Saturday, 14 November 2009

I think I'm getting married

Hows it goin?
Someone commented to me lately that this blog is meant to be "The Drunken adventures of a mature student" and i haven't talked about any drunken escapades lately.
I decided to remedy that.

As some of you will know I recently tried to give up drinking until December.
Well last night I fell off the wagon. Well maybe not fell off, so much as jumped off.
I willfully jumped off the wagon into a pool of drunkenness and it was wonderful.

It occurs to me that I have mentioned the restaurant where I work a few times in the past and no doubt will continue to do so in the future. Just as I did with The Tapas Towers, I feel should give the restaurant a suitable pseudonym, other than "The Restaurant." So henceforth The Restaurant which is good enough to employ me on a part time basis which allows me to take out all my frustrations on all the incredibly stupid customers who I am fairly certain get more irritating as life goes on, shall be known as Vincents. After the owner Vinnie. The owners name is not Vinnie but this is something Adam came up with a few years ago after meeting him. He said he seems like a Vinnie. Which in some respects he does.
So last night was just another fun filled friday night at Vincents, We had a large party of norweigans who took up most of my time. We get a shit load of Norski's in Vincents, I'm fairly certain that we are the unofficial norweigan embassy in Aberdeen. It's good business i suppose but 9 times out of 10 they are always so fucken rude. One guy clicked his fingers at me last night. I asked him if he was looking for his dog and then i left him to it.
Now good reader, you are obviously an incredibly wise and intelligent person, this is obvious because you have chosen to read my blog. Let me tell you this, NEVER EVER click your fingers or whistle to get attention in a restaurant. You will be ignored, or if your not ignored then more than likely something unpleasant will happen to your food.
I have never sabotaged a meal or drink in any restaurant i have worked in, but i know plenty of people who have.
Have you ever seen the movie Waiting. It's brilliant. buy it right now!

It will show what some waiters are really like. I have heard stories from friends about almost identical things that happen in this movie.

Anyway, I digress.

Back to last night.

I wasn't planning on drinking, it just sort of happened. I initially stopped because when Sean was visiting i was drunk every day. So i stopped altogether and life was just dull. so last night after work i thought FUCK IT! lets go get fucked up! This was also inspired by Ian the new manager at Vincents insisting we have a bottle of wine with our staff meal after work, by insisting i mean suggesting. So we drank that between 3 of us and then headed down to the club below Vincents, it was bollywood night. It wasn't very busy but there were a few hotties in, and the girls on the dance floor were going mental! I mean proper mental. I don't mean insane mental, I mean dancing mental (just so we're clear). I talked before about my friend Ian from edinburgh, when he came up to help me move my stuff to aberdeen, I discovered that he's got more moves than my friend Marks bowels after a curry, well sorry mate, I don't think you could keep up with these girls.
So after a couple of ciders (i'm told there less fattening) I decided to head home. But as i was leaving i remembered something, something my partially drunk brain thought was very, very important.
Earlier that day i got a text from my mate Nick asking if I wanted to come round to his house for a few drinks and then head into town. I was forced to say no because i was working, but surely everyone else can't be working. They all have "proper jobs" where they don't have to work on friday nights. I fired off a few texts.
"anyone out tonight?"
The always sarcy bugger Dave simply replied "yes"
I eventually discovered the boys were indeed out on the razz ma tazz and we arranged to meet in Espionage.
Now there has always been a problem with me working in the restaurant then going out after. I might finish work around 11:30 and have a beer or 2 when im done, but by this point all the boys have been drinking for 3 and a bit hours. So when I eventually met them they were all truly buckled and i was only tipsy.
Nick in particular was truly out of it. Nick was out with his fiancee Karen and one of her mates, a blond girl. A couple of the guys were sleazing on her like there was no tomorrow. Goggs at one point seemed quite chuffed with himself when he had been talking to her for 5 minutes straight and she hadn't run away. The look on her face however told another story. Now I don't know if it was deliberate or not, but for some reason, Goggs poured some of his drink down blondies top. No one knows why. He spilt some down her and then turned to face us with a massive grin on his face. He seemed quite chuffed with his actions. I think he may have been trying to initiate some kind of tribal mating custom. I don't think he pulled her, good on him for trying an original approach tho. It was good night, even tho I'm not working as much, i am still not going out enough, this is mainly due to funds, but fuck it. Might as well be like every there student out there and get into shitload of debt. Another highlight of last night was getting to see Drunk Aders, Drunk Aders is perhaps one of my favourite people. He is highly entertaining while intoxicated. At one point during the evening he said pulled me over saying he needed to tell me a secret. I'm always one for a bit of gossip so leaned over, fully expecting him to tell me he's coming out of the closet or he is secretly in love with a goat or something of equal interest.
"i think i'm a little bit drunk."
Well I'm lad he told me because at this point i hadn't noticed, I thought all the struggling to stand up and slurring of words was a medical condition.
by this point it was around 1:30 am, and i was starting to catch up with everyone (drunkenness wise) and i got a phone call. Now its not unusual for me to get a phone call at half one in the morning when you knows as many drunkards as I do, but oddly the number was withheld.
I couldn't hear a thing down the phone. I moved to a quieter area and still couldn't hear anything. it was a bit of a bad line, this added to the fact i was in a night club and i was a tad drunk did not equal an intelligent conversation. I could barely make out what they were saying.
it sounded like a woman, she sounded foreign, but i couldn't tell where from. i asked who she was and the line kept crackling and i couldn't hear her response. I thought maybe it was my friend Caryn from south africa, I havent heard from her in ages.
"CARYN IS THAT YOU?" i screamed down the phone.
I just couldn't make out what she was saying.
I don't think it was her.
i heard her say "Andy Graham" so obviously she has the right number, and i heard her say something about Aberdeen college, thought it was one of my classmates, i shouted a few of there names down the phone but i couldn't hear the response.
I apologised alot and explained i couldn't hear them, i suppose i could have walked outside the club to talk to them in a much quieter place, but bugger that. It was raining outside and i had a drink in my hand.
"I'm really sorry i can't understand you, its a really bad line. If i know you i'm sure I love you very much and i will talk to you again soon."
This seemed to get there attention
I could barely hear her say "you love me?"
I shouted down the phone
"i'm sure if i know you then hell yeah probably love you, but if this is a wrong number then i probably don't, no offence"
and then i am 99% certain she asked if i wanted to marry her.
"that means you'll fuck me right?"
I couldn't hear the response, i can only assume it was yes.
I hope she's not fat.
So i think i said i would marry her. I only wish I knew who it was.
so if my fiancee is out there, maybe try giving me another call, and letting me know your name, and letting me know whether or not you are a minger, if you are then the wedding is probably off. Ill still have the stag do tho. Adam of course would be the best man, he's had the speech planned for years. And I his. The best thing about my speech for Adams wedding is it is almost identical to his eulogy (i think thats how you spell it, im not a eugoogliser).
"I can't believe Adam is married/ is dead" (delete as appropriate)

In other news the hunt for Dave Bailey continues, So far I have learned that he is not in greece and that everyone agrees he is a fucking legend.

Here's one of my favourite songs which i think all the boys from last night can relate to

If you can't see any of the videos on this page then stop reading this crap on facebook and go here

There was no real point to this blog entry, in all honesty i am just killing time while i wait for the Latest episode of Stargate Universe to download, have you been watching it? its fucken brilliant!

Thats all for now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

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