Thursday, 10 February 2011

The Tale of Last Thursday: Washing machines, potential plagiarism and a pack of fluffy condoms?


How's it goin? 

So continuing my series of posts about a week in the life of Andy G, here's the story of Thursday.

Thursday February 3rd 2011

Today was gonna be a slightly annoying day. Last week the washing machine in Campaworld broke down. A new one was arriving today, and not a moment too soon as I was rapidly running out of pants. However, the only information we had from the delivery company was that it would arrive sometime between 7am-8pm. I had school at 3pm that day, so the atmosphere in my house was tense.  Would I make it in? Wouldn't I? 

I didn't.

The washing machine didn't arrive until after 4 o'clock. So I never made it into class. This was annoying but I kept myself busy with some paperwork that needed doing. When the machine arrived I somehow managed to get it all working myself. I am strangely proud of myself for this. To most people the installing of a washing machine is quite a simple task, but I am not most people. Many simple domestic tasks are way beyond my skill set. Things such as hovering and washing the dishes, are far too complex for a slob of a man like me.

After sitting in front of the washing machine watching my t-shirts swirl round for half an hour to make sure the damn thing didn't explode or anything, I headed to town. I was meeting Laura for tea before work, we returned to Henrys. It was once again very good, but sadly this time we received no secret curly fries.

After dinner we headed to Boots as recently I have been feeling full of the cold. Some Lemsip Max was very much needed. As I was browsing the Lemsip section of the shop, I over heard a conversation between a young couple in the aisle behind me. They appeared to be having a very in depth discussion about condoms.

Girl: So which one's should we get?  

Boy: I'm not sure, what's the difference between the red and the blue packets, is it the colour of them? I don't want it to dye my, you know, red or blue. (I can only assume by "you know" he means his knob.)

Girl: Well this one says extra safe.

Boy: Well let's get them then, do they have them in my size?

Girl: It doesn't say.

Boy: It might be too big for me.

Girl: Well what about the red ones.

Boy: What kind are they?

Girl: It say's feather light, does that mean they're fluffy?

Boy: I don't know, let's just buy the blue ones.

They then promptly walked over to the counter to pay for them and sniggered, a lot.

I then headed to work, en route I bumped into a couple of my classmates. I took the opportunity to ask if I missed anything important today.

Apparently I had. 

Several members of the other class doing my course have been accused of plagiarism. Apparently several of them copied one girls essay almost word for word. I do not know how many people are involved or the exact details. But how stupid do you have to be to think you're not gonna get caught? There are only 15 people in the class and all the essay's are being marked by the same teacher.

Fucking muppets.

This is however just a rumour at the moment, I do not know any of the facts in this case, and this all may very well be untrue. In which case I just called a bunch of people some muppets for no good reason. But I don't really care.

Eventually I made it into work and helped to set up The Club. Below Vincents there is a night club, I usually only ever work in the restaurant but lately I've been left in charge of the club more and more. Something I'm not overly keen on. We have a student night every Thursday. It's a pretty good deal, you pay £5 to get in and all drinks are either £2 or £2.50. Pretty decent.

When I arrived I was shown how to set up the DJ booth and the lighting for the night. I have worked in this building for, on and off, over 5 years. And I have always avoided learning this, because once you know it you're stuck with it, it's your responsibility. So it looks like I'm gonna be left in charge of student night a lot more often. This is good news on the financial front as I am very broke, but it does mean late nights and dealing with drunkards. I much prefer he restaurant, people are generally better behaved and you get finished at a much better time. But I will go where the money is.
The following conversation will give you an idea of the type of people who come to student night.

Drunk Student: How much is a vodka?

Andy: Vodka, Gin and Bacardi with a dash are £2, everything else is  £2.50.

Drunk Student: So how much is a Vodka coke?

Andy: £2

Drunk Student: So what about a Bacardi?

Andy: I just told you, Vodka, Gin and Bacardi with a dash are £2, everything else is £2.50.

Drunk Student: What about a beer?

Andy: Is that a Vodka, Gin or Bacardi?

Drunk Student: No.

Andy: And I just told you Vodka, Gin and Bacardi with a dash is £2 and everything else, which would include beer, is £2.50.

Drunk Student: Right

Andy: So how much do you think a beer is?

At this point he appeared to be concentrating very hard, as if every single brain cell in his stupid little head was trying to figure out how much a beer is, even though I just told him. Then after what seemed like an eternity, he said...

Drunk Student: What about a Gin and Tonic?

I walked away and avoided serving anyone else for the remainder of the night.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

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If you do subscribe then I will get you into student night for free at The Club, and buy you a Vodka coke, but only if you tell me how much it would cost.

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