pub based version of Pop Idol. Laura was one of the judges on the panel. I am unsure as to why as her singing is......unique. I was at the final of this event as it was being held at the bar Rushton was a manger of at the time.

Even though we have known each other for years we only started seeing each other 6 months ago. Better late than never. In those 6 months, here are the top 8 things I have learned about her. Why 8 I hear you ask? Because 10 is too many and 5 is not enough.

1: She hates Oliver Twist, calling him a "Greedy little shit!"

2: Just like me, she is a very good poet.

3: She hates Jessica Fletcher.

4: She rolls her eyes more than any other human being on the planet. (Usually at something I have just said.)

5: She really likes Goulash.

6: She drinks more tea than any other human being on the planet.

7: She is a very unique dancer.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

8: She loves a good frape

I will always forgive her for the occasional frape, as she is by far the coolest girlfriend ever. She got me two of the greatest presents ever.

Present 1

We are going to London for a few days at the end of June. She bought me this:

I'm going to the Doctor Who Experience in London!!

How ace is that?

If you don't like Doctor Who then don't answer that last question.

I also got this a couple of weeks ago.

I was intrigued, what could this be? And where did Laura get such wonderful wrapping paper?

And then I opened the present, and sat back in awe.

A duck in a superman costume!

How ace is that??

Everyone knows I love ducks.

Laura and I are returning to Goulash tomorrow night. If anything interesting happens I'll be sure to let you know.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to http://www.theblogofandyg.com/ and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then one day you will get a Friendly Friday. Eventually.

Another Fun Filled Night at The Club

2011-05-18T16:31:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

I've been working a lot recently, well not a lot, but more than usual. This is partly due to my incredibly dire financial situation and partly because things at Vincents and The Club have been busy. Student night is now officially finished for the summer. Which is bad as it means one less shift a week, but good as it means no more dealing with drunken asshole students. Last week I saw a guy taking a piss in the corner by the stairs, when I got the doorman to thrown him out he simply said,

"I didn't know where the toilet was." I told him he could come back in if he paid me the £100 it would cost to clean the carpet. He went off in search of a cash machine and never returned.

I also had a record number of drunken people getting taken away in ambulances. Three in one night. In the space of an hour.

Last Saturday was not particularly busy, I was kept entertained by my classmates Cat & Maija coming in for a drink or two. They were both very, very drunk. I had let a couple of the staff finish early (including the infamous Bitchface) as it was quiet, they decided to join Cat and dance like a bunch of twats. I filmed it for you as I know you're desperate to see it.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

After watching these two idiots dance, I went back to work. A short while later I found a notepad behind the bar. I have no idea how long it's been there, or what it's actually for. This is what I found written in it.

I do not know who wrote all this slanderous comments about Danny and Laura S (A.K.A. Bitchface.) And I would like to state in no uncertain terms that the comments written about Danny in that notepad are completely untrue. The stuff about Bitchface I can believe.

Later that night the other manager, Gav, came by and made some drinks. Here's an instructional video on how to make a Dr Pepper.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then I will reveal the secret location of The Club and buy you a drink.

My Classmates Films: Stephens Induction Day

2011-05-16T17:15:00.000+01:00

Hi

How's it goin?

Regulare readers will remember a few weeks ago I posted my Film Robins Induction Day. Induction day was an assignment at school which only about 3 of us actually made. Here is Stephen Horne's version. It is by far the best one made.

Without further delay, here is Stephens version of Induction Day. Enjoy. It's very, very good. And it has a cameo by a very talented actor. (Me)

If you can't see the video above then please stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

I'm sure you liked that, so why not watch some of Stephens other films:

You can see Stephen's first year film HERE

And his most recent film HERE

And of course, his Island film HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then you will receive a discount on my next book which is due out soon.

My Classmates Films: Mr Wright

2011-05-09T12:01:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

Do you have 39 minutes and 19 seconds to spare? If so then why not watch this film? Written and directed by Ian Hay, this is Mr Wright.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then I will introduce you to Mr Wright. And he's not in a good mood.

A Conversation with an Ex Employee

2011-05-06T12:01:00.001+01:00

How's it goin?

Several weeks ago, I was working. It was another busy night at Vincents, and service was in full swing. It was busy, not jam packed, but busy. We were in the middle resetting the restaurant for the next sitting, and everyone was running about, a lot. Everyone except for one employee. This particular employee was in the kitchen helping herself to a bread roll. This irritated me for two reasons.

1: We were busy trying to reset the restaurant and this waitress decided to not help out, and just stop and have a snack.

2: Staff are NOT allowed to help themselves to bread rolls.

If they want something to eat that's fine, but ask. Don't just help yourself! Someone people come to the restaurant straight from another job, and so have no time to eat themselves, that's fair enough. If a staff member comes to me ands asks for something then I will always try and accommodate them, but don't just help yourself. This particular rule was discussed at a staff meeting just three weeks prior to this incident. So this waitress had clearly decided to ignore the rules. I said to her, in a rather firm tone of voice,

"You're not allowed to eat bread roles."

Now, when your boss catches you doing something you are not supposed to be doing, you apologise and get on with whatever needs doing. This waitress did not respond in the correct manor.

"Andy, this is my first and last bread role today."

I then raised my voice to a slightly louder volume,

"NO! YOU DO NOT HELP YOURSELF TO BREAD ROLES! NOW GO AND DO SOME WORK PLEASE!"

I then took the bread role away from her, and threw it out.

Several minutes later I was quite busy at the till, cashing off several bills, organising change, and trying to manage the staff. This waitress then approached me and told me not to talk to her like that ever again. I explained to her, that I am her boss, and she should not talk back to me, if your boss gives you into trouble for doing something wrong, you apologise and get on with your job.

Clearly this waitress disagreed with that policy, stating that:

"This is not my first job, and it won't be my last. So i'm quitting tonight."

To which I replied,

"Fine. You can pick up your wages at the end of the week. Goodbye."

After leaving the restaurant, she then sent a text message to the owner saying that I screamed at her in front of customers, I slapped her and that I am pathetic and have serious anger management issues. She offered to work the rest of her shifts for the week but refused to work with me again.

I had already covered her shifts with other, much better staff members.

This really pissed me off, she blatantly lied about what happened, and she bothered my boss, who she knew was on a night out. Is there any need?

Once I heard about the text she sent to my boss, I sent her a text of my own.

From: Andy G

To: Former Crap Employee

Good afternoon. For your information I did not slap your hand. I simply took away the bread roll you had been instructed not to eat. When your boss gives you into trouble you do not talk back. You apologise and get on with your job. At the time we were busy with reset. If you were on food and there was no food to go out, you find the duty manager and ask what to do. This has been clearly explained to you more than once. Most recently at the staff meeting. I do not have any anger management issues. I just prefer it when the staff do a they are told. This is how society works with employment. Employees follow the instruction of management. If Vinnie had told you to stop eating the bread roll, would you have had the same answer? I suspect not.

Regards,

Your "pathetic" former boss.

From: Crappy Former Employee

To: Andy G

Glad you text me andy because I forgot to tell you to fuck off before I left and now that I have your number I have the chance I hoped I will. You did slap my hand don't lie to me cause I was there remember? Say this lie to Vinnie to keep your job. Vinnie is a nice man that would never act the way you did, you're just a sad person. Now go fuck yourself and don't text me back, had enough of u already.

From: Andy G

To: Former Crap Employee

How childish. Good bye and Good Luck.

Telling a lie to keep my job? I think not. And if she thinks that Vinnie (the owner) would be nicer to her than I was, then she really doesn't know him half as well as she thinks she does.

I very much look forward to the day that her new employer calls and asks for a reference, cos it sure as hell won't be the owners who'll be writing it.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you are a much nicer person than my former employee, which wouldn't be hard.

30 Day Challenge: Challenge Complete!

2011-05-04T12:01:00.004+01:00

How's it goin?

So my 30 day challenge has come to an end. Every day for 30 days I posted a picture, or pictures according to a pre determined list I saw on facebook. I hope you enjoyed it.

Jonny Mountain said he is going to miss the daily blog posts. Which was nice of him. I don't think he has much else going on in his life.

During the 30 day challenge, this blog was visited 654 times by 408 unique users from 56 different countries, and even one person from Croyden!

And someone from a town called Chipping Sodbury!

What a great name!

I even had a celebrity reader. The one, the only ROLAND FOOKING RAT!!!

He sent me a tweet regarding Day 30: A picture of someone you miss.

The most viewed post throughout the month of April was not one of my challenge posts, It was The Tale Of The Bratislavan Stag Do: Naked Mud Wrestling, A Stolen Wallet, and A Drink In My Retina! It was viewed 145 times.

The good thing about the 30 day challenge for me was that I wrote it all in advance. The past 30 days have been very busy for me. I went to Stornoway for a few days, I went to Glasgow for a couple of days. I did a two week work placement which I just finished today. I'll be writing about these experiences and more in the next few weeks, which I am sure you are excited about reading. I know dear reader that you have very little else in your life other than this little blog. And that's ok. I still love you. Unless you are a knob, in which case, I don't.

I also spent a lot of time this past April writing my next book.

The first draft is currently in the hands of my editor who is probably destroying it with the Red Pen Of Doom!

For anyone who cares, my next book is about my experiences last summer. As regular readers will be aware, last summer I went to four weddings in the space of 6 weeks. This book is a chronicling of these events. I'm hoping to have it ready to go in a few weeks. I really need the money, so when it is available, please buy it, and then tell your friends to buy it. It's tentatively titled,

The Wedding Blogger

4 Weddings

3 Amazing Chat Up Lines

2 Stag Do's

1 Speech About A Cake

If anyone can come up with a better title I am open to suggestions. No Four Weddings and a Funeral puns tho!

For anyone who is interested, my first book Fifty Envelopes, is now available as a download, and it's only £3. You should buy it if you haven't already. In fact even if you have bought it, you should buy it again, just in case. Sorry, like I said I really need the money.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe the next time I do a 30 day challenge I promise to mention you in every single post.

(WARNING: The previous sentence may have been a lie.)

My Classmates Films: Locked

2011-05-02T19:14:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

Every Monday for the next few Monday's, I'm gonna post one of my classmates films.

Today it's Locked.

It's very good.

Written and directed by Stephen Horne, the same Stephen Horne who wrote and directed The Dealer.

If you cannot see the vide above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

Next Monday I will post Mr Wright. A film written and directed by Ian Hay. Here's a trailer.

If you cannot see the vide above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe, then I will personally lick your face by way of thanks.

30 Day Challenge Day 30: A picture of someone you miss.

2011-04-30T12:01:00.002+01:00

How's it goin?

Remember Roland Rat? He was by far the greatest TV rat ever.

Here's a video if you don't believe me. It also stars Leslie Ash from Men Behaving Badly. Possibly her second best role ever.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on Facebook and CLICK HERE.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then maybe the blog will get a lot better in time. Probably not tho.

30 Day Challenge Day 29: A picture that can always make you smile.

2011-04-29T12:01:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

This picture always makes me smile.

It's my parent's car, which I borrowed to go to the pub.

Couple of things I should point out. I wasn't drinking. I was working at the pub.

I DID NOT crash into that bollard. It was already leaning that way. I parked the car and took the photo in such a way that made it look like I had crashed into it. I thought it would be funny. Despite this, my Mum saw this photo and claimed that there was a dent in the front of the car, and attempted to lay the blame on me. Citing the above picture as evidence.

The above picture was taken for purely comedy purposes. I did not crash into the bollard. So who did crash the car Mum?

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then I will take a comical photo of your car. If you like.

30 Day Challenge Day 28: A picture of something you're afraid of.

2011-04-28T12:01:00.003+01:00

Hi

How's it goin?

I. Fear. Nothing.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do not subscribe, then you will have something to be afraid of.

30 Day Challenge Day 27: A picture of yourself and a family member.

2011-04-27T12:01:00.001+01:00

How's it goin?

I don't think I have any pics of myself and a family member. I'm sure they exist somewhere. But I don't have any. There are no recent pics, mainly because my family don't really like me. Which is fair enough. I am a bit of a knob.
So here's a pic of myself and my brother from another mother.

According to facebook he is my brother, so that must make it true.
The above pic of myself and Adam was taken while working on board The Ship. Several years later I got this picture turned into a life size cardboard cut out of the two of us. In fact I got two. Well it was so cheap to get the second one it would have been stupid NOT to have done it. My cutout lives in my bedroom at Campaworld behind my DVD shelf, casting an ever watchful eye on all who enter my room.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then I will paint a portrait of you, break into an art museum and hang it for all too see.

30 Day Challenge Day 26: A picture of something that means a lot to you.

2011-04-26T12:01:00.002+01:00

How's it goin?

This picture is filled with things that mean a lot to me.

Obviously I'm wearing my cowboy hat, and Jeremy is in the background. But the focus of the picture is clearly "The Boob Mug."

The Boob Mug is one of my favourite mugs.

Adam bought it for me when we were on The Ship. I was in a bit of a bad mood, and he was lucky enough to get the afternoon of in St Thomas. I was not so lucky. So while he was off relaxing at the beach with beers galore. I was serving the cheap bastards who all came back on board for lunch.

To cheer me up, when Adam came back on board, he presented me with this mug, and a beer. I drank the beer right away. In fact I think I had a few, then went to work. So this mug does mean a lot to me. It always cheers me up.
Also this picture is very important to me, as my lovely girlfriend took it. I have deliberately not mentioned her throughout the majority of the 30 Day Challenge, as I did not want to appear a soppy git.
Thank you Laura for taking this lovely picture. It is very lovely. Just like you. And thank you for that battenberg the other day. It was top notch.

Have you ever had Battenberg Cake?

It's bloody lovely!

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then maybe Laura will stop beating me and I can stop telling you all how lovely she is. She makes me say these things. Please help me, I'm being held hostage.

30 Day Challenge Day 25: A picture of your favorite day.

2011-04-25T12:01:00.001+01:00

How's it goin?

My favourite day is MONDAY. At least it used to be, back in the days when we had MONDAY NIGHT RAZZ!

Here's a pic of Myself, Rushton and Dr Kev, taken on the same night we found a tricycle.

For some reason on Monday Night Razz, we went through a phase where we kept taking pictures with what we thought were comedy poses, here are some of the better ones.

Good times.

Bring back The Monday Night Razz!

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then you will be fed to The Rancor

30 Day Challenge Day 24: A picture of something you wish you could change.

2011-04-24T12:01:00.002+01:00

How's it goin?

I did consider putting in a pic of my hairline again, but instead opted for this.

It wasn't a particularly tasty quiche, I had a pizza in the oven, I should have had that.

And before anyone says anything, I ran out of correct letters with the Alphabet Chips. OK?

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

if you do not subscribe I will force feed you quiche for a month.

30 Day Challenge Day 23: A picture of your favorite book.

2011-04-23T12:01:00.002+01:00

How's it goin?

This is my favourite book I've read recently. How can you not want to read it based on the title alone?

It's really good. The author Colin Bateman has written two other "Mystery Man" books and both are also excellent. He's written several other novels, not all in the mystery man series. And as soon as I get myself some more pennies I plan on buying some of his other books.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

30 Day Challenge Day 22: A picture of something you wish you were better at.

2011-04-22T12:01:00.002+01:00

How's it goin?

This is a tough one, there are so many things I wish I were better at. I recently started playing football on Tuesday nights. Just a kick about with my mates. I would like to be better at that. I have said before that my friends allowing me to play with them is like them allowing the retarded cousin to play. They know he's shit, but it's cruel to tell him no.

But in the long term I suppose the thing I wish I was better at is making films. And ultimately, writing. That's one of the reasons I started this blog in the first place. To improve my writing.

Over the past couple of years blogging, I have received some compliments about the blog, (as well as lots of abuse) and some people have said that they have noticed a certain style in my writing. That style might be shit, but it's something. So for today's picture I thought I'd show you what I hope will be the cover of a future book. It's a collection of illustrated short stories. It's been over a year in the making. Hopefully it'll be ready to show you soon.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you will be one of the first people to hear about when my new book is available and you will get it at a discount price.

30 Day Challenge Day 21: A picture of something you wish you could forget.

2011-04-21T12:01:00.002+01:00

How's it goin?

I really, really wish I could forget this.

For the story behind this photograph, and a pic of the thing I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wish I could forget,

CLICK HERE

You won't be sorry. Unless you have read that story before, in which case, you might be sorry. Well not sorry, but a bit annoyed.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then a Demon shall take over your very soul

30 Day Challenge Day 20: A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

2011-04-20T12:01:00.002+01:00

How's it goin?

One of my biggest regrets about my time living in America is that I didn't actually leave New York. I would love to go to Vegas. Although with my luck I would most likely spend all my money within 2 hours of arriving and spend the rest of my time searching the streets for a quarter to play the fruit machines.

One day I'll make it to Vegas, one day.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then I won't need to put these stupid little messages at the end of every blog post.

30 Day Challenge Day 19: A picture and a letter.

2011-04-19T12:01:00.009+01:00

How's it goin?

A picture and a letter? Well regular readers should know I am pretty good at writing letters. I have decided against a shameless plug for MY BOOK. Instead I have opted to give you a letter I wrote last August, to Lothian Buses. This was written whilst I was working at Tapas Towers for the festival in August 2010. Regular readers will remember this is not the first time I've had problems with a bus company.

Dear Lothian Buses,

Good day. I hope this letter finds you well and you are enjoying the Festival atmosphere in Edinburgh. I am sorry to say I am not writing just to say that.

I am highly annoyed with one of your drivers.
I am in Edinburgh working for the festival. I had just finished a 13 hour shift, during which time I only had time to eat half a sandwich, and not a very good sandwich either.
I finished work at 10:30pm and was starving. Knowing I didn't have any food in the house I opted for a Macdonalds. Not something I usually do but I was hungry and it is quick.

I did not want to sit in the restaurant at that time of night with all the drunkards, so I got my meal to take away so I could take it home and eat in some peace in front of the tv.

The number 22 bus to ocean terminal arrived at Princes Street stop opposite The Balmoral Hotel at 22:45. I boarded, but I was told by the driver I was not allowed on board with take away food.

Why?

I was not planning on eating on board the bus. I was clearly not intoxicated, or under the influence of any illegal substances. I had just had a very long day and wanted to go home and eat my crappy cheeseburger. I have taken food on board your bus's before and this has never been a problem.

Just yesterday when I took the bus home after another incredibly long day, the couple in the seat behind me had fish and chips, this did not bother me nor any of the other passengers.
I was told by your driver that take away food is not permitted. I asked how I was meant to get home, he said that I should enjoy my meal and get the next bus.

Enjoy my meal?

Where?

In the Bus stop?

With all the drunkards passing by?

What the hell?

Is this a joke of some kind?

This is ridiculous!

I offered to put my food in my backpack until I reached my destination, but the driver simply said no.

I am very angry at this.

All I wanted to do was get home after an incredibly long day and eat my crappy meal in peace, and your driver robbed me of that very simple pleasure.

When I boarded the next bus the guy in front of me was carrying a bag from Burger King.

WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?

Is this some form of prejudice just against Macdonalds?

I would like an explanation as to the behaviour of this driver?

Is this a policy that exists?

If so, why is it not enforced all the time?

The couple with Fish and Chips got to go home.

The guy with the Burger King got to go home.

But I did not.

I was forced to eat my meal in the very uncomfortable bus stop.

This is bang out of order!

And thats not a sentence I use lightly.

I am a frequent user of your buses and have sung your companies praises on more than one occasion. I am from Aberdeen and the bus service up in the Granite city is crap. Far more expensive and much less reliable. But they don't have a problem with you taking your dinner home.

I am extremely disappointed in your company and with this driver. I am seriously considering simply walking from now on.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this matter.

Kind Regards

Andy Graham
Irritated Traveller

__________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Mr Graham,

Thank you for your comments regarding the actions of the driver on the Service 22 on 13 August 2010.

Firstly, may I apologise for the incident that you encountered. I was most concerned by the event you described and have investigated as fully as possible. There is official documentation on the drivers cab door that clearly states in both wording and signage that hot food and drinks are not permitted, however this notice is to try and deter passengers from bringing food and drink on to our vehicles. You are perfectly entitled to travel onboard our vehicles with food as long as it is in a bag and it is not consumed onboard the vehicle.

Unfortunately on this occasion the driver’s behaviour fell far below the standard that is acceptable from an employee of this Company, and for this I can only apologise. I have taken the necessary steps to ensure this does not happen again, and I will also ask our Driving Standards Officer to carry out checks in all aspects of his work. I can assure you that this Company trains staff to a high level and acts strongly against those members who fail to maintain the standard required. I trust that you will allow me to deal with this matter accordingly.

On behalf of Lothian Buses Plc, please again accept my sincere apologies for the lack of professionalism and for any embarrassment caused, and I am grateful that you have taken the time to bring this matter to our attention.

Yours sincerely

A. Person

Lothian Buses 0 - Andy G 1

Although I would have appreciated a free bus pass or something.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

30 Day Challenge Day 18: A picture of your biggest insecurity.

2011-04-18T12:01:00.004+01:00

How's it goin?

I've got literally hundreds of insecurities. So it's hard to pick just one. I guess I'll put up a picture of me which my girlfriend commented on recently.

The above picture was my facebook profile pic for about a week, when Laura commented,
"I'm surprised you used that pic as your profile."

She refused to explain her reasoning behind this comment. But I knew it was a jest in reference to my hairline.

Yes, I know I am going bald. I have accepted it. But my Dad was bald at 25, and I'm nearly 29.

HA HA.

In your face Dad.

I should point out that my girlfriend Laura believes that every time I mention her in the blog, she comes across as a bit of a bitch and it looks like she is constantly nasty to me. This of course was never my intention and is not in any way true. She's not nasty, she's lovely. Hence the reason she is lucky enough to be my girlfriend.

Hopefully that will stop her beating me for a while.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then I will let you come with me when I pick out a wig for when I finally do go completely bald.

30 Day Challenge Day 17: A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

2011-04-17T12:01:00.002+01:00

How's it goin?

Here's a pic of something that has made a huge impact on my life recently.

It's a bit sad to put that down eh? But it's true. I started my TV course 18 months ago now. And I'm nearly done. And it's all thanks to this big ass camera that I've gotten to make my films. It's a top notch piece of equipment and where ever I end up in a few months, I am not expecting to have access to such high quality gear again.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then I will spend an entire day doing nothing except send you good thoughts via telepathy.

30 Day Challenge Day 16: A picture of someone who inspires you.

2011-04-16T12:01:00.001+01:00

How's it goin?

Someone who inspires me,

Kevin Smith. He's a legend. While working at a local shop in his hometown, he made a movie, set in the shop. This movie was the legendary Clerks. It's one of my all time favourite movies. I attempted to do something similar with The Playhouse. (Clerks is clearly vastly superior to my film) Kevin Smith has went on to write and direct several other truly brilliant films. He also writes comic books. Most recently Batman. They are also ace.

Kevin Smith, You are a legend.

Here's a trailer for his first movie, Clerks.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then maybe next time I am asked to put a picture of someone who inspires me on my blog, then it will be a picture of you.*

*It probably won't be you though.

30 Day Challenge Day 15: A picture of something you want to do before you die.

2011-04-15T12:02:00.000+01:00

How's it goin?

Something I want to do before I die....

Enough said.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then it doesn't really make that much of a difference to me.

The Blog of Andy G

Im Moving

Lack Of Blogging

My Classmates Films: Waiting In Montana

My Final Essay

My Classmates Films: PHUGS!

Stevo Has NOT Bought My Book!

The Adventures of BeerMan

Adventures in Glasgow

My Classmates Films: Harrassment

The Tale Of The Strange Tasting Porridge

The Hotel Promo

The Uncut Making Of The Hotel Promo

The Official Making Of The Hotel Promo

Behind The Scenes on D.C.A.

My Classmates Films: SEE THEM TONIGHT!!

Book Look: The Show Where We Take A Look At A Book

Killer Dogs and Secret Space Rockets

My Final Project: Suburbia University

Behind The Scenes on Phugs

per·func·to·ry

An Interview with a Muppet

My Classmates Films: Strands

More Shit (Not literally shit) For Sale

Nearly done

My Classmates Films: How To Rule At Pool

Wanna come see a movie?

Are you good at art/photoshop?

My Classmates Films: Bonjour Tout La Monde

Adventures in Stornoway

Tapas Talk

My Classmates Films: The Jezzer Kyle Show

(Girl) Friendly Friday: Laura

Another Fun Filled Night at The Club

My Classmates Films: Stephens Induction Day

My Classmates Films: Mr Wright

A Conversation with an Ex Employee

30 Day Challenge: Challenge Complete!

My Classmates Films: Locked

30 Day Challenge Day 30: A picture of someone you miss.

30 Day Challenge Day 29: A picture that can always make you smile.

30 Day Challenge Day 28: A picture of something you're afraid of.

30 Day Challenge Day 27: A picture of yourself and a family member.

30 Day Challenge Day 26: A picture of something that means a lot to you.

30 Day Challenge Day 25: A picture of your favorite day.

30 Day Challenge Day 24: A picture of something you wish you could change.

30 Day Challenge Day 23: A picture of your favorite book.

30 Day Challenge Day 22: A picture of something you wish you were better at.

30 Day Challenge Day 21: A picture of something you wish you could forget.

30 Day Challenge Day 20: A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

30 Day Challenge Day 19: A picture and a letter.

30 Day Challenge Day 18: A picture of your biggest insecurity.

30 Day Challenge Day 17: A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

30 Day Challenge Day 16: A picture of someone who inspires you.

30 Day Challenge Day 15: A picture of something you want to do before you die.