Monday, 30 August 2010

No More Tapas (again)

Hows it goin? 
My time at Tapas Towers has ended, for a second time. I spent all of August back at my old employers in Edinburgh. I am now knackered. It was the most I have ever worked, ever. It was the busiest the restaurant has ever been since it opened.

For those of you who work in the restaurant industry, imagine the busiest shift you've ever worked. Now double it. Now add 12. It was even busier than that!

This temporary job could not have come at a better time. As regular readers will know I have been broke for the better part of the past year. This was four weeks full time work plus tips. I haven't come out that much ahead as most of this cash went towards paying my rent and various bills. But It's more than I would have made if I stayed in Aberdeen for the summer. I must say a big thanks to my pal Ailsa who found me somewhere to stay while I was down.

This picture was taken about 4 minutes after she finished her shift. Yes that glass of wine on the table was hers. A customer invited her to sit down for a drink and she said it would be rude not to. Strange thing was it was her anniversary. So while her man waited at home with a nice meal ready for her. She sat down with some folk in the restaurant and had a couple of glass's of vino.
Tsk Tsk.

Some of the highlights of my last week in Tapas Towers included a guy with a University of Aberdeen Credit Card, who's name was Robert Gordon.
I found this quite amusing.(Robert Gordons is the name of the other university in Aberdeen)

When serving tapas if two people order the same dish most of the time the kitchen will put them into a larger dish in order to save space on the table.  This conversation took place a few days ago.

Me: Hi folks I 've got both portions of  Patatas Bravas in the one dish here, so that's a double portion, alright?

Blonde Lady: Yes that's us.

Brunette Lady: Double portion?

Me: Yes we put both portions in the one dish in order to save space on the table.

Brunette Lady: Can you send them back to the kitchen and spilt them into two dishes please?

Blonde Lady: Don't be so stupid, we'll just share.

I think Blonde Lady may be one of my favourite ever customers. She said exactly what I wanted to.  

I also had a debate with a woman about whether or not we served Piri Piri Prawns. She claimed to have had them last time she was in. I suggested that it was probably the Gambas Pil Pil. (Hot roast peeled prawns with olive oil, fresh chillies & garlic.) She insisted that she ordered the Piri Piri Prawns. I pointed out that Piri Piri was Portuguese and we were a spanish restaurant. She said that's the same thing. I ordered her the Gambas Pil Pil and never spoke to her again.

On Saturday night we had a table of 12 women. It was a birthday party for a woman claiming to be forty but was clearly at least fifty. They brought a birthday cake along and asked for it to be served after the main course. When it came time to serve the cake one of the birthday girls friends came over and asked if she could take it over saying, "I told them I made it." I of course assumed she was joking. It was a generic chocolate birthday cake from Marks and Spencers. No one would believe she made it, unless they were a fucking mong.
She took the cake over and the birthday girl blew out the candles and then they asked for one of us to cut up the cake and serve it to them. This was not exactly the most convenient time as we were currently incredibly busy and more tables were on the way, but they were insisting. So one of the waiters stopped everything and cut up the cake and served it to them.
Some was left over and the birthday girls friend came up to me and asked if I could keep it in the restaurant until tomorrow. I said that would be no problem and that I would put it back in the box and leave it at the front door for her to pick up tomorrow.
"Don't put it in the box." She shouted 
"I told them I made it myself, just put it in some cling film."
I gave a little chuckle still under the impression that she was joking. She was not.
She really wanted me to wrap it in cling film so it would look lie she made it herself. Her friends must be really stupid.
While this table was paying the bill and getting ready to leave I had to take out another birthday cake. This was to a table right beside them, and this birthday cake was pretty nice. It was in the shape of a hat with guitars all over it. It looked amazing. The "forty" year olds table had the bitchiest look I have ever seen. They had clearly been outdone.
The "forty" year olds table left a truly crappy tip. The bill was over £200 and they left about £2. Thats a fucking disgrace. I left her cake at the front door for her to pick up the next day, I made sure that I left it IN the box so everyone could see that she clearly went and spent £5 in marks and spencers, and that she had NOT made it with her own two hands and she was a dirty filthy liar! 
The girl with the good birthday cake also asked me if she could leave what was left of her cake in the restaurant. I took the cake downstairs but was worried that perhaps that someone might come down and pick up the wrong cake. I came up with an ingenious labelling system.

On Sunday I got asked the stupidest question I have ever been asked. Not just in a restaurant but in life. 
I had a table of seven, they were easy enough to serve, and they had alright banter. Eventually it came time for dessert, a couple of cheesecakes a chocolate mousse, a creme brulee and a vanilla ice cream. I put them on the table and never thought any more about it. Then a couple of minutes later one of them complained. This was a genuine complaint I received from a real customer.
"Excuse me, my ice cream is too cold."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"My ice cream it's too cold, can it be warmed up."

I swear on my life this is the exact conversation I had with this guy. And he was clearly serious. This wasn't a joke.
What a fucking moron!
It's called ICE cream, not cream.
What a fucking idiot.
"Sorry sir, I can't do much about that."
He then looked quite disappointed and went into a little sulk.
A sulk?
What the fuck?
Next time just order a jug of cream!
Some of the people on his table found this quite amusing but he clearly did not. 
What was I supposed to do?
He wanted warm ice cream.
He's clearly a "special needs" individual.
In his defence he was only 7. But he's still an idiot!

The rest of Sunday went quite quickly, one of the waiters found something which took his fancy. I think it suits him.

And then Patricia and I decided to do a little something to entertain our guests.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE
I had a great month back at Tapas Towers and I am sure I'll end up back their when I eventually get chucked out of school for having very little talent. 

Last time I left Tapas Towers I wrote a poem. This time I'm not gonna do that. No offence. I just can't be arsed. I'm knackered. I'll get round to doing something eventually. Promise.
Thats All For Now 

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you will (if all goes according to plan) receive the super secret email about my super secret project within the next few days.

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts with Thumbnails