Friday, 27 November 2009

Rest in Peace my friend


Hows it goin?

Now I'm sorry to do this here, but I need to get all serious on you for a bit.

A friend of mine died a few days ago.

I'm gutted.

I knows it stupid but I want to write a little something about the whole experience here.

As many of you know I moved back to aberdeen about 3 months ago. I'm now living in a 1 bedroom flat on my own. I won't lie to you, it gets kinda lonely at times. It was the first day I actually spent living here, near the end of August. It was then I met my neighbour. It's weird, I haven't really spoken to any of my neighbours anywhere I've lived for years, it was nothing deliberate, I'm sure they were all very nice people, I just never met them. But, when I moved back to Aberdeen, I thought its time for a change. Its time to get to know people better. So I went and introduced myself. Over the next 3 months we formed a pretty good friendship. Quite often we would have very interesting chats about Wispa Golds and why they are limited editions? Will they bring them back after there gone? how long will it take? We also talked quite extensively about beer. My old flatmate Richard got me a few bottles of Bitter & Twisted ale for my birthday last year. Its brilliant. Its def in my top 5 beers. I was round at my neighbours one day and I couldn't believe my eyes. There was about 10 bottles in his fridge. I couldn't believe it. Surely this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. We discussed many different beers over the next couple of months. In fact it would seem alcohol was very much a recurring theme throughout our friendship. I partially blame this friendship for me becoming more of an alcoholic these days.

Anyway, a few weeks ago my friend got some bad news.

Some really bad news.

And then, just a few short days ago.

That was it.

The end happened.

It's fucken scary. Things happen so quickly.

I will miss you dear friend.

I was looking though my computer and found a recent picture


Oh dear wine shop,
you've been a good friend!
You have been top,
right to the end.
Oh dear Wine Rack,
I will miss you.
I want you back,
with offers like 3 for 2!
Goodbye my friend,
you will be missed.
thats the end
now I'm off to get pissed.

Thats all for now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

P.S. here's a short film about beer featuring the drunkards that are, the QE 2 Crew......

As always if you can't see the videos on this site then stop reading this shite on facebook and click here

If you want to subscribe to all the shite I write and get it delivered straight to your inbox, then go to and put your email in the wee box that says subscribe.
If you don't then I will cry like a little girl.
If you do I'll let you watch.

Thursday, 26 November 2009

I forgot the chicken hat!


Hows it goin?

I thought I'd give you a round up of news in the World Of Andy G.

Not much is happening to be honest.

I still have no idea where or even who my future wife is.

I also am no closer on discovering the where abouts of Dave Bailey.

On the upside I think Althea has cheered up.

Don't worry, I'm still a miserable bastard, so the universe is still in balance.

Its been a busy week at school, I've got deadlines in place for my creative project and to be honest its been stressing me out.

I am planning to do a short film set in a restaurant.
Over the past 3 weeks the original idea has changed approximately 27 times.

It was originally a mockumentary set in a restaurant, (think The Office, but in a restaurant)

Then it became a mockumentary with a musical element (think The Office, meets Flight Of The Conchords but in a restaurant)

Then it was a sketch show, (Think The Office, meets Flight Of The Conchords meets harry enfield and chums but in a restaurant)

Then it became a mockumentary set in a restaurant where all the characters have to communicate through rhyme and song.

I quickly discounted this idea, because it was incredibly shit!

I wrote a script for what in my mind was to be a pilot episode of my origonal idea, the restaurant mockumentary, my project has to be between 5-10 minutes long. My script was 27 pages long.
I wrote a rough outline of 6 or 7 episodes of this potential tv show and decided to take a stab at scripting episode 2 with a view to it being much shorter.

Well I succeeded

Episode 2 was 26 pages long!

After a conversation with my genius class mate Ian, I have decided to take one element out of the script for episode 2 and expand that into a short 5 minute film.
This will, in theory, be much easier and quicker to shoot but still be good enough to submit.
I don't want to give too much away as I plan on hopefully putting the finished film on this blog, thats at least 6 or 7 months away and I don't want to ruin it for anyone. I will however be looking for actors. Anyone fancy a go? I will not be acting in it myself, I will be directing and I fully expect to go mad with power. I may even wear a special directors hat.

Anyone who follows me on twitter or facebook may have noticed earlier today I posted this

I am happy to say I achieved 50% of my goals I set for this evening. Thats pretty impressive eh?
I heard once that a glass of red wine a day is meant to be good for your heart. I have decided to make up for lost time and drinking bottle upon bottle of red wine. I am now one step closer to becoming a fully blown alcoholic.

The first proper draft of my script is not due for another couple of weeks, so I've got plenty of time to write it. Just now it only really exists in my head, and thats a pretty safe place. There's fuck all else up there.

In other school related news, something interesting happened on wednesday, Wednesday afternoon we have Law and the communication industries. I remember this class from the last time I went to college in 2000.

I hated it!

Mainly because it was at 8:30 on a monday morning. I mean come on!! Thats mental eh? I also hated it because the lecturer was incredibly dull, he was around 100 years old and spoke in the same monotonous tone throughout his class. This time around I'm actually finding the class kind of interesting. Maybe its cos I'm older and more mature, (warning one of those statements may not be true). After finishing Defamation which I talked about in a previous entry, and having just finished copyright we movd onto our new subject, advertising. I found it quite interesting, mainly because I got a chance to talk about my favourite advert of ALL TIME. The black currant tango advert from years ago, sadly no one ever remembers this advert except for me.
Fortunatly I did a bit of research and found it!

It is the greatest advert of all time, and if you say its not, your wrong.

During the class I also heard what would become the quote of the day for Wednesday.
The teacher had just went through a powerpoint presentation of advertising rules and regulations and the trade descriptions act. And as per usual most of the class was not paying attention. She went round the class and asked various questions on the presentation we had just seen. Obviously we were meant to be taking notes, but not everyone did.
she asked one of my classmates

"so why do we restrictions in advertising?"
to which he replied

"umm, well its obvious isn't it?"

I thought this was ace, because it is obvious. I plan on using this when it comes to our next exam.

My time table at school changed last week, so now I have fridays off. I rather stupidly told this to my boss, and I am now working at 11am till late tomorrow.


It is now officially the start of Christmas at Vincents, I fucken hate christmas, atho this year it won't be so bad. cos i'm not in charge!!!! I'm just a monkey, its fucken ACE!

The christmas before last, I was manager at Vincents, it was the most stressful time of my entire life. Everyone hated me! The customers hated me because I wouldn't refund there deposits when there numbers dropped, even tho they were told deposits are non refundable. Then there whole table hated me because I had to tell them to leave at 3:30pm when they were specifically told they had to be out by 3:15. And then the staff hated me because I was working them damn hard. That christmas is part of the reason I left Vincents in the first place. After working in New York for 6 months and then my time spent at The Tapas Towers in Edinburgh, I have decided I simply CANNOT return to restaurant work full time. I simply HATE the public, they are just all fucken twats! I was thinking the other day about an incident that happened a few months ago at the Tapas Towers, it is a prime example of why I HATE the public. Ill write a blog entry about it another time, for now I'll simply tease you with the title!


Anyone from the Tapas Towers who still reads this will no doubt be looking forward to that one. I may even do a poem,

and a song!


Also this week, I've been reading lots of other blogs, some of my favourites include Ian S Davidson. He also said in his blog recently,

"One of my favourite blogs is by a guy from Aberdeen and the title is very self explanatory, The Blog of Andy G – The Drunken Adventures of a Mature Student. He writes very entertainingly about his activities. "

How cool is that! I am one his favourite blogs! Hell Yeah!

I'm also loving My friend Richards Blog, its about his life as a stay at home dad Like Father, Like Daughter. His latest entry is about Baby G's first swimming lesson, and an entertaining conversation with a man waiting by the pool.

And one of my inspirations for blogging, Wil Wheaton, his blog is brilliant. You remember Wil Whateon, he played Wesley Crusher in Star Trek The Next Generation .He has now written several very, very good books, has a very successful blog and a very entertaining podcast.

In other news, I heard from Adam the other day. He is off enjoying life on the high seas as an art auctioneer, he seems to be enjoying himself. Altho he did point out I forgot to mention incredibly VITAL from my story about The Drunkest I have ever been!!

While we were in the bar, we noticed what appeared to be a comedy hat in the shape of a blue chicken, it seemed to be sponsored by WKD. I have tried to find a picture of it, but sadly it seems none exist, perhaps the hat did not exist, perhaps it was just a figment our imaginations. I wouldn't be surprised if we were having the same hallucinations. I may be remembering this incorrectly, but I think you had to buy 3 WKD's in order to get a free hat. We really wanted a hat, but couldn't lower our standards enough to drink a blue WKD. Although as I said I'm not entirely convinced we both didn't dream the whole thing up.

I mean come on,

a chicken hat,

a blue chicken hat.

Surely that is the stuff dreams are made of!

Anyway, here's one of the video's I discovered in my old computer the other day, I plan to upload them all over the next few weeks.

By the way, you may have noticed if you click on the links above to any of the tv shows i mentioned it will take you to Amazon, As you may also have noticed its coming up to christmas. Now unlike me, I am sure you, oh wonderful generous reader, I am sure you will be buying lots and lots of presents for your friends and family. If your buying anyone anything from Amazon then if you go to the Amazon site by clicking on one of these links, then i will get a wee bit o cash in my pocket, it will cost you nothing, you don't have to buy the product the link takes you to, as long as you get to Amazon through this site and buy ANYTHING, I will get a small percentage. And if I get enough money I will buy you a wonderful present.* Go on you know it makes sense.

*for legal reason please be aware the present may not meet your standards of wonder

As always, if you can't see the video's in this post then stop reading all this shite on facebook and click here.

Thats all for now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to subscribe to all the crap I write and get it delivered straight to your inbox then go to and put your email in the wee box that says subscribe.
Every time you don't subscribe an angels loses its wings, do you really want that on your conscious?

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Cheer up Althea

Hows it goin?
I am contacting you under grim circumstances.
My friend Althea is in a bad mood

and this simply will not do!

If any of you are on facebook please click here to go to her profile, write something on her profile to cheer her up!

To do my bit I've written her this poem

Cheer up Althea, you stupid woman,
we all get miserable, your only human.
Sorry I didn't mean to be rude,
Thats not the right way, to improve your mood.
Don't be upset, everyone loves you,
don't deny it, you know we do.
I read on facebook, you tripped over your pants,
to cheer yourself up, just do the happy dance.
Don't be upset, we all have bad day's,
maybe your just going through a phase.
take it from me,
my moods are usually bad
but as you can see,
I am quite sad!
Sorry this poem is kinda shit,
but i've been drinking a little bit.
I hope this poem has filled you with cheer.
if it hasn't do you fancy a beer?

I know that poem was very bad, and I know you're a massive Michael Jackson fan, so it seems only right I include this video.
If this doesn't cheer you up I don't know what will.
As always if you're reading this shite on facebook you won't be able to see the video, so click here

Thats all for now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to subscribe to all the crap i write and get it delivered straight to your inbox then click here and put your email address in the wee box marked subscribe.
If you do then I guarantee* you will get a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

*not a guarantee

Monday, 23 November 2009

The Drunkest I have ever been!


Hows it goin?

I was looking for something in my old laptop the other day and I stumbled upon loads of old video's and photo's. Some of which I haven't seen in ages. I'm going to upload them all to my you tube account eventually, but I thought I'd share this one with you.
As some of you may know, I don't usually spend christmas at home. I was away on the ship for 4 christmas' in a row. And the past 3 years I spent Christmas in Edinburgh in Adam's hotel.
Adam was an assistant Manager of a hotel in Edinburgh, this hotel is not open on christmas day, there are no guests there, but a member of staff MUST be in the building for insurance reasons. So for the past 3 years Adam volunteered to do this so he could have Hogmanay off. Very sensible.

So every christmas I travel down, and we spend christmas day with a hotel to ourselves, with free run of the bar. Its pretty cool.We usually have steaks for christmas lunch because we can't cook anything else, (by we, I mean Adam, because I can't cook at all) especially after a few beers. And I get a massive big screen with surround sound to watch the Doctor Who Christmas Special on. Thats one christmas tradition I never miss. The first year I went, our friend Ian came around half 7. The Doctor Who Special

just started and Ian came bursting in saying Merry Christmas and being all happy and cheery etc and I said to him quite sternly,
"Merry christmas, Ill talk to you again in 45 minutes"
And proceeded to ignore him for the remainder of the show.
No offence to him, but as everyone is aware, I am a massive geek and I had been waiting months to see this show!
After Doctor Who, we had a few beers and Ian gave us our presents.

Remote control cars.
He bought us all remote control cars!

It was ACE! we drove them all around the hotel having races.

The following year it was just Myself and Adam, The beer was flowing once more and Doctor who was again brilliant.
The following day, boxing day, is a bit hazy for me, I woke up around 11 ish feeling a bit rough. I headed back to Adam's flat as he had to work for a few more hours. When Adam got home later that day, we went to the pub and to be honest we were both feeling like shit.
We had a decision to make. We had two choices we could either finish these drinks, head back to the flat and put on a dvd and recover, or we could just go fucking mental and get our drink on!

Guess what we decided?

A couple of hours later we found ourselves in Finnegans wake. That was one of my favourite pubs in edinburgh, I was gutted when it burnt down. (I should point out that the pub burning down has nothing to do with this story, it burnt down over a year later, and had nothing to do with me.) Anyway, when we got there we were already a tad drunk. We decided to move onto spirits, we ordered two Vodka Red bulls and for some reason, I still don't know why, It was cheaper to order a double vodka than a single. Now this barmaid may have been lying in order to get us to spend more money, and it worked. We ordered two doubles and then two more, and then two more. After that things really got blurry. I vaguely remember myself and Adam calling everyone who we knew in common. So almost everyone who we worked with on the ship got a call from us, saying merry christmas and how much we love them, etc, etc. Thats the last thing I remember, and I barely remember that.
I woke up the next day feeling terrible. I had very little memory of the night before and no idea what time we left the pub. Sadly I had little time to recover because I had to catch the train home. I packed up my stuff, gave Adam a bro hug and headed off to the the station.
It was on the train, I was incredibly hungover and very bored. I did what most people do who forget to buy a book or magazine to bring with them. I played with my phone. I sent a few texts, I played a shitty game for 10 minutes, then I started to look through all photo's I had taken over the past few months. The camera on the phone was pretty good, it was a Nokia N95, Some of the photo's were quite clear, I was just browsing through them, not really paying much attention when I saw something odd, it was a video, but I had never seen it before. How did this get here? What was happening? Was someone making secret videos of me on my own phone?

Well in a way, yes.........................

If you can't see the video, I've told you before, stop reading this shite on facebook and click here.

Thats all for now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to subscribe to all the crap I write and get it delivered straight to your inbox then Click Here, and put your email in the wee box marked Subscribe.
If you don't then I will put a curse upon thee!!!!

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Riding The Bull (A.K.A. Envelope 5 of 50)


Hows it goin?

Hope all is cool in your little corner of the world, where ever that may be.

Recently a couple of people asked me if all my letters are genuine.
Well they are. I'm not sure how I can prove it. You'll just have to take my word for it.
I promise they are all 100% genuine letters. They all got posted. And all reply's are genuine. Bob's big bus company was an ongoing letter battle which went on for several weeks. Obviously Bob's Big Bus Company is obviously not the real name of the company, it is the name the gentlemen I was corresponding with chose. He was a MEGA guy.

Anyway here is another letter. I have yet to receive a reply. I can only assume it got lost in the post.

Dear Red Bull,

Good day! How are you? I hope your buzzin!

I am writing to you today with a letter of congratulations on your totally awesome beverage! I was first introduced to your drink many years ago but only ever sampled it when mixed with vodka, or Jaeger, or both! In recent years I have been working in the restaurant industry and have come to depend on your beverage to give me a much needed boost to get through the long shifts I stupidly made myself work.

Over the years I have made numerous sightings of the fabled RED BULL-mobile.

I have recently moved house to outside the city centre and was thinking about getting a car. Tell me, how do I get my hands on one of these? Is that a real can of red bull on top? Is it fuelled by red bull? If so I would expect your drink to be far more powerful than simple petrol. Does it give the car wings? Will it hover like the Delorean in Back To The Future - Part 2 ?

As previously mentioned I usually enjoy your beverage while at work, I was most impressed that you offer different size of cans. While at work I usually partake in the largest can (I call it the MEGA BULL!) and this really does make me fly!!

I frequently mention your drink on my Blog ( if you’re interested) this has caused some what of a backlash at times with some of my friends. My friend Althea says that Red Bull is bad for me. Surely this can’t be true?

Something so AWESOME can’t be bad for you?

Can it?

I would be interested in hearing the origins regarding the name of your drink. To the best of my knowledge bulls are not red, unless they have been painted. Have you been painting bulls red on the sly? Is this legal? Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone. Perhaps it comes from a combination of the Spanish bull run and tomato fight?

Can I ask, are you somehow related to the drinks company that produces jaegermeister? Jaeger bombs are a favourite drink of mine when out with the boys, although they are bloody expensive!

If you would allow me, I would like to share a recent personal experience I had involving your drink. The past couple of months for me have been exhausting, I was working in a busy restaurant Edinburgh during the festival, and I’m sure you know how mental that can be. During this time I was also making arrangements to move to Aberdeen(The Place To Be Seen), I had to move the majority of my stuff up north on a very rare day off and live out of a small bag on a friends couch for the remaining two weeks of festival. I was knackered and I drank a lot of your delicious beverage. However, I am sure you are aware moving house is an expensive thing, and the reason I am moving is to become a “mature” student, so cash was a big issue and your drink is not cheap. I was forced to make a very hard decision, to go without Red Bull for the foreseeable future, I just couldn’t afford it.


Something amazing happened. I wandered into a RS McColls in Edinburgh to buy a newspaper and then I saw something truly extraordinary,

Now I know what you’re thinking,

“So what, it’s a four pack of Red Bull, nothing special about that.”

Well you are wrong, there was something AMAZING about this, take a guess how much this cost, go on just take a guess, and don’t cheat and look ahead in the letter.



It was only £3!

£3! That was ace! You should have seen the smile on my face! It’s usually over £1.50 per can. It was like Christmas came early. I dropped the paper I was originally intending to buy (literally dropped it, I just left it there on the shop floor) and grabbed the four pack, held it up high and marvelled at the way the shops florescent lights made the cans shiny metal glimmer.

I was so grateful for this fantastic deal I felt inclined to write you this letter, I even wrote you a poem!

Tonight I will fly,

but I’ll keep my cool.

Tonight I’ll be high,

When I'm riding the Bull!

I’ll finish my juice,

& then I’ll take flight!

I’ll move my caboose,

On this Saturday night.

No time to rest,

I’m working up stairs.

No time to be stressed,

I’m organising chairs.

I was a very happy man,

When in the shop I found

You could buy, 4 times the can

At the cost of only £3.

I hope you enjoyed this letter, and my poem. In conclusion I would just like to say thank you for making such an Awesome drink! I don’t think people take the time these days to say thank you to the big companies! As I said earlier, I do frequently provide you with free advertising by way of my blog and I will continue to do so, including the publishing of this letter and any response you send. Please feel free to provide me with anything you wish to help me advertise your truly outstanding drink. (i:e some cans of Red Bull, a t-shirt, keyrings, a car, etc, etc). I look forward to receiving your response and hope you can answer the questions I asked.

Kind Regards

Andy G

(Red Bull Drinker)

Thats all for now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

I'm Writing this blog while also watching Weird Science . What a movie!


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