Wednesday, 16 February 2011

The Tale Of The Crazy Waving Man


How's it goin?

I was sitting on the bus home, not really paying attention to where I was, when the bus stopped at the bus stop. As they do. Another bus was at the bus stop on the opposite side of the street and I noticed on the other bus, one of the waitress's from Vincents. I gave her a wave but she didn't see me. I'm not entirely sure why, but for some reason I took great offence to this. 

How dare she not see me when I wave to her from a bus on the other side of the road. 

What a bitch!

I waved more, and more, and more. She still did not see me. Either that or she didn't recognise me and thought I was some kind of nutter who waved at people on buses. Which in all fairness, is what I appeared to be. She did not see me for the whole time I was waving, however the bloke who was sitting three seats behind her did. And he was waving back. He was waving back at me just as furiously as I appeared to be waving at him. He couldn't have been waving at anyone else on my bus as I was the only one on it.

So here I was, in the middle of a "wave off" with a strange man. This man just continued waving. In reality it was probably around 10 seconds, but it felt like hours.

Have you ever waved at a complete stranger for ten seconds straight?

Try it. 

It's longer than you think.

And I didn't even realise, I was still waving. I stopped waving, which seemed to cause great offence to my new friend. He looked angry, and then stood up to get off the bus.

Oh shit!

He was getting off the bus, what if he comes over and sits on this bus. What if I've just initiated some kind of bizarre mating ritual I didn't know about. And it gets worse, the next stop was my stop, the stop right beside my house. I couldn't get off at the stop next to my house. What if he follows me home? What if he follows me home and just stands outside waving?

Oh crap!

I genuinely thought this guy was getting off his bus to come and kill me. 

Or rape me.

Either way it would NOT be fun. 

I saw the crazy waving man get off the bus and cross the road in my direction. Luckily my bus drove off before he could board it and tell me how he wanted to cut off my skin and wear it for his birthday. 
Fooking nutter.

 I stayed on for an extra three stops past mine, just to be safe.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

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