How r ya?
Hope all is cool with u!
The last time I blogged about a wedding I gave you the abbreviated version. This time I thought I’d give you a more detailed account. I was in Blackpool this past weekend to attend the wedding of Paul & Sonya, a couple of friends from the QE2. I have been looking forward to this for month’s, it will be the first time I’ve seen a lot of these guys in a couple of years.
The trip down was incredibly long. because of my timetable I had to get the last train down to Blackpool. It was due to leave at 17:10, I managed to get out of class early so I could pick up my bag and get to the station in time. I got there around half 4 with the intention of grabbing a pre journey pint. I caught a glimpse of the departures screen to discover there were no trains leaving Aberdeen due to flooding. Flooding? In Aberdeen? I asked the woman if this was a wind up, she said no.
“Are you sure this not a wind up? Maybe you’re not in on it?“ I asked
"No" she said quite sternly and walked away
I did wonder if this was perhaps a cover up, maybe a train has been taken over like in Under Siege 2.I considered asking an employee if this is what happened but I think they are too well trained to break cover.
I asked what I should do to get to Blackpool and someone directed me to a very large queue and told me to wait there for a bus to Dundee. That’s the best they could do. I waited for nearly 2 hours before I got on that bus. I could have walked to Dundee in that time. I asked a couple of scot rail staff what would happen when I got to Dundee but all I got was blank expressions.
So I boarded a very crowded bus and headed for the biggest hole in Scotland, Dundee. Once I got there I had to wait for an hour to get a train to Edinburgh, then a train to York. By the time I got to York it was well after midnight. I was knackered and very grumpy, Scot rail had arranged taxi’s to take myself and all the other passengers wherever we had to go. They seemed confused when I said Blackpool. I think they were expecting me to say the nearest hotel. I shared a taxi with a bloke going to Manchester airport, I don’t know if this is on the way to Blackpool but the taxi man insisted, and since I wasn’t paying I couldn’t argue. I eventually arrived in Blackpool around 4:30 am. The night clerk was surprised to see me, I think I woke him up. I asked him about room service and he looked at me like I just asked to fuck his cat. Luckily there was a casino next door to the hotel. So I wandered over there for breakfast and a beer. Sadly they stopped serving food but I was told I could get a sandwich on the gaming floor. A cunning rouse by the casino staff to get me to gamble but I was starving, so it worked. I went over to the 3 card poker table ordered a sandwich and put 3 quid down on the table. I was only intending to play one hand, I got my cards, had a quick scan, I had three, three’s! That’s over one hundred quid. I took that as karma taking care of me for my incredibly long day! I wolfed down my sandwich and headed to bed.
I awoke the next morning around half 9 because of the very loud cleaners. I headed out to explore Blackpool. I’ve been to Blackpool twice before, both times I arrived later in the evening and both times I was already quite drunk. So this was the first time I had ever experienced Blackpool sober. It’s a bit shit! The age groups seem to go from one extreme to the other. Everyone was either under 16 or over 60. I put my i-pod on random and wandered the streets in search of a decent breakfast. I think my i-pod might be getting smarter, The first song it played was White Wedding by Billy Idol. And then Celebrate by Kool & The Gang. This was starting to get spooky. I was especially worried for Paul when the next song to play was My Way. As I listened to Frank Sinatra sing “and now the end is near” I couldn’t help but worry about how Paul will cope with the end of his Bachelorhood (is that a word?).
I thought since I was down in sunny England I better try some of the local cuisine.
This was also shit!
I headed back to the hotel to hopefully have a nap then get ready for the wedding. Sadly a nap was not on the cards as the cleaners seemed to be even louder than before. I asked one guy if there was an iron I could use. He said no then mumbled something in Polish. I heard him say Kourva and I know that’s a bad word!
After Kilting up I headed down to reception. I was told it would take around half an hour to get there. I ordered a taxi and headed over. The receptionist it turns out, is a fucking MORON. It took approximately 6 minutes to get to the church. So I was the first person there. I couldn’t even get in. So I had to wander round this strange little village with everyone staring at me. Has no one ever seen a man in a kilt before?? Bloody English!
Ne way, I luckily bumped into a few of Paul’s family in the pub. I stayed there for one beer before heading to the church. The wedding was good. I bumped into a couple of former crew mates so I didn’t have to sit on my own. After the wedding we hung around for a few photo’s. Those of us who were going to the reception left the bride and groom to do the rest of the pics. Myself, Rob (a former crew mate) and his girlfriend were first at the bar so we helped ourselves to several glass’s of bucks fizz. I’m not sure if we were supposed to but nobody told us we couldn’t. Eventually we moved through to the main hall, where all the tables were named after ships. Paul & Sonya were of course sitting on “The QE2” I was sitting on “the Campania” with Steve (an ex crew mate who was struggling to remember some of the old crew’s faces), his other half, and some of Sonya’s friends. They all seemed cool & we all got on well. The meal was good, as were the speech’s. After that I must admit that my recollection is a little hazy. I remember there was wine. Lots of it. I remember talking to a girl in a purple dress. I remember when the rest of the QE2 mafia arrived. There was Sian & Cerys who apparently now run a garden centre. Which I thought seemed odd. However there is a good chance I may be remembering that incorrectly. Rachel with the big boobs and wee Michelle also turned up with Helen “Rainy” Delaney. I can’t remember why I call her that but I’m sure there is a good reason. It was awesome to see these guys again. I haven’t seen any of them in a couple of years and that’s a bit rubbish on my part. I’m def gonna try and head down south more often from now on. I vaguely remember near the end of the night telling Helen and Sian they were two of my favourite people ever, ever, ever. I do tend to get emotional when I’m drunk. I remember demanding all the QE2 guys get together for a photo. I remember dancing like a nutter with Helen & Sian, and possibly the girl in the purple dress. I think 500 miles by The Proclaimerscame on. Although I may be imagining that. I could be wrong but I think the bar closed early, or maybe they just stopped serving me. I tried to rally up some people to head into town but no one seemed keen. Not even the girl in the purple dress. Her loss! Somehow I stumbled into a taxi with a few ex crewmates and we headed to a club. It was not until after we went in I realised it was called the Flamingo club.(yes it was a gay club) I asked the girls why we were in a gay club as none of us were gay. I was a man in a kilt in Blackpool and I did not want to waste this opportunity. I somehow managed to lose all the people I came with, so I jumped in a taxi and headed back to the hotel.
The next morning I was woken by a knocking on the door, It was one of my ex crew mates wanting to say goodbye but I was too hung over too move. I shouted “catch ya later” through the door and retreated under my covers. Around 20 mins later there was another loud knocking at my door. I shouted “go away” I heard a polish voice shout back “cleaner!”
“I don’t want anything!” I shouted back
He knocked on the door again.
“Come back later!” I shouted, getting angrier!
“I need to clean room, you check out today.” he demanded
FUCK THIS!! I was raging! Now I couldn’t remember what time I was meant to check out, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some cleaner bastard chuck me out of my room. I got out of bed wandered over to the door and opened it forcefully to see a very surprised looking cleaner.
I don’t think he expected me to answer the door. I told him in a very irritated tone I will be out of the room within an hour. He looked genuinely shocked, but had a bit of a smirk on his face. I couldn’t understand why.
I slammed the door. What a dick! Don't fucking smirk at me at this time in the morning (around half 10).
Then I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
And I realised what he was smirking at, I realised why he looked so shocked. He may not have expected me to answer the door. He most certainly would not have been prepared for what he saw.
I was naked!
I answered the door completely naked.
Why was I naked?
I don’t usually sleep naked.
I turned back to look at my bed in the hope that maybe there was someone else in it. Maybe I was naked because I spent the night with a lovely lady. Maybe it was the girl in the purple dress. Maybe I bumped into her in the hotel when I came back, maybe she realised she made a terrible mistake not going into town with me when I asked. Thank god I came back. Now lets go up to my room and get it on!!
I turned round big smile on my face, fully expecting to see a naked girl in my bed waiting for me.
Sadly there was not.
I was disappointed to discover my bed was empty. I crawled back in and hid under the covers for another hour.
All in all it was an awesome weekend. Despite the drama getting down there, it was worth it in the end. Thank you very much Paul & Sonya for inviting me, It was a great day. To everyone who was there it was awesome to see you guys! I hope too see you all again before too long.
Off to Blackpool,
is where I was heading
It’s gonna be cool,
I’m goin to a wedding.
So now Sonya is the new Mr’s Riley
What happened to the girl in purple?
She was quite whiley!
It was ace to see folk from the QE2
Drinkin and dancing with all the old crew.
So thank you Sonya
And thank you Paul
I hope I see you both soon
For a pub crawl.
Until Next time
Have a nice
This blog was written while listening to