Sunday, 22 November 2009

Riding The Bull (A.K.A. Envelope 5 of 50)


Hows it goin?

Hope all is cool in your little corner of the world, where ever that may be.

Recently a couple of people asked me if all my letters are genuine.
Well they are. I'm not sure how I can prove it. You'll just have to take my word for it.
I promise they are all 100% genuine letters. They all got posted. And all reply's are genuine. Bob's big bus company was an ongoing letter battle which went on for several weeks. Obviously Bob's Big Bus Company is obviously not the real name of the company, it is the name the gentlemen I was corresponding with chose. He was a MEGA guy.

Anyway here is another letter. I have yet to receive a reply. I can only assume it got lost in the post.

Dear Red Bull,

Good day! How are you? I hope your buzzin!

I am writing to you today with a letter of congratulations on your totally awesome beverage! I was first introduced to your drink many years ago but only ever sampled it when mixed with vodka, or Jaeger, or both! In recent years I have been working in the restaurant industry and have come to depend on your beverage to give me a much needed boost to get through the long shifts I stupidly made myself work.

Over the years I have made numerous sightings of the fabled RED BULL-mobile.

I have recently moved house to outside the city centre and was thinking about getting a car. Tell me, how do I get my hands on one of these? Is that a real can of red bull on top? Is it fuelled by red bull? If so I would expect your drink to be far more powerful than simple petrol. Does it give the car wings? Will it hover like the Delorean in Back To The Future - Part 2 ?

As previously mentioned I usually enjoy your beverage while at work, I was most impressed that you offer different size of cans. While at work I usually partake in the largest can (I call it the MEGA BULL!) and this really does make me fly!!

I frequently mention your drink on my Blog ( if you’re interested) this has caused some what of a backlash at times with some of my friends. My friend Althea says that Red Bull is bad for me. Surely this can’t be true?

Something so AWESOME can’t be bad for you?

Can it?

I would be interested in hearing the origins regarding the name of your drink. To the best of my knowledge bulls are not red, unless they have been painted. Have you been painting bulls red on the sly? Is this legal? Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone. Perhaps it comes from a combination of the Spanish bull run and tomato fight?

Can I ask, are you somehow related to the drinks company that produces jaegermeister? Jaeger bombs are a favourite drink of mine when out with the boys, although they are bloody expensive!

If you would allow me, I would like to share a recent personal experience I had involving your drink. The past couple of months for me have been exhausting, I was working in a busy restaurant Edinburgh during the festival, and I’m sure you know how mental that can be. During this time I was also making arrangements to move to Aberdeen(The Place To Be Seen), I had to move the majority of my stuff up north on a very rare day off and live out of a small bag on a friends couch for the remaining two weeks of festival. I was knackered and I drank a lot of your delicious beverage. However, I am sure you are aware moving house is an expensive thing, and the reason I am moving is to become a “mature” student, so cash was a big issue and your drink is not cheap. I was forced to make a very hard decision, to go without Red Bull for the foreseeable future, I just couldn’t afford it.


Something amazing happened. I wandered into a RS McColls in Edinburgh to buy a newspaper and then I saw something truly extraordinary,

Now I know what you’re thinking,

“So what, it’s a four pack of Red Bull, nothing special about that.”

Well you are wrong, there was something AMAZING about this, take a guess how much this cost, go on just take a guess, and don’t cheat and look ahead in the letter.



It was only £3!

£3! That was ace! You should have seen the smile on my face! It’s usually over £1.50 per can. It was like Christmas came early. I dropped the paper I was originally intending to buy (literally dropped it, I just left it there on the shop floor) and grabbed the four pack, held it up high and marvelled at the way the shops florescent lights made the cans shiny metal glimmer.

I was so grateful for this fantastic deal I felt inclined to write you this letter, I even wrote you a poem!

Tonight I will fly,

but I’ll keep my cool.

Tonight I’ll be high,

When I'm riding the Bull!

I’ll finish my juice,

& then I’ll take flight!

I’ll move my caboose,

On this Saturday night.

No time to rest,

I’m working up stairs.

No time to be stressed,

I’m organising chairs.

I was a very happy man,

When in the shop I found

You could buy, 4 times the can

At the cost of only £3.

I hope you enjoyed this letter, and my poem. In conclusion I would just like to say thank you for making such an Awesome drink! I don’t think people take the time these days to say thank you to the big companies! As I said earlier, I do frequently provide you with free advertising by way of my blog and I will continue to do so, including the publishing of this letter and any response you send. Please feel free to provide me with anything you wish to help me advertise your truly outstanding drink. (i:e some cans of Red Bull, a t-shirt, keyrings, a car, etc, etc). I look forward to receiving your response and hope you can answer the questions I asked.

Kind Regards

Andy G

(Red Bull Drinker)

Thats all for now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

I'm Writing this blog while also watching Weird Science . What a movie!

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