How's it goin?
This is the story of a not very interesting evening at Vincents several months ago.
It was a quiet night, which these days is kinda the norm. We had about 40 people in. It was myself and three waitress's working. Generally being the lazy git that I am, I tend to do very little work. The waitress's will vouch for this. I make sure everything runs smoothly, check to make sure everyone is happy and if someone complains and asks if I'm the manager I always give the same answer.
"No. I"m not the manager, I'm just in charge right now."
It's very relaxing.
Also if anyone ever wants to make a complaint about me, I use a trick I learned from my days at Tapas Towers.
I tell them my name is Phil.
Anyway as I was saying, on this particular night it was myself and three waitress's on duty, now I'm not on duty during the day so I turn up at 5pm and just start service, I organise nothing. Which is why the bar was once again not stocked up and the wine list was entirely inaccurate.
A table of 8 women had ordered two bottles of a South African Sauvignon Blanc that was out of stock, I went over and explained that we were out and that the wine list was wrong. They said that's not good enough and I simply agreed with them.
"You're absolutely right ladies. It's not good enough, it should be marked on the wine list. But I didn't know it was out of stock until you just ordered it."
"Are you the manager here?" A fat woman asked.
"No ma'am. I'm just in charge tonight, I take no responsibility for the restaurant other than getting you fed tonight and locking the door when I go home."
"What's your name?" She asked.
At which point another woman at the table chimed in with,
"That's strange, because last time I was here, your name was Andy."
"That's my brother."
I don't think they believed me, but I gave them a decent deal on a much better wine than what they had ordered so they seemed to be liking me.
Which is understandable.
I am a miserable git most of the time but when I turn on the charm I can be the cheesiest of cheesy waiters.
So I got them two bottles of much better wine at an incredibly cheap price and started pouring for everyone. I went round the table checking that they actually wanted wine and poured them a glass. Then I came to one woman who was reading the menu. I asked if she was having wine and she ignored me. I asked again and she continued to ignore me.
I then basically shouted "Hello!"
Not in a rude way, just in a trying to get her attention kind of way. Still she ignored me. What a bitch! I left her glass empty and continued to pour for the other ladies.
When I got round to the other side of the table the woman who ignored me lifted up her glass and demanded it be filled.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I did ask but you didn't say anything so I assumed you didn't want any wine." I said rather smugly.
"I didn't hear you. I'm deaf." She replied in her deaf persons voice.
I poured her her glass of wine and then announced,
"Well as I said ladies if you need anything else, my names Phil."
I never returned to the table.
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
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