Monday, 1 June 2009

things that happen in pubs.

hows it going? well i know at least one person is reading this so thats at least something.( but he's only doin that cos he has fuck all do to at work) i saw something quite amusing the other day and felt compelled to write about it.
it was another fun filled day in the restaurant, i was in at 10:30 which i never really like as i am NOT a morning person. never the less i managed to get in on time and started gettin on with things. It was a really sunny day out and i was workin on the door, i was enjoying watching the talent walk past the window but was ultimately bored at the lack of customers. it was prob the quietest saturday ive worked in this particular restaurant. We didn't even open the upstairs level for lunch which is a first for me. another first for a saturday was at 1pm my boss told me to go for my break, usually on a saturday all the staff get half and hour, i usually only take about 15 mins, i just like to eat my crappy staff meal and ge back to it. but today i was told to take 2 hours. this is unheard of on a saturday. i didn't know what to do with myself. so i went home and watched top gear and re energized on the finest pizza sainsburys frozen food section had to offer. after headin back to work i was disappointed to find it was still quiet but jst got on with it. We were already one manager down that day as he was off sick, our art time manager wasn't feeling too hot either so being the nice guy that i am we let her go home early and i volunteered to stay late, this is something i would come to regret. around 11:30 a customer claimed his girlfriend(who i am fairly certain was a man in drag) was being violently ill in the ladies room, Our female duty manager went to assist and discovered her throwing up in the cubicle. she/he decided to throw up on the floor, not the toilet boll provided. IT WAS MINGING!!! imagine a massive spanish omelette thats gone horribly wrong and smells like bigfoots dick! she/he claimed we gave her food poisoning but after pointing out her partner had exactly the same food and he is fine she/he soon shut up, and then threw up again, she/he was clearly very pished! after gettin her/him/it out of the building, Paddy, our resident american waiter volunteered to clean it up. I think he did this so he could avoid some annoying customers, he regretted offering his services soon after he saw the gallons upon gallons of vomit he had to mop up.
Once all the customers left the staff were given a well earned beer. one of our waitress is leaving the country so a few drinks were in order to celebrate her escape. we headed to a local late night abr round the corner called grand cru, its a bit expensive but its alright. After a couple of drinks one of the girls spotted something out the window. The bar has windows facing onto a back alley and what looks to be a hotel or fancy apartments im not sure which. Well there was a couple shagging away who forgot to close the blinds. whoops!!!
I'm not sure if we caught the end of the shagging or if the poor bloke was a 2 minute wonder but we only saw a couple of minutes. after they finished they got dressed and the woman came to the window for a cigarette, after lighting it she looked down to the bar window to see 15 drunken restaurant workers shouting and giving her the thumbs up. The poor woman looked horrified. Bloody brilliant. I was about 3 beers in by this point and thought this was the greatest thing EVER!!
After realising it was my round i headed to the bar to get the beers in and witnessed a genuine dance off. It looked like something from a cheesy 80s movie, only shitter. but because i was a bit drunk i thought this was brilliant. These two guys did not appear to know each other, and were taking it in turns to have a little boogie. it was incredibly funny to watch, it looked like the scene from starsky and hutch. it ended with one guy dancin his little heart out and ending in the worm.( i think thats what its called). it was a really good night. I don't go out with the restaurant staff very often but if thats a typical night im gonna start.
my night ended in disappointment tho, the kebab shop was shut. was gutted, surely 3:30 am is the most popular time to get a kebab. when i open my kebab shop im gonna keep it open until at least 4:30.
Ive already got a few names in mind these include
To Hallal and back
abra kebabra
and my personal favorite
Andys Kebabs
its simple and to the point
much like myself.
what would you call your kebab shop?
The best answer will receive a kebab of there choice paid for by me
your challenge is set.
good night and good luck.
Andy G

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts with Thumbnails