Back To School

Hi

How r ya? I'm knackered.

Just so ya know this isn't a blog about the old Rodney Dangerfield film Back To School (although that is ace, if you haven't seen it, buy it)

Monday was my first day at school.

It went well. I remember my first day of primary school being a bit more fun tho. There wasn’t even a sandpit in the college!

I thought its best to start the day with a proper breakfast.

My first class started at 9am and I got there at 8:45 determined to make a good impression. Sadly I have not spent any time in this building since I left here 8 years ago and im certain the layout has changed. I wandered the halls trying to find my class, it was like a scene out of Labrynth.

I half expected to see David Bowie singing Dance Magic Dance. Sadly there was no sign of Bowie, just a lot of people looking equally as lost as me. As I trekked through the corridors I desperately looked for a familiar face. Surely someone else on my course must be lost! It can’t just be me! I had met them all just a couple of days before hand at the induction, I didn’t know there names but I am sure I would recognise there face. I searched the hallways. Not one person looked familiar. Then, at the opposite end of the corridor, I saw someone. I was sure I recognised this guy and he was walking towards me. He must be in my class, he must be lost too! At last. We will still be lost but least there will be 2 of us. I gave the guy a nod and a half smile, as if to say, “hey remember me, I was at the induction, are you lost, yeah me too” I know its hard to imagine getting all that across in one facial expression but I think I did it quite well. As we both walked towards each other, I realised something. Something terrible. I did not know this guy, he was just some bloke. But I was still half smiling at him. Why was I doing that? I couldn’t stop. It was too late to stop. If I suddenly stopped smiling then I would look odd, but I look odd just now, I need to weigh up how weird I will look if I brake off this smile thing now or if I keep smiling and just walk past. Hang on a minute tho, why is this guy smiling at me? Is he doing exactly the same thing I’m doing? Maybe he’s lost too and thinks he recognises me, or maybe he’s a nutter. Maybe he’s a complete mental case who wanders the halls of the college, finds lost students, knocks them unconscious and sells there organs on the black market or to the  college canteen! I just keep smiling and walk past him, he looked like he was going to stop me and ask me a question but I just kept walking and pretended I didn’t see him, I turned a corner and ran away.

I went to reception to ask for directions, there was a young guy in front of me, he seemed to recognise he woman behind the desk, this is the conversation I over heard.

Receptionist: Hiya how you doin? Your mum told me you were gonna be comin here.

Young guy: yeah, she says hello.

Receptionist: how you getting on? Finding everything?

Young guy: Well I need to head home now to change my underwear

Receptionist: oh are you still havin that problem?

I walked away at that point.

At first I thought it was some kind of joke, but judging by the look on the guys face he was being serious.

Eventually I found my classroom. My first class was introduction to camera, was quite good. We didn’t do too much, it was mainly just getting to know how to use the equipment.

The class is 3 and a half hours but we get a half hour break in between. Desperate to avoid looking like the weird older one hanging around in the canteen, I decided to call someone to look like I’m cool and have friends. I racked my brains about who to call. Normally I would call Adam but he’s in stupid Miami! What a dick! Most of my friends work during the day and I don’t want to bother them as there probably too busy doing whatever it is that they do. I searched through my contact list and when I eventually got all the way down to Althea, I decided to call her. She is unemployed so surely she has nothing better to do than talk to me. This was the result.

The people in my class all seem like a decent lot. I was quite relieved to discover I was not the oldest in the class. One student is 31. This cheered me up immensely. So I am happy to announce I am not the oldest, I am the second oldest. Which is nice.

There’s one girl in my class who has purple hair, she reminded me of a girl I went to uni with in Middlesbrough. I did wonder for a moment if it was the same girl. I did reconsider this once I realised I went to uni 8 years ago and the purple hair girl is only 17. I would be impressed if she went to uni when she was 9 but found this unlikely. The purple haired girl started talking about her plans for the evening. She said that night she will be watching all the Star Wars movies for the first time. I found it amazing someone can live for 17 years and not have seen Star Wars. She did seem to be confused by the way they are numbered, with episode 4 being released first in 1977 and then Episodes I, II & III being released a few years ago. She also seemed quite confused by lightsabers and started asking how they work. I pointed out to her it was a movie and not a documentary and I think she then realised what she was saying, I also believe she thinks I am a dick. Although a lot of women think that about me.

When lunch time came I decided to head “off campus” I went to the food court in the bon accord centre, I was shocked at the prices, it was £6.55 for pasta and chips and a diet coke. That’s mental. School dinners were cheaper when I was a kid.

Tuesday is an ace day, I am only in from 9-12:30 which is decent. It does mean getting up early tho which is not something I am good at, I stopped in a bakery to get a sausage roll on the way to school this morning. There were 2 girls in front of me waiting for something, they were reading some shitty celebrity magazine like Heat or Now or some other bollocks. They were talking about how Charlotte Church has lost weight, and how magazines always make it look so easy to lose weight, and moaning its not easy and why does that never happen to them? They then received there breakfast order of macaroni pie and chips and 2 bottles of full fat coke and headed off.

After my class I was at a loss for what to do. It was just odd, it was 12:30 and I had nothing else to do that day. I was totally knackered, I haven’t had a proper day to relax for around 6 weeks. I thought long and hard about what I should do. I decided to embrace my student lifestyle.

Lovin student life!

Class is finished

The day is mine

My energy is diminished,

I need some me time.

I love being a student,

It’s really brill.

I know that I shouldn’t,

But a pint is such a thrill!

What will I do next?

I need to think.

I’ll do what’s best,

I’ll have another drink!

In other news im now almost moved into my flat. Its quite small, and I think the last tennants may have been The Borrowers, look a the size of the bin!

It's only got two beer bottles in it and its already full!!!

This blog was written while listening to Te Best of James. It's Ace.

You Probably noticed this blog is now full of adverts for Amazon, this is because I am a poor student now and if you buy ANYTHING from Amazon please get there through this site. This will cost you nothing but will get me a few pennies which i will use to buy you pretty things!

until next time

Have a nice!

Andy G

www.AndyGblog.com