Duck & cover

Hi

I’ve just seen an advert and it has enraged me! It was a charity appeal for pet vaccinations.

“Just 2 pounds a month can save a pets life”

and all that crap. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for charity and helping animals, I’ve always said I’d love to have a pet monkey.

But two things really annoyed me about that advert. First of all, if you can’t afford to give a pet its jabs, then don’t fucken own one.

Secondly, in the advert it has a montage of shots of various pets looking sick, like a dog, cat, rabbit etc, and then a horse showed up! A fucking horse!!! Who has a pet horse? If you own a horse then your probably pretty well off. I’ve never seen anyone going down to the pound and walkin out with a horse. A horse for fuck sake! So some rich bastard has spent all his money on caviar and wants me to spend 2 pound a month so his prize stallion doesn’t get horse flu! Well fuck that!! (the situation, not the horse)

I’ve never really had a pet, my old flatmate had a cat when we lived in rosemount, he sadly died on hogmanay, I was gutted. I just spent a tenner on catfood.

This got me to thinking about pets. As I mentioned I would love to have a pet monkey,I would teach it to do things and we would be like ross and marcel in friends. But sadly I don’t think this will happen.

So thought I better have a more realistic pet. Im thinking about a duck.

I think ducks are my favourite bird. Think about it, ducks are cool.

Here are some of the celebrity ducks

Ed the Duck

Definitely one of the cooler ducks out there. He lived in the broom cupboard with Andy Crane and Andi Peters (whatever happened to them?) he had a cool green Mohawk . click on the you tube link to see him attempt to fly a plane, this scared the shit out of me, why would you let a clearly irresponsible puppet duck pilot a commercial aircraft? Madness

Donald Duck

One of the most famous Ducks around. He usually wears a sailor shirt and cap but there is no evidence he was ever in the navy. His birthday is apparently on Friday the 13^th, this explains his constant bad luck. Personally I never liked him, I always thought he came off as a bit of an arse.

Huey, Dewey & Louie

The kid ducks, There Donalds nephews. they strike me as being a pain to look after.

Scrooge McDuck

He’s definitely in my top 3 ducks, He’s Scottish he’s like a gijillionnaire, he goes swimming in his massive pool of mney and was the star of Duck Tales, one of the coolest tv shows ever! According to wikipedia in 2007, Glasgow City Council added Scrooge to its list of "Famous Glaswegians", alongside the likes of Billy Connolly, Sir Alex Ferguson & Charles Rennie Mackintosh.

Daffy Duck

He always struck me as having serious mental problems, a very angry duck, always shouting at bugs bunny. Someone should get him some serious therapy.

Darkwing Duck

A true duck superhero with a cool theme tune, number 2 in my top 3 ducks.

Orville the Duck

Everybody loved Orville the duck, although you have to worry that he’s not nappy trained yet. He was a bit of a pessimist claiming he couldn’t fly. Just give it a go, what are you, a duck or a chicken? It was also quite strange that he was bright green. What was up with that? Too much midori?

Howard the Duck

From the 1986 movie of the same name, he was a very cool Duck. He easily takes the top spot of number 1 duck! He accidently got sucked here through a wormhole from his home, planet of the ducks. He fought a massive space monster, shagged lea Thomson (Marty Mcflys mum) and played in a rock band. That’s one cool duck.

any thoughts? who is your favorite duck? got to be howard!! come on!

cya

Andy