Thursday, 12 November 2009

The Legend Of Dave Bailey!

Hows it goin?
Today my friends i wish to tell you tale.
A tale of not just a mere mortal man, but that of a legend.

As many of you know, many moons ago, I began my carer as a restaurant monkey on the floating caravan that was The QE2. While on board I met many different characters and had many adventures.
By adventures I mean I went to the crew bar alot.

It was on this great floating old folks home that I encountered Dave. He drank more than any man I have ever seen! and I know Adam Poole!
Dave was the biggest party animal I have ever seen. He was in every way possible a legend.
There were rumours he got caught shagging a shoppie by security. there's nothing wrong with shagging a shoppie. I only wish I had, but Dave was shagging her in one of the shops at 3 in the morning. As I say this is only rumour.

Dave is also rumoured to of had a threesome with the canadian shoppie with the big boobs, (pictured on the left) and his cabin mate. I don't know if this is true but apparently his cabin mate came in while they were going at it and Dave just told him to join in. Now thats a friendly cabin mate.

Dave sadly left the ship after a deck party in which he streaked in front of the majority of the crew. Everyone thought it was hilarious with the exception of the personnel manager who fired him the next day.
He got sacked while we were at sea so, due to some human rights laws, he was not thrown overboard. But he was confined to his cabin for the next two days.
On his last night on board, myself a few others felt he quite rightly deserved a good send off. So we shoved a load of pillows under his covers & turned off the lights, so when security came to check on him they thought he was in bed. We snuck him up to the bar and got him good and drunk.
Sadly my friends that is where the Tale of Dave Bailey comes to an untimely end.

He's not dead.

Not as far as anyone knows any way.
He left the ship the next day and was never heard from again.
Where is he now?
Some believe he could be in prison.
Some believe he was the chief advisor to George W Bush.
Some believe he was never real, just a figment of our imagination.

Well I have decided its time to track him down, Have you seen him recently? Do you know where he is?
He was last spotted somewhere around manchester, (I think).
I have dcided to start a nationwide search for the Legend That is Dave Bailey.
If you have any information that could lead to the whereabouts of Dave Bailey then please email

A reward will be offered for information leading to the whereabouts of Dave.
This reward will be one pint of your favourite beverage!
so now it is up to you.
Print out the pic of Dave,

Put it on your window, put it on all the lamp posts around your street. Put it up in your local shop, put it up in your local pub, put it up in your local police station, you'll probably find him there.
Lets find Dave Bailey!
Its up to you.

Good Luck!

If you can't see the videos i've posted on this entry then stop reading this shite on facebook and go here
Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

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