I haven't blogged properly in ages. Sorry about that. But for anyone who's gives a shit about little old me, here's an update.
I've been pretty busy, but it looks like all my hard work is nearly over. As far as school is concerned anyway. All my paperwork has been handed in, and all that remains is to finish editing my final project.
My final film is called Suburbia University, and is a series of four short stories set within a fictional university. I'll be honest with you, it's not particularly good. I was let down more than once by actors and equipment booking, so my final project has been some what rushed. The really annoying thing is, this is the one I'll get assessed on, all my other projects essentially don't matter. They don't get assessed. This is something I didn't know at the start of the year, which has pissed me off a great deal. I spent a lot of time and effort on my other projects and as a result of that, I had to rush through my main feature. There are people in my class who have just made ONE film this year, some of which are still actually filming, and they are gonna get the same qualification as me. I have made FOUR films! (Five if you count my island film.) It all seems very unfair to me, but I had a good couple of years at school and for the most part I enjoyed my life as a mature student. With any luck I'll be finished the editing on this film by Friday and assuming all my paperwork is fine, that'll be me done.
My film from last year (as well as several other great student films) is gonna be shown at the Belmont Cinema in Aberdeen, if you're reading this then you're more than welcome to come, CLICK HERE for details. There will be a night out afterwards and I plan on partying for the following three days!
In the mean time, all is well with me, I'm off to London with Laura for a few days at the end of June so I'm looking forward to that. I have a couple of projects to keep me amused over the rest of the summer. I'm still looking for someone to design a book cover for me. Let me know if you're interested.
In other news, I got a job! I had an interview last week and I have accepted the position as head of sales for a local food company. So that's nice. It's not a job in TV which is what I have been studying for the better part of two years, but it's a job. Which is a rare thing these days. It's a regular job, a Monday-Friday 9-5 job, which is something I've never had before. I'm starting off on basic pay so I'll be staying on part time at Vincents and The Club, for a wee while anyway.
So don't worry, I'm sure I'll be keeping you entertained with stories of the the drunkards I encounter on a regular basis.
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email.
If you do subscribe then I will weave you a pair of trousers made of solid gold!
Several weeks ago, I was working. It was another busy night at Vincents, and service was in full swing. It was busy, not jam packed, but busy. We were in the middle resetting the restaurant for the next sitting, and everyone was running about, a lot. Everyone except for one employee. This particular employee was in the kitchen helping herself to a bread roll. This irritated me for two reasons.
1: We were busy trying to reset the restaurant and this waitress decided to not help out, and just stop and have a snack.
2: Staff are NOT allowed to help themselves to bread rolls.
If they want something to eat that's fine, but ask. Don't just help yourself! Someone people come to the restaurant straight from another job, and so have no time to eat themselves, that's fair enough. If a staff member comes to me ands asks for something then I will always try and accommodate them, but don't just help yourself. This particular rule was discussed at a staff meeting just three weeks prior to this incident. So this waitress had clearly decided to ignore the rules. I said to her, in a rather firm tone of voice,
"You're not allowed to eat bread roles."
Now, when your boss catches you doing something you are not supposed to be doing, you apologise and get on with whatever needs doing. This waitress did not respond in the correct manor.
"Andy, this is my first and last bread role today."
I then raised my voice to a slightly louder volume,
"NO! YOU DO NOT HELP YOURSELF TO BREAD ROLES! NOW GO AND DO SOME WORK PLEASE!"
I then took the bread role away from her, and threw it out.
Several minutes later I was quite busy at the till, cashing off several bills, organising change, and trying to manage the staff. This waitress then approached me and told me not to talk to her like that ever again. I explained to her, that I am her boss, and she should not talk back to me, if your boss gives you into trouble for doing something wrong, you apologise and get on with your job.
Clearly this waitress disagreed with that policy, stating that:
"This is not my first job, and it won't be my last. So i'm quitting tonight."
To which I replied,
"Fine. You can pick up your wages at the end of the week. Goodbye."
After leaving the restaurant, she then sent a text message to the owner saying that I screamed at her in front of customers, I slapped her and that I am pathetic and have serious anger management issues. She offered to work the rest of her shifts for the week but refused to work with me again.
I had already covered her shifts with other, much better staff members.
This really pissed me off, she blatantly lied about what happened, and she bothered my boss, who she knew was on a night out. Is there any need?
Once I heard about the text she sent to my boss, I sent her a text of my own.
From: Andy G
To: Former Crap Employee
Good afternoon. For your information I did not slap your hand. I simply took away the bread roll you had been instructed not to eat. When your boss gives you into trouble you do not talk back. You apologise and get on with your job. At the time we were busy with reset. If you were on food and there was no food to go out, you find the duty manager and ask what to do. This has been clearly explained to you more than once. Most recently at the staff meeting. I do not have any anger management issues. I just prefer it when the staff do a they are told. This is how society works with employment. Employees follow the instruction of management. If Vinnie had told you to stop eating the bread roll, would you have had the same answer? I suspect not.
Regards,
Your "pathetic" former boss.
From: Crappy Former Employee
To: Andy G
Glad you text me andy because I forgot to tell you to fuck off before I left and now that I have your number I have the chance I hoped I will. You did slap my hand don't lie to me cause I was there remember? Say this lie to Vinnie to keep your job. Vinnie is a nice man that would never act the way you did, you're just a sad person. Now go fuck yourself and don't text me back, had enough of u already.
From: Andy G
To: Former Crap Employee
How childish. Good bye and Good Luck.
Telling a lie to keep my job? I think not. And if she thinks that Vinnie (the owner) would be nicer to her than I was, then she really doesn't know him half as well as she thinks she does.
I very much look forward to the day that her new employer calls and asks for a reference, cos it sure as hell won't be the owners who'll be writing it.
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then you are a much nicer person than my former employee, which wouldn't be hard.
So for the past few weeks I have been enjoying a more regular working schedule. I barely worked from just before christmas until near the end of January, and finances took a bit of a hit. Lately I have been working in The Club more often. I much prefer working in the restaurant, but I will go where I am told like a good little monkey.
Here are some of the other highlights of nights in The Club.
It was a student night, a very busy student night. Over 600 people in the building. And the drunken students were being there usual drunken selves. The end of the night couldn't come fast enough. And when 2 am eventually arrived, the inevitable queue at the cloakroom ensued. 600 people all trying to get their jackets at once, it's chaos. It's like that every week.
One girl (who looked a little bit like Missy Piggy) even said to me,
Miss Piggy Girl: This is ridiculous, it's like this every week you know.
Andy: I'm sorry, theres nothing I can do.
Miss Piggy Girl: Well that's not good enough, it was exactly the same as this last week.
Andy: Well you really should have known better and got your jacket earlier then shouldn't you?
Dozy cow!
Regular readers will know how much I hate name droppers. This is a prime example of name dropping back firing.
About 30 seconds after this conversation, a slightly older man approached me, attempting to go upstairs to use the toilet. Upstairs was closed so I of course told him no. To get to the downstairs toilet, he would need to somehow make his way through the massive queue for the cloakroom that was currently blocking the corridor to the mens room.
He asked if I could get him through the queue. I asked him how he thought I could accomplish this any better than he could. All he had to do was say excuse me to a couple of people, but to him this was apparently an impossible task. He then asked again to get upstairs,
Drunk Guy: Why can't you let me upstairs?
Andy: Because we're closed up there and I have staff counting money so I can't let you up.
Drunk Guy: Look! I used to be entertainments manager here, I know Vinnie very, very well.
Andy: Ok.
Drunk Guy: Well?
Andy: Well what?
Drunk Guy: Are you going to let me up to use the toilet?
Andy: No, I told you, I have staff counting cash upstairs, I don't know you. You're a stranger to me. You could be a nutter, or a robber.
Drunk Guy: I told you, I use to be entertainments manager in this building and I know Vinnie very, very well.
Andy: I see. Let me ask you, when you were entertainments manager here, how many times did someone try to get away with something by name dropping Vinnie to you?
Drunk Guy: What? What do you mean?
Andy: When exactly were you entertainments manager here?
Drunk Guy: 2006.
Andy: Really? 2006? That's odd. Because in 2006 I was the restaurant manager upstairs. And I was working in this building 6 days a week. Both in the restaurant and The Club. So don't you think it's odd that we never met? We should have crossed paths at some point surely?
He then walked off in a huff.
Prick.
Then, last Saturday, it was a salsa night in the club. It's not very exciting. They get a lesson for an hour then it's a salsa disco. Some people take it very, very seriously. It's like watching strictly come dancing but with twats. Actually, its just like watching strictly come dancing. Just no Brucie.
The night starts at 9pm, and at 8:30 the doorbell rang. I went to open the door expecting to find a staff member trying tog e in, or maybe the DJ to get set up. What I found was a woman who looked like an ugly Billie Piper who was apparently desperate to get in.
Andy: Hello, can I help?
Ugly Billie: Yeah, I'm here for the salsa lesson, I'd like to come in.
Andy: Sorry. That doesn't actually start until 9.
Ugly Billie: Ok, I'll just have a drink while I wait.
She then attempts to barge past me. And fails.
Andy: Sorry, maybe I wasn't clear, we don't actually open until 9.
Ugly Billie: 9 o'clock?
Andy: Yes.
Ugly Billie: When's that?
Andy: About an hour after 8.
She then shot me the bitchiest of bitchiest looks.
Ugly Billie: What time is it now?
Andy: About half past 8.
Ugly Billie: So how long until I can come in?
Andy: Well if we're open at 9....
Ugly Billie: Yeah?
She had a very blank expression on her face, I don't think her brain could process all the information that was given to her. Obviously I had presented her with far too complex an equation.
Andy: About half an hour.
Ugly Billie: But why can't I come in now?
Andy: Because it's not 9 yet.
Ugly Billie: So?
Andy: Well we don't open until 9.
Ugly Billie: Uh huh.
Andy: You do understand english don't you?
Ugly Billie: Ummmm, yeah of course. We're talking english aren't we? So can I come in now?
Andy: No! We are not open until 9pm. There are no staff here yet, I am still setting up, the DJ isn't even here yet, we will not be open until 9pm.
Ugly Billie: So what you're saying is, I can't come in right now?
Andy: Correct, not for another half hour.
Ugly Billie: Fine then, if you don't want my money. Fuck you!
She then walked off into the night, presumably to the nearest bar and had an equally confusing conversation with some poor barman about the price of a blue wicked and an aftershock.
Fooking people.
So there you have it, three pretty boring and pointless conversations that take up my time as a busy restaurant/night club monkey.
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then if you ever come to Vincents for dinner I will buy you a complementary shot. And I'll have one too. Maybe two or three.
This christmas at Vincents went rather well.(For the most part.) We had a good team, and we all worked very hard. We had several staff that were only christmas temps, but they were also very good. On one particularly busy day I even roped in four of my classmates to come and work for the day.
During the christmas period, one slight problem I had was trying to remember peoples names. There were a lot of new faces, and it was very busy, so very little time for deep and meaningful chats to get to know them. At one point we had three girls called Caroline working on the same day, so when I asked,
"Where's Caroline?"
It just led to confusion.
Thankfully I am a genius, how that restaurant copes without me on a daily basis I honestly don't know.
I gave people nicknames.
It was just easier than remembering real names, especially in the case of the Carolines.
So Caroline One became "Sparky"
I'm not really sure why, I thought it was a great nickname.
I was struggling to think of a semi decent nickname for Caroline two, then we had the following conversation.
Caroline Two: Andy, the woman on table 14 want's pineapple juice.
Andy: We don't have pineapple juice.
Caroline Two: We don't have pineapple juice?
Andy: Correct.
Caroline Two: So there is no pineapple juice in the building.
Andy: That's right.
Caroline Two: Are there any pineapples?
Andy: What? No.
Caroline Two: So there are NO pineapples in the building?
At this point I should point out that we were incredibly busy, I was running about like a mad man. But I found this conversation to the funniest thing that had ever happened to me, ever. This was probably due to my lack of sleep, combined with the ridiculous amount of Red Bull I had been drinking. It was at this point that Caroline Two earned her nickname "Pineapple."
However, the next day Pineapples nick name evolved. Obviously with it being Christmas we had turkey on the menu, and with turkey you offer cranberry sauce. So every time turkey goes to a table someone has to go round with a small dish of cranberry and offer it to whoever is having the turkey. And for some reason, I don't know why, every single time that day whenever turkey went out, it was Pineapple who was dishing out the cranberry. She became the cranberry girl that day. I did consider simply changing her name to Cranberry, but then I had a brain wave. Mix it up! You have Pineapple, and Cranberry, it's a mixture of fruits, it's Tutti Frutti!
And so Caroline Two, who became Pineapple, became Tutti Frutti. And within an hour that had been shortened to Tutti.
There was some talk of suing me for sexual harassment for this. I can't see why though. I have offered time and again to have sex with almost all of the waiting staff, for free. I would not charge them for this privilege. Yet none of them have taken me up on the offer. Yet.
I should probably tell you, dear reader. That I have recently started seeing someone/going out with someone/dating someone (whatever it is you crazy kids say nowadays. By someone I mean a girl. A girl who has probably just read the above paragraph and gone in a little bit of a mood. So for legal reasons I should point out that the above paragraph was written purely in jest. I have never engaged in sexual relations with anyone under my employ. I don't dip my pen in the company ink.
They always turn me down.
(Another jest.)
As I said we had three Carolines working on one particular day, Caroline One became Sparky.
Caroline Two became Tutti.
Caroline Three remained Caroline. (She was just a one day employee.)
Another nickname that emerged from Christmas was the one given to Laura S.
Laura usually works in the Club downstairs, but since we were so busy in the restaurant we put her hard to work serving tables. Her and her friend Katie work well together. Although I'm not sure if they actually like each other. Laura was constantly trying to get me to call Katie "fat." This is something I would never do as I have learned from experience never to call a woman this. It always leads to trouble. And usually a slap. Or a punch. Or a punch from her boyfriend. Who is angry as he has just realised that his girlfriend really is fat! Sorry for breaking that illusion pal.
Anyway, Laura S was constantly trying to wind up Katie. Katie said she was used to it because Laura S is basically the bitchiest of all her friends. Laura S seemed to take this rather well, in fact she seemed quite proud of the fact that she had been labelled a bitch.
And on that particular day, we had two Laura's working, Laura S and Laura V. So another nickname was in order. One that was accurate, and honest. Like a military nickname.
I came up with BitchFace.
Which she seemed rather chuffed with. So for the rest of the festive period, and possibly for the rest of there lives.
Caroline One became Sparky.
Caroline Two became Tutti.
Caroline Three remained Caroline.
And Laura S became BitchFace.
I am very proud of my nicknaming skills.
Although they can get you into trouble.
Last week I was having a wander around town, checking out the january sales, day dreaming about actually being able to afford anything. When I saw BitchFace, she was walked right past me and ignored me when I said hi. It seems that Bitchface was a very accurate nickname. I shouted after her, she again ignored me. I was a little annoyed, how dare she ignore me like this! I walked after her, tapped her on the shoulder and said,
"Hey! Why you ignoring me BitchFace?"
She turned round and DID NOT look happy,
it was not her.
I had just called a random woman BitchFace, and of course she was ignoring me, she didn't know who I was. All I was, was some random nutter shouting BitchFace in the middle of Primark.
"Shit, I'm really sorry, I thought you were someone else."
And then I ran away.
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then I will give you a nickname!
That is a question. Obviously, that's why it has a question mark at the end of it. That's what that little squiggly thing with the dot means, and if you don't know that then you're a fucking moron. The above question however, is not just any question. It's a question I have been asked a lot lately, and the truth of it is I don't have an answer.
I am planning on applying to uni in Aberdeen and Edinburgh.
There is a course in Edinburgh which is designed for people in my position, who have just finshed an HND in TV. This particular course doesn't even have a first or second year. Anyone who joins automatically goes into the third year of a degree. I am also applying for a course in Aberdeen, but this course is apparently not very hands on, and very theory based, and as anyone who knows me well enough will tell you, I am a bit of an idiot. I am also unsure as to what year I would get entry to in Aberdeen, but apparently I am eligible for funding.
Which is nice.
However, lately I have been weighing up my options.
Is it worth while going to school for another two years?
Can I really be arsed moving back to Edinburgh?
Should I simply try and get a job after I get my HND?
This has been on my mind for a while now and with my HND only 6 months from completion I am somewhat lost. I am tempted by the Uni option, but if I'm honest with myself, I'm not good enough to go to uni. As I said before, I am a bit of an idiot. But at least I know I'm an idiot, a lot of people out there are blissfully unaware of their own stupidity.
Fucking Morons!
I have the option of looking for a job after I get my HND but I am highly doubtful I will find a decent job with only an HND behind me. I have heard stories of previous graduates from the institution of further education which I attend, going on to great things. However I believe these are the exception and not the rule. For every person who leaves and gets a dream job, 15 people are unemployed, or working in a shop.
Maybe it is time to simply accept my fate. Stop pissing about and just get a boring job.
But what would that job be?
To be honest I am qualified for very little.
I could go back to the restaurant world, but I don't think I could handle it anymore. I hate the public. I hate having the same repetitive fake conversation over and over. I don't really care if they enjoyed the meal or not. When someone tells me to say thank the chef, I always say I'll pass it on, I never do. When someone complains and I apologise for whatever went wrong, I don't really care.
I used to.
I used to take everything I did at work so personally, maybe that's when I was semi good at my job. But then I got sick of it. I think it was living in New York that changed me. The people there beat the good humour out of me. (Not literally, I wasn't actually beaten.) On guy actually did threaten to beat me up once, purely because his burger was underdone. I charged him for it because he informed me it was underdone after he had eaten it. He then threatened me. Over a burger? WTF? (That means What The Fuck!)
So come June I honestly do not know where I will be or what I will be doing, all I do know is that school will be done, and maybe, so will I.
I've just re-read that last sentence, it sounds like I'm gonna kill myself or something. Don't worry, I'm not. I just mean done with further education.
I have little to no chance of getting a job in Aberdeen with my HND, and I'm not even sure if I want a job in this industry anymore.
The TV industry is on it's arse, and it's not expected to get any better any sooner. And since I'm being overwhelmingly honest, I'm not that talented.
So what's the plan for when I'm finished college?
I have no fucking idea!
So stop fucking asking!
Fucking hell that blog post was a bit of a downer eh?
If you can't see the video above thens top reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
P.S. Did you see the image I put at the top of this blog post?
This one:
I found it doing a google image search, I searched for the phrase "Whats the plan?" Do you know what was number 23 in the results for searching for that phrase?
This:
WTF?
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to http://www.theblogofandyg.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then when I do figure out my plan for the rest of my life you will be the very very first person I tell in the whole wide world! Honest.*
So Christmas is over for yet another year, well it is for me anyway. Christmas at Vincents this year was not overly difficult.
Which was nice.
I only once reached the point of nearly quitting, which is impressive for me. Especially considering what happened last year.
I worked a lot this Christmas, which I'm hoping will give me enough money to get by for the next few weeks, as I plan on working very little. Partly due to laziness and partly due to school work.
So now i'm done with working for a few weeks, all I have to do now is get drunk and take it easy. My family don't like me, so I don't need to worry about things like buying presents or helping with Christmas dinner as I have not been invited round. I find this makes christmas a lot more relaxing.
So I shall spend this christmas just as I did the last, drunk in my house, with a bacon sandwich, several bottles of wine and the Doctor Who Christmas Special.
I'm the livin the dream!
A pretty sad, pathetic dream, but it's still a dream none the less.
Here are some of the highlights of my December.
It was Friday afternoon, and Friday's are busy in the restaurant in December, we do three sittings a day with at least 150 people a sitting. We had just started our second sitting of the day and well over 100 people were sitting down trying to order drinks. A slightly older woman came in and said,
"Hello I'm with Sandra, where is she?"
"Sorry who?" I replied
"Sandra."
"Which company is she with?" I asked.
"I don't know, I'm with Sandra, don't you know Sandra?"
"Sorry ma'am all I have are the names of the people who booked the table and I don't have a Sandra, is she with Oil Company 1, Oil Company 2 or Oil Company 3?"
"I don't know, what about John? Is he here?"
"I'm sorry ma'am, as I said all I have is the company names and the people who booked them, we have nearly 200 people coming in this afternoon and I don't know them by first name."
"Well that's not very good is it?"
She then stormed off in a huff.
Bitch!
The next sitting that day I had a similar encounter, a younger guy came in
"Hello sir, what party are you with?"
"I don't know, I'm looking for people I know, do you know where they are?"
"Well who are they sir?"
"They're my friends. Never mind, I'll find them."
He then spent the next 5 minutes looking around the room to try and find them, then got a phone call to say he was in the wrong restaurant.
Muppet!
And then, once again, my nemesis returned to the restaurant.
Teachers.
I fucking hate teachers when they come in to the restaurant. I was promised after last year that they would not be allowed back. And they shouldn't be, 98% of them are fucking cunts!
Teachers always make the worst customers, I am sorry but it's true. I realise that there are exceptions to this rule, but it is true the majority of the time. Teachers constantly complain, demand special attention and just ruin the atmosphere, both for the staff and the other customers.
This particular bunch of teachers came from a local secondary school, they asked if they could pay for drinks individually, which just isn't practical in our restaurant. We have a service bar, not a public bar. I explained to them that there would be one drinks bill for the table, it was itemised so you could see exactly what had been ordered.
They seemed to think this was not good enough, some of them had rounds going on with each other. And they said that some people would not put in the right amount of money and say they did not drink these things. I suggested that if this was the case they should consider dining with a better class of person.
They simply could not understand how to sit down and have dinner like fucking grown ups. Perhaps it comes from spending so much time with children?
I once again explained that I cannot spare a staff member to constantly be running back and forth with change for people and that this really is the simplest way to do this.
Someone chimed in by saying,
"But what if people aren't drinking?"
"Well then you don't put as much money in. I honestly don't understand the confusion."
"We didn't come here for a maths lesson!"
"Errmm, it's really not that complicated, aren't you teachers?"
"Yeah but we're not all math's teachers!"
"Yes but you are all teachers, presumably you have a pretty decent education, sense of maturity, intelligence and the ability to count?"
This particular teacher just looked at me confused by what I had said.
They then complained about not getting money back for the people who did not turn up. I explained that it does clearly state in the terms and conditions that the money is non refundable. They complained again. It turns out Vinnie (the owner) actually knew one of them, and as a gesture he gave them two bottles of wine.
They then demanded MORE free wine. I pointed out that they were not entitled to anything and that was a gift. They then bitched some more. One woman in particular actually attempted to threaten me by saying that the whole table was going to get up and leave. I pointed out that they had already paid and if they did leave at that point all that would do is make my night a lot easier. She quickly shut up. The same woman approached me later, again trying to get something for nothing and she said they will not be back next year, to which I replied,
"I certainly hope that's true."
She looked a little shocked at my honesty, and asked for my name, I gave the standard response,
As the party was leaving one guy came up to me and said,
"For the record, that bill took 33 minutes to sort out."
He was clearly trying to have a dig at me, I replied with.
"Why? It's not particularly difficult."
He said I should have let them pay at the bar. I again told him that was not possible and that I do this three times a day, everyday for the whole month of December (a slight exaggeration) and I have done for the past five years. I also pointed out that every other table has managed to do things this way just fine.
He then stormed off in a huff.
Moron!
I very much look forward to receiving the inevitable letter of complaint that will come from these bastards and replying to it in a very frank and honest manner.
Last Saturday myself and the staff decided to have a well earned piss up. After work we all headed down to The Club and drank, and danced, then drank some more. One of the highlights for me was when Fiona the waitress came up to me and shouted
"LOOK WHAT I FOUND!"
She was holding a half full bottle of Rose wine, and then proceeded to down it.
She's a classy chic.
Here's a video of us on the dance floor, my favourite part is when Gillian starts lunging.
If you can't see this video then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE
When we eventually got home, Althea wanted to make snow angels in the garden, I have no memory of this, but according to this video, I locked her out of the house
If you can't see the video above, you're a moron! Stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.
The next day Althea and I went to town with the intention of getting a burger and doing some christmas shopping. While we were en route to town Althea came out with some truly brilliant sentences, Which I have recorded here.
"I think my head is going to fall out!"
Althea: Give me smints.
Andy: I just gave you smints.
Althea: Give me more.
Andy: Why?
Althea: To concentrate on so I'm not sick.
Andy: Fair do's.
A short time later we were on a bus en route to town for some much needed hangover food. The bus then started making very strange noises and we were both convinced it was about to explode. So Althea turned to me and said,
"Andy, if we die on this bus, I'd just like to say....... You're a spaz!"
Suffice to say the bus did not explode and we did not die.
And so ends another Christmas season in the life of a restaurant monkey. I sincerely hope that this will be my last christmas at Vincents, in 6 months time I will be done with school and most likely working in RS Mccoll. I bet they have an easier time at christmas.
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
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