Wednesday, 26 January 2011

A free curly fry, teuchter talk and damn sexy earmuffs!


How's it goin?

I was a bit bored the other day, and I found myself perusing some of my old blog posts. Then I noticed something. In the right hand column of my blog page, there is a section that says,
"Crap I have written about."
It's the labels I put at the end of every blog post, so for example if you want to read about the time I did something embarrassing, you would click on the words "embarrrassing situation". Or if you want to read about one of my many adventures at Tapas Towers, you would click on the words "Tapas Towers"
It's fairly simple, if you don't understand it by now, lets face facts, you're a bit of a moron aren't ya? You really should not be allowed out in civilised society.
Anyway, I noticed that one of the labels says "restaurant reviews." Which is weird. I don't really remember reviewing any restaurants. I clicked on the links to see what crap I had written. I quite often write in this blog while drunk, so sometimes I can't remember what has been written.
When I clicked on "restaurant reviews" I saw all the posts I had written about Mother Tuckers, my post about when Sean The American came to visit and we went to handmade burger, and the letter I wrote to The Manzil.

Since I obviously at one point thought it would be a good idea to do a restaurant review, why not continue with that.

When I worked at Tapas Towers, I remember on more than one occasion, the owner of the restaurant would give away free meals to people doing reviews.
Free meals!
I love free stuff.
It's my favourite kind of stuff.

The problem with having a girlfriend is that you have to go out and do stuff. So I've been going out a lot more than usual. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but it is not good for the bank balance. So I figure if I start reviewing the places I go to eat, eventually someone is going to get in touch and offer me a free meal in exchange for a review.
It's worth a try, and at least it'll give me something to write about.

So to kick off my new blogging feature of restaurant reviews, I'll start with where I had lunch last Saturday.


Henry's is located at
4-6 Exchequer Row
City Centre,

AB11 5BW
01224 582 221

This was Laura's suggestion, here's a pic of her incase you were wondering. This strange thing is, whenever we are out together she always has her hands like that. Weird eh?
Anyway I had never eaten here before but I had some kind of vague recollection that it won some kind of award within the past few years. I can't remember what it was. Something like, best pub in Aberdeen or best pub food in Aberdeen. I am possibly getting that wrong, but I am sure that it won something.
Anyway, if it hasn't won an award it bloody well should do.
It's really, really good.
It's not an overly large place, but it's certainly not small. You don't feel cramped, the tables are nicely spaced. As you can tell from the picture above they have outdoor seating in the summer, but we visited in January and it was bloody freezing outside. They have a pretty decent size menu featuring all your favourite pub foods.
We opted to have nacho's with chilli to share as a starter, which pissed off Laura as she was going to have chilli for her main course.
But to be honest I'm a selfish bastard and don't care! I wanted nachos!
Since I ruined her main course choice, Laura then switched to the smoked haddock fish cakes and I ordered the Steak Pie and chips.
The nacho's arrived after a short time, and fooking hell!
They were massive.
Now I was starving, as was Laura, but I think we both started to fear at the size of the massive bowl of nachos in front of us.
They were awesome tho.
I think we could have easily shared them between 4 people.
That is by no means a complaint, as they were awesome. We finished the bowl quite happily.
Afterwards Laura commented that her stomach is now suitably warmed up. A line I am fairly certain that she stole from Joey in Friends, but I didn't hold that against her.
Since we were both slightly hungover from the night before we were both on the soft drinks. I ordered another Diet Coke (Anyone who has read my book will know how much I love Diet Coke.) while waiting for the main course. The waitress brought over a can and opened it for me at the table. Very classy I thought. I felt like a king. A King who drinks Diet Coke, and who will not open the can himself, for he has people to do that for him.

I am easily impressed.

A short time later our main courses arrived. And they were also fooking fantastic. I had the steak pie which was one of the best I've ever had. Laura also enjoyed her fishcakes which she described as
"Very haddocky."
Given they were smoked haddock fishcakes I'd be concerned if they tasted like anything else. Also I am not sure if Haddocky is a word.

While Laura was enjoying her meal, she made a discovery, a fantastic amazing discovery. While nibbling away at her chips, buried below the fries and in amongst the salad, she saw something. Something amazing.



Everyone knows that curly fries are the king of fries! And Laura managed to get a free one!

Lucky Bitch.

Upon discovering this I rooted through my plate in the hope of making a similar discovery, unfortunately I did not.


This should be seen as a major plus point for Henrys. 

Complimentary curly fry with your meal!

Hell yeah!!

While enjoying our main courses, the TV in the background was on the music channel, and the song "Firework" by Katy Perry came on.
Laura seemed very tempted to get up and dance but she was too hungover. Laura has a very particular dance she does to this song, it basically involves twirling around a lot and flailing your arms around like a kid on a sugar rush trying to do an impression of a helicopter. I shall attempt to recreate this dance for you now.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE. It's awesome, seriously, it's actually the greatest video you will see all day. (Warning this only applies if this is the ONLY video you will watch today.)

After resisting the urge to dance, we both admitted defeat and put down our forks. I admittedly could not finish my steak pie, and Laura did not finish her fishcakes. Both meals were very, very good, just we couldn't finish them. In retrospect the nachos beforehand may have been a mistake.
Laura then commented,

"You're Ian was bigger than your stomach."

I asked here who the hell Ian was? And what has he got to do with my food?
She said that Ian was spelt een. I replied with,

"I don't care how he spells his name, what has he got to do with my lunch?"

Apparently "een" is Teuchter talk for eyes. I have never heard this before and I am fairly certain that she has just made this up. If the Anonymous Teuchter is still reading, can you get in touch? Is she lying? Is "een" teuchter speak for eyes? This is not the first time I have accused her of making up phrases. She once said to me,

"You can't see green cheese."

I have absolutely no idea what this means, but she claims it is a common expression.

Has anyone else heard this?

I suspect not.

I thought maybe she had read all about the sausage cheese incident and was trying to impress me, but got the name wrong. But she argued that everyone knows that saying.

After a lively debate about her making up phrases, the waitress returned and asked if we were wanting dessert. I didn't finish my main course, and neither did Laura, so did we really deserve pudding? 

The answer is no, we did not.

But they had Sticky Toffee Pudding on the menu. Sticky Toffee Pudding is my all time favourite pudding. It was the dessert at Ian's wedding in summer and it was the biggest sticky toffee pudding I had ever seen, I even took a picture of it.

While everyone was busy taking pictures of the bride and groom and all that pish, I was busy taking a pic of my pudding.

I do worry about myself sometimes.

I was pretty much stuffed by this point, but I really wanted that sticky toffee pudding. I had a tough decision to make, I was on the verge of leaving it, then Laura suggested we share. Sharing food is something I never normally do, but then three thoughts entered my head.

1: There is no point in getting one yourself because you probably can't finish the whole thing cos you're so full.

2: She's your girlfriend, so you should probably share to be nice and romantic and all that crap.

3: She is paying.

So we ordered one sticky toffee pudding with ice cream. It was awesome. When the waitress arrived with our sticky toffee pudding, I think it was pretty obvious that she fancied me.
She said to Laura, 

"I wish I could trade places with you."

It's tough being this good looking sometimes ya know.

The meal was pretty awesome, it came to £32.60. Well worth it. At the end of the meal I was incredibly embarrassed as neither of us had any money for a tip. Coming from the restaurant trade I hate it when people don't tip, it's just not on. Especially when people leave you misleading notes. 

I searched my pockets and Laura searched her bag, and we managed to come up with just over £1.50. I do genuinely feel terrible about this and I think I will send them a Wispa or something to apologise for such an inadequate tip, especially considering the service was so good. One thing I was annoyed about, I spotted a sign saying students get 20% discount on food. That's awesome, but I didn't notice this until AFTER we payed.
It was a very good meal and I will def be back, it gets two thumbs up from me.

Fook me, I look like a right mong in that pic don't I? Oh well, I'm far too lazy to go back and change it.

So I would most definitely recommend Henry's in Aberdeen. It's well good. And apparently they do Karaoke some evenings. And everyone knows I love a sing song.
If you can't see the video above then you are missing out on the greatest singing you will ever hear in your entire life, ever. CLICK HERE

On the car ride home I discovered that Laura owns the worst pair of earmuffs known to man. 

She then started yammering on about Glee, so they came in handy.

I didn't hear a single word, plus my ears were pretty warm.

Fooking hell that was a pretty long blog entry wasn't it?

Didn't mean for it to be that long.

I wonder if anyone will actually read all this shite.

Jonny Mountain recently said that he doesn't like the shorter blog posts I write, but I couldn't tell whether or not he was being sarcastic. 
So Jonny, I hope this post makes you happy. Also do you know that video I put up on you tube of you in the shower?
This one!

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE
It got 36 hits within one hour of it being online and I hadn't told anyone about it yet. You're so popular!

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe I will come to your house and do the whole dance to "Firework" by Katy Perry.

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