Friday, 6 August 2010

Top 3 conversations I had on Thursday

Hows it goin? 
The title says it all really.
I promise these are all genuine conversations that I had on Thursday August 5th 2010

Coming in at Number 3

On my way to work, a foreign man came up to me in the street, I have no idea where he was from but he sounded eastern european. He said,"Excuse me can you tell me how to get to zoo from here?"
"Sorry I don't know. I'm not from Edinburgh." I replied
"Are you sure?" He then asked
"I'm pretty sure I know where I'm from."
"So you don't know the way to Zoo?" He asked again
"Do you have friends in Edinburgh?"
"Yeah of course."
"Do you think they know the way to zoo?"
"Probably, but they are not here, you do realise I am just one guy here right?"
"Yes, but you call your friends, they tell you way to Edinburgh zoo"
"Sorry I'm in a hurry. I have to go."
And then I walked away as fast as my big ol legs would take me.

Number 2

At work today, a customer is looking at the wine list.
"Hi folks, have you decided what wine you'd like?" I asked
"Yes I'll have a glass of pinot grigio." she said abruptly
"I'm sorry we don't have pinot grigio, we have..."
"Why not?" she interrupted me
"We only have spanish wines."
"Why's that?"
"Because we are a spanish restaurant."
"So no Pinot Grigio?"
"Sorry no."
"But why?"
"Because it's not spanish."
"Do you have any sancerre?"
"Sorry no, we have a very nice white rioja, its medium dry and very popular."
"No Sancerre?"
"No only spanish wines, we're a spanish restaurant."
"Do you have anything Australian?"
At this point I told her to have a read of the wine list and I'll come back in five minutes.
I then had a remarkably similar conversation with her boyfriend about the lagers we stock. We only sell spanish beers and he tried to convince me that peroni was spanish. Then he tried to convince me that carona was spanish. I ordered him a pint of San Miguel and then never went near the table again.

And the best conversation I had at work today was,

I approach a table of 4,
"Hi folks can I get you some drinks?"
They just stare at me blankly
"Maybe some wine?"
"Espanol?" They ask
"Sorry no espanol." I say shaking my head
They then give me a look of pure and utter disgust, how dare I work in a spanish restaurant and not speak fluent spanish, how dare I even approach them without a basic understanding of the language. I was scum!
At least to them. I tried to communicate but they weren't taking me on.
I said 
"Uno momento por favor."
I walked away and never went back to that table.
Fucking foreigners!

Thats All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

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