Friday, 11 February 2011

The Tale of Last Friday: A big poop, robot pets and the flaming fashion show.


How's it goin? 

And as the weekend approaches, only three more days remain in the retelling of a week in the life of Andy G. Here is what happened last Friday.

Friday February 4th 2011

The morning was something of a wasted morning. Depends on how you look at it.

I didn't actually wake up until noon. So I did catch up on some much needed sleep, but this meant I didn't do anything productive. I then watched all my favourite american TV shows that aired last night in the states. The Office, Parks and Recreation, The Big Bang Theory, 30 Rock and Community. None of these shows have a particularly large audience in the UK, which is a shame as they are all really, really good. Anyway, this took up another hour and a half of my time. 

I decided to try and do something constructive with my day, so I went for a run. I took Grappa The Crazy Killer Demon Dog From Hell with me, as an attempt to be friends. She then thanked me by having the biggest poop I have ever seen in my life. I hate the dog!

Speaking of Grappa, I received this amusing tweet from fellow blogger, Ian. S. Davidson.

I was intrigued, I do hate Grappa, and I do love Star Wars.
This is the link he sent me.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.


How cool a pet is that?

It was another night working in The Club for me. Tonight was a fashion show, followed by a salsa dance night.

I'm not gonna lie to you, it was pretty dull.

I arrived at 6:30 and the place was pretty much ready to go. All the tables and chairs were in position and arranged so the models could do their thing. The organiser also had some of her own candles on the tables. They were small tea light candles in a white ceramic pot, as opposed to our large red candles in a glass jar. They looked kinda nice and added something to the atmosphere of the room.
Twenty minutes later I discovered that the candles were not in a ceramic pot, they were in a PAPER HOLDER!!!


Paper + Candles = Fire!

I ran over to a table that had caught fire, grabbed a beer from a neighbouring table, and extinguished the fire. 
A bottle of San Miguel saves the day again.
Fortunately it was just the candle holder that had caught fire, and not the tablecloth and the whole damn table.
Fooking idiots!

I promptly removed all of the organisers candles and replaced them with our own. She asked me why and I said that we are not keen on burning down the building.

The show took ages, and was not overly exciting, 30 seconds before it started a woman came up to me and asked for the microphone.
"What microphone?" 
Was my response. She just assumed we had a microphone for her, we don't have any mic's in the building, anytime something like this happens they use their own equipment. This woman seemed quite annoyed at me.
Not my fault you're not prepared luv!
After the show came the Salsa night, it was not very exciting, although one guy was spinning on the dance floor faster than I had ever seen anyone spin, ever.
At one point during the evening I saw a couple do that link arms and drink thing.
You know, this thing...
And they weren't doing it ironically. This wasn't an attempt to be funny, they were dead serious every time they did it. And they did it about 10 times. Sometimes two or three times with the same drink. Weirdos.

Around midnight, the bouncer told me that a customer told him that we were open until 2am tonight. I had checked the paperwork for this booking, and I had checked with the organiser before we opened. We were closing at 1am. So where this guy got the idea we are open until two is beyond me. Then I spotted the poster for this event.
And there it was clear as day, 9pm-2am.
Well the organiser woman told me 1am, and the bouncers are paid until 1am, so that's when we're fooking closing.

After what seemed like years, 1am finally rolled around, and the music stopped, the lights went up, and we started cleaning up. All the customers started making their way out, but then one guy demanded to see the manager.

He was going mental!

He just kept shouting that the ticket says 2am, and he paid to stay until 2 am. This isn't fair. I explained that we were simply providing the venue and the posters were wrong and the fault of the organiser, he then demanded I call the organiser immediately. She had, very wisely, left about an hour ago. Presumably because she knew this would happen. I told the guy complaining that she had left but he demanded her number. I refused. He couldn't seem to understand that I was not going to give him, a loud drunkard, the organisers number so he could call her at quarter past 1 in the morning to complain about us closing at 1. He demanded I do something.  I gave him the e-mail address for The Club and told him to send us a message and we would pass it on. That was the best we could do. He then said this wasn't good enough, and he was going to complain about me, he asked for my name an if I was the manager. I gave him the standard response, my name is Phil.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

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