So my 30 day challenge has come to an end. Every day for 30 days I posted a picture, or pictures according to a pre determined list I saw on facebook. I hope you enjoyed it.
Jonny Mountain said he is going to miss the daily blog posts. Which was nice of him. I don't think he has much else going on in his life.
During the 30 day challenge, this blog was visited 654 times by 408 unique users from 56 different countries, and even one person from Croyden!
And someone from a town called Chipping Sodbury!
What a great name!
I even had a celebrity reader. The one, the only ROLAND FOOKING RAT!!!
The good thing about the 30 day challenge for me was that I wrote it all in advance. The past 30 days have been very busy for me. I went to Stornoway for a few days, I went to Glasgow for a couple of days. I did a two week work placement which I just finished today. I'll be writing about these experiences and more in the next few weeks, which I am sure you are excited about reading. I know dear reader that you have very little else in your life other than this little blog. And that's ok. I still love you. Unless you are a knob, in which case, I don't.
I also spent a lot of time this past April writing my next book.
The first draft is currently in the hands of my editor who is probably destroying it with the Red Pen Of Doom!
For anyone who cares, my next book is about my experiences last summer. As regular readers will be aware, last summer I went to four weddings in the space of 6 weeks. This book is a chronicling of these events. I'm hoping to have it ready to go in a few weeks. I really need the money, so when it is available, please buy it, and then tell your friends to buy it. It's tentatively titled,
The Wedding Blogger
4 Weddings
3 Amazing Chat Up Lines
2 Stag Do's
1 Speech About A Cake
If anyone can come up with a better title I am open to suggestions. No Four Weddings and a Funeral puns tho!
For anyone who is interested, my first book Fifty Envelopes, is now available as a download, and it's only £3. You should buy it if you haven't already. In fact even if you have bought it, you should buy it again, just in case. Sorry, like I said I really need the money.
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe the next time I do a 30 day challenge I promise to mention you in every single post.
(WARNING: The previous sentence may have been a lie.)
Like I'm sure a lot of you do, I like a good text. It's a handy way to keep in touch and something to keep you occupied when you're bored. I thought I would share with you some of the best text's I've received in the past few months.
Laura claims she was referring to me dedicating a Friendly Friday to her. I don't think that's what she meant.
Back in September of 2009, I wrote about how my friend Jonesy was getting a bit violent towards celebrities. He recently had a relapse into this behaviour.
Laura felt the need to inform me about her sexual activities when I'm not around.
Speaks for itself really. I think everyone should receive a random fact of the day.
True. It is.
The second best text I received that day. I'm keeping the best one all to myself.
I do have nice nipples.
And to finish off this rather pointless and dull post, a song. But it's a good song. I strongly suggest you play the video below.
If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe." If you do subscribe then I will send you an amusing text by way of thanks.
Why he felt the need to text me this at 1:02 am is beyond me.
While I was busy searching for the Nurofen, (everyone knows I love Nurofen and they are also quite fond of me.) Laura Fraped me. For those unfamiliar with Fraping. It is when someone gains access to your facebook account and posts something you would not normally post. Facebook rape. Frape.
This is quite a mild example, I have seen much worse things posted. So in many ways I got off lightly.
After downing our painkillers we then slept until well after 2pm. When we woke we both had a strange craving for a subway sandwich, and then destiny helped us with our craving. I found a book in the post box filled with subway vouchers.
Winner!
I also used this opportunity to go to big Tesco. Laura had her car with her and since Ivano has been working away it's not easy to get to do a big shop.
I had to buy supplies for tomorrow. For tomorrow I am making a cottage pie. It's for school. One of the four films I am making is an instructional video on how to make a cottage pie. And I do make one hell of a cottage pie.
Since this post is all about last Sunday, I can tell you dear reader that the filming of "Cooking With Struan" went very well. We made a bloody lovely cottage pie and hopefully I'll have the video edited within a couple of weeks for you to see. During the course of filming, Struan did provide an excellent commentary which has changed the tone of the video for the better. I look forward to sharing it with you.
Back to the day I'm meant to be writing about. When we arrived at Tesco I searched high and low, but I couldn't find the cottage pie isle. I asked an employee and I don't think he even understood what I meant.
What a dick.
After shopping and subway it was time to return home. Where I had another nap.
Then it was dinner time.
If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.
And that's about it for a week in the life of Andy G. Not very exciting. But at least I've had something to write about all week.
I hope this diary has kept your boredom demons at bay, and maybe given you a small glimpse into how incredibly dull it is to be me.
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe." If you do subscribe then I will get Jonny Mountain to send you complimentary texts about your genitalia.
And so the weekend has landed, here's how my Saturday went.
Saturday February 5th 2011
I am fairly certain that the new washing machine is not working properly. Either this or I didn't set it up properly. Nah. It must be broken, that's the only logical explanation. Everything that comes out is absolutely soaking. Obviously it's gonna come out wet, but it's very wet. And dripping all over the floor.
This is worrying.
I spent most of the day in my bed, around half 2 I began to feel guilty about not doing anything productive. So I went out for a run, I took Grappa The Crazy Killer Demon Dog From Hell with me again. I'm secretly hoping that she will somehow escape from her lead and run under a bus. I would never intentionally kill the dog, even though I fucking hate the thing. But if the dog dies by escaping from me and getting run over by a bus and her brains splatter all over the pavement. Well that's not my fault is it? Most people think the dog is actually really nice. Well it's not. The dog is a dick, and want's to kill me. I have proof.
See?
Tonight Laura and I are going to a Burns Supper. Albeit a delayed one. Burns night was actually over a week ago. But I'm not complaining. It was for her friends pipe band. I had met these guys only once before and they were good banter.
I was told this was an informal thing, which threw me somewhat. For the better part of two weeks I annoyed Laura constantly about whether or not I should Kilt up!
But this was an informal Burns supper. What should I do? I didn't want to go and be the only guy there NOT wearing a kilt. Laura's mate said I could do whatever I wanted, kilt up or not kilt up. It's a question that has plagued man kind since the beginning of time.
Well, it's plagued scottish men.
Apparently the band were all going to be in kilts. So should I wear a kilt and blend in? What if someone think's I'm in the band, and force me up on stage to play something? It'll be like that scene out of American Pie 2 when Jim has to play the trumpet and pretend he is a retard.
If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE
So for the majority of this week, I have been pre occupied about whether or not to kilt up! Then Saturday evening arrived, and the decision was made for me. I looked out my kilt, and discovered that my shirt had not been washed since the last time I wore it. At Kev and Alice's Wedding. And after the events of the wedding my shirt was not in a fit state. You see, dear reader, as I am sure you are aware, I am at times a bit of a drunken moron. Just look at this for proof. Or this. Or even this.
The wedding of Kev and Alice was no exception to my drunken antics. At one point I was slapping Mark's ass with a tambourine. Although I'm not really sure why.
I'm not going to go into the rest of the wedding, as that's a story for another day. However, I will tell you how I ruined my shirt. It was late on in the evening, and Kev was outside having a cheeky fag. Earlier that day he told me he wasn't going to smoke, and if he did I was to stop him. This was a task I did not undertake lightly. As soon as I heard what Kev was doing, I put down my pint next to the three others I had waiting for me. (People kept buying me drinks, I'm not sure why, possibly to see what would happen for comedy value.) I stormed outside as fast as my drunken feet could carry me. However it had been raining outside, and the outside decking was very slippery. And as I stormed outside determined to stop my friend from smoking, I slipped. I didn't just slip a little bit though. I slipped in such an over the top comedy manner. I went flying through the air. I honestly believe that time slowed down and I was moving in slo-mo. At one point as I was in mid air, I thought that perhaps I had finally discovered my latent super power. Maybe I had the ability to fly. Maybe this was my grand moment where my powers would manifest themselves, and I would fly off into the night, to become KILT MAN. But then Gravity took over, I did not fly off, and I still remember being in the air and thinking,
"Well this can't be good."
I came crashing down to the ground with a thunderous thunder. I heard laughing, lots of laughing. I saw pointing, lots of pointing. Then the pointing and laughing combined. People were pointing, and laughing, at me. In my drunken state I searched my brain for some way out of this situation. There must be someway to keep some smidgen of dignity and self respect in this situation. Then I had an idea. I would just stay on the ground. I just lay there, on the ground in a, "I'm just lying on the deck to chill out" sort of way. I don't think that was the vibe I was giving off, but it was what I was aiming for. Obviously the deck was very wet, and a bit muddy. Which in turn transferred that mud onto my brand new white shirt. Which now had a slightly brown motif to it. And was ripped. The rest of that night is somewhat of a drunken blur. And I had forgotten all about my drunken stumble and ruining of my kilt shirt until the very moment I opened up my kilt bag to put on my kilt shirt.
So back to the present day, my decision was made for me, my kilt shirt was ruined. Yes I had other shirts I could have worn, but I felt this was destiny telling me not to wear a kilt. And I'm glad I didn't. I would have been incredibly over dressed. The only people in Kilts were the band, and most of them changed out of them after they played a couple of tunes.
The night was being held in a social clubs function. The last time I was in this particular building was for a wake. This visit was definitely more cheery. It was also incredibly cheap. I drank. A lot. The purpose of the night was a fundraiser for the band. They had food included in the ticket price and then a raffle, you got one free raffle ticket upon entry and you had to pay for more if you wanted. In an attempt to impress Laura's friends I had donated a raffle prize. A gift voucher for Vincents. I was tempted to give them a copy or two of my book, but I have to pay for them. Myself and Laura both bought raffle tickets, and I am gutted to say that neither of us won anything. WTF? I donated a prize! The least they could do was fix it so I could win something. We decided to drown our sorrows in Jaeger Bombs. Several of them in fact. It was at this point that the night starts to become a bit hazy.
I asked on facebook if any of my pal's were out tonight. This sparked a massive debate.
So my Auntie Pat think's I'm a gay. This is something that my Mum once thought also. When I first got the job on the QE2, one of the first things she said to me was,
"There's a lot of gay boys on ship's Andrew."
And when I came home on my first leave, Mum was on the phone to someone while I was in sitting in the same room. This was the conversation.
"Yeah, Andrew's been home for about a week now, my ironing has tripled and he's been out drinking every night. No he hasn't come home with a girlfriend......... or a boyfriend. At least that would be something."
Anyway, back to the night. We left the venue around 1ish and decided to head home. This sparked a massive debate about which way to go for a taxi. I suggested we walk towards my house and try and flag one down on the way. She said we should walk towards town and get one at a taxi rank. I won. We were staying at my house. So it's my rules. I will admit that my memory of this is incredibly hazy, but this is what happened as best as I can remember it.
About 3 minutes into our walk towards my place. Laura started moaning that her feet were soar because of her shoes.
Fooking women and shoes. I'll never get it.
I gave her a piggy back for about 500 yards during which time two taxi's past us by. Clearly not stopping because we appeared to be too drunkards staggering home and no taxi driver would be stupid enough to take us. I then stopped the piggy backing in an attempt to look more sober and deserving to passing taxi's. Laura continued to moan, about her feet. After another five minutes of this moaning I couldn't take anymore. I gave her my shoes. She walked home in my shoes and I walked home in my socks.
Laura if you are reading this, (and I know you are) I gave you my shoes because I am a very nice, sweet, kind man. And since I am such a nice, sweet, kind man, and I gave you my shoes to walk home in, you must promise NOT to read the next paragraph.
Promise? Ok. good.
Dear reader. I did not give Laura my shoes to be nice and sweet. I gave her my shoes as it was the only way to get her to stop fooking moaning! Fooking women and shoes. You're all fooking nuts!
Ok Laura you can read on now.
And so ends another fun filled Saturday night in the life of Andy G. Join me tomorrow at the crack of noon, when I tell you... The Tale of Last Sunday: Hangover sandwiches, smelling of poo and a mega cookie.
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe." If you do subscribe then maybe one day I will some up with a funny blog title with YOUR name in it. Wouldn't that be lovely?
I was a bit bored the other day, and I found myself perusing some of my old blog posts. Then I noticed something. In the right hand column of my blog page, there is a section that says,
"Crap I have written about."
It's the labels I put at the end of every blog post, so for example if you want to read about the time I did something embarrassing, you would click on the words "embarrrassing situation". Or if you want to read about one of my many adventures at Tapas Towers, you would click on the words "Tapas Towers"
It's fairly simple, if you don't understand it by now, lets face facts, you're a bit of a moron aren't ya? You really should not be allowed out in civilised society.
Anyway, I noticed that one of the labels says "restaurant reviews." Which is weird. I don't really remember reviewing any restaurants. I clicked on the links to see what crap I had written. I quite often write in this blog while drunk, so sometimes I can't remember what has been written.
The problem with having a girlfriend is that you have to go out and do stuff. So I've been going out a lot more than usual. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but it is not good for the bank balance. So I figure if I start reviewing the places I go to eat, eventually someone is going to get in touch and offer me a free meal in exchange for a review.
It's worth a try, and at least it'll give me something to write about.
So to kick off my new blogging feature of restaurant reviews, I'll start with where I had lunch last Saturday.
Henry's
Henry's is located at
4-6 Exchequer Row
City Centre,
Aberdeen
AB11 5BW
01224 582 221
This was Laura's suggestion, here's a pic of her incase you were wondering. This strange thing is, whenever we are out together she always has her hands like that. Weird eh?
Anyway I had never eaten here before but I had some kind of vague recollection that it won some kind of award within the past few years. I can't remember what it was. Something like, best pub in Aberdeen or best pub food in Aberdeen. I am possibly getting that wrong, but I am sure that it won something.
Anyway, if it hasn't won an award it bloody well should do.
It's really, really good.
It's not an overly large place, but it's certainly not small. You don't feel cramped, the tables are nicely spaced. As you can tell from the picture above they have outdoor seating in the summer, but we visited in January and it was bloody freezing outside. They have a pretty decent size menu featuring all your favourite pub foods.
We opted to have nacho's with chilli to share as a starter, which pissed off Laura as she was going to have chilli for her main course.
But to be honest I'm a selfish bastard and don't care! I wanted nachos!
Since I ruined her main course choice, Laura then switched to the smoked haddock fish cakes and I ordered the Steak Pie and chips.
The nacho's arrived after a short time, and fooking hell!
They were massive.
Now I was starving, as was Laura, but I think we both started to fear at the size of the massive bowl of nachos in front of us.
They were awesome tho.
I think we could have easily shared them between 4 people.
That is by no means a complaint, as they were awesome. We finished the bowl quite happily.
Afterwards Laura commented that her stomach is now suitably warmed up. A line I am fairly certain that she stole from Joey in Friends, but I didn't hold that against her.
Since we were both slightly hungover from the night before we were both on the soft drinks. I ordered another Diet Coke (Anyone who has read my book will know how much I love Diet Coke.) while waiting for the main course. The waitress brought over a can and opened it for me at the table. Very classy I thought. I felt like a king. A King who drinks Diet Coke, and who will not open the can himself, for he has people to do that for him.
I am easily impressed.
A short time later our main courses arrived. And they were also fooking fantastic. I had the steak pie which was one of the best I've ever had. Laura also enjoyed her fishcakes which she described as
"Very haddocky."
Given they were smoked haddock fishcakes I'd be concerned if they tasted like anything else. Also I am not sure if Haddocky is a word.
While Laura was enjoying her meal, she made a discovery, a fantastic amazing discovery. While nibbling away at her chips, buried below the fries and in amongst the salad, she saw something. Something amazing.
A CURLY FRY!!!
A MOTHER FOOKING CURLY FRY!!
Everyone knows that curly fries are the king of fries! And Laura managed to get a free one!
Lucky Bitch.
Upon discovering this I rooted through my plate in the hope of making a similar discovery, unfortunately I did not.
Gutted.
This should be seen as a major plus point for Henrys.
Complimentary curly fry with your meal!
Hell yeah!!
While enjoying our main courses, the TV in the background was on the music channel, and the song "Firework" by Katy Perry came on.
Laura seemed very tempted to get up and dance but she was too hungover. Laura has a very particular dance she does to this song, it basically involves twirling around a lot and flailing your arms around like a kid on a sugar rush trying to do an impression of a helicopter. I shall attempt to recreate this dance for you now.
If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE. It's awesome, seriously, it's actually the greatest video you will see all day. (Warning this only applies if this is the ONLY video you will watch today.)
After resisting the urge to dance, we both admitted defeat and put down our forks. I admittedly could not finish my steak pie, and Laura did not finish her fishcakes. Both meals were very, very good, just we couldn't finish them. In retrospect the nachos beforehand may have been a mistake.
Laura then commented,
"You're Ian was bigger than your stomach."
I asked here who the hell Ian was? And what has he got to do with my food?
She said that Ian was spelt een. I replied with,
"I don't care how he spells his name, what has he got to do with my lunch?"
Apparently "een" is Teuchter talk for eyes. I have never heard this before and I am fairly certain that she has just made this up. If the Anonymous Teuchter is still reading, can you get in touch? Is she lying? Is "een" teuchter speak for eyes? This is not the first time I have accused her of making up phrases. She once said to me,
"You can't see green cheese."
I have absolutely no idea what this means, but she claims it is a common expression.
Has anyone else heard this?
I suspect not.
I thought maybe she had read all about the sausage cheese incident and was trying to impress me, but got the name wrong. But she argued that everyone knows that saying.
After a lively debate about her making up phrases, the waitress returned and asked if we were wanting dessert. I didn't finish my main course, and neither did Laura, so did we really deserve pudding?
The answer is no, we did not.
But they had Sticky Toffee Pudding on the menu. Sticky Toffee Pudding is my all time favourite pudding. It was the dessert at Ian's wedding in summer and it was the biggest sticky toffee pudding I had ever seen, I even took a picture of it.
While everyone was busy taking pictures of the bride and groom and all that pish, I was busy taking a pic of my pudding.
I do worry about myself sometimes.
I was pretty much stuffed by this point, but I really wanted that sticky toffee pudding. I had a tough decision to make, I was on the verge of leaving it, then Laura suggested we share. Sharing food is something I never normally do, but then three thoughts entered my head.
1: There is no point in getting one yourself because you probably can't finish the whole thing cos you're so full.
2: She's your girlfriend, so you should probably share to be nice and romantic and all that crap.
3: She is paying.
So we ordered one sticky toffee pudding with ice cream. It was awesome. When the waitress arrived with our sticky toffee pudding, I think it was pretty obvious that she fancied me.
She said to Laura,
"I wish I could trade places with you."
It's tough being this good looking sometimes ya know.
The meal was pretty awesome, it came to £32.60. Well worth it. At the end of the meal I was incredibly embarrassed as neither of us had any money for a tip. Coming from the restaurant trade I hate it when people don't tip, it's just not on. Especially when people leave you misleading notes.
I searched my pockets and Laura searched her bag, and we managed to come up with just over £1.50. I do genuinely feel terrible about this and I think I will send them a Wispa or something to apologise for such an inadequate tip, especially considering the service was so good. One thing I was annoyed about, I spotted a sign saying students get 20% discount on food. That's awesome, but I didn't notice this until AFTER we payed.
Gutted.
It was a very good meal and I will def be back, it gets two thumbs up from me.
Fook me, I look like a right mong in that pic don't I? Oh well, I'm far too lazy to go back and change it.
So I would most definitely recommend Henry's in Aberdeen. It's well good. And apparently they do Karaoke some evenings. And everyone knows I love a sing song.
If you can't see the video above then you are missing out on the greatest singing you will ever hear in your entire life, ever. CLICK HERE
On the car ride home I discovered that Laura owns the worst pair of earmuffs known to man.
She then started yammering on about Glee, so they came in handy.
I didn't hear a single word, plus my ears were pretty warm.
Fooking hell that was a pretty long blog entry wasn't it?
Didn't mean for it to be that long.
I wonder if anyone will actually read all this shite.
Jonny Mountain recently said that he doesn't like the shorter blog posts I write, but I couldn't tell whether or not he was being sarcastic. So Jonny, I hope this post makes you happy. Also do you know that video I put up on you tube of you in the shower? This one!
If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE It got 36 hits within one hour of it being online and I hadn't told anyone about it yet. You're so popular!
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe." If you do subscribe I will come to your house and do the whole dance to "Firework" by Katy Perry.
