Sunday, 1 August 2010

The Anonymous Teuchter responds to allegations that he is fictional.

Hows it goin? 
The Anonymous Teuchter commented on the blog a few days ago regarding allegations that I am making him up. I honestly am not.

A hinnae laught as much since grunny caught her tit in the mungle. Far ti start? Me n ma brither Stovie Dod jist skelped each ither on the side o the heed tae mak sure and wir real a richt, I wint ti bide anon Teuchter bit yi kin dee a bit a sloothin in Kemnay an yi'll figer oot fa Stovie Dod is. Ask aroon the Burnett. Andy, Stovie disnae tranlate in Inglish tae Stevie, his feelins wis fair hurtit bit apairt fae at yir deein a fine job. I've been ca'd a whiter by my Granda and it means wanker or wonker in teuchter. I aye thocht Willie Wonka and his Chocklit factory was a bit o a dooble ontondray (ats Frinch by the way), bit I die gress. So I reckun the feel anon above is nae spring chucken. Efter readin aboot it here we wint ti Wowsie on Munday and how that feel above kin say its rubbish is beond beleaf, damn the bit it wis brill, best sweeties av ivver seen, blaws the al hoor's shop oot the water. Fir whit its wurth wiv hid sanny's fae Crustys and Dublin Dave an baith are fine tho the wifey in Crusy's is mair fun. Baguette Express is a bit samey.

Yir filim wis a laf, wiv a seen tosspot custimers like at. 


A translation:

I have not laughed as much since grandmother caught her breast in the mungle. (Sorry I don't actually know what a mungle is. AG.) Where to start? Myself and my brother Stovie Dod just slapped each other on the side of the head to make sure and we are real alright. I want to remain anonymous but you can do some detective work around the Kemnay area and you can figure out so Stovie Dod is. Ask around the Burentt. Stovie does not translate into english to Stevie. His feelings were hurt. Apart from that you are doing a good job. I've been called a "whiter" by my Grandfather and it means wanker in teuchter. I also thought Willie Wonka and his Chocolate Factory was somewhat of a double entendre (that's french by the way), but I digress. So I believe that the person who called you a "whiter" is certainly no spring chicken. After reading about it on your blog I went to visit Wowzies on Monday and how that person who commented can say it is rubbish is beyond belief. It was brilliant, best confectionary I have ever seen. Blows the old whores shop out of the water. For what it's worth we have had sandwiches from Crustys and Dublin Dave and both are good. Although the woman in Crustys is more fun. Baguette Express is a bit samey.
Your film was funny. We have all seen an unpleasant customer like that.

He is real. I am not clever enough to create a false persona from Teuchterville. Plus I really couldn't be bothered. 

Thats All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

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  1. Mungle?
    Google wringer


  2. A mungle is a mangle, which was an old-fashioned way of ironing your clothes. You'd put your wet clothes into the mangle, and wring it through, and the clothes would come out all pressed and dry-ish...

    One of those things. They have one at Aden Park out by Mintlaw.



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