Saturday, 19 September 2009

on the Buses Part 3: The Wrath Of Andy

Hi how r ya?
here is part 3 of my correspondence with Big Bob of Big Bobs Bus Company.

Good Afternoon Mr Johnson,

Its Mr Graham here, I would first of all like to thank you for your letter dated 13th July 2009. (reference IL/MBPC/09-006). You stated that you read my letter several times? Was your bus delayed also?

I would like to respond to some of the points you raised. I would like to state that my original letter was written while I was on the bus and quite angry at the whole experience and your company in general. Because of this I may of come off as slightly harsh and I do apologise for that. That being said I do stand by all my comments. However I do believe you may have misinterpreted a couple of them. I would not expect you to discourage people from holidaying in Dundee, the city does a good enough job of that itself. I was simply expressing my anger at being forced to spend time in a city I do not enjoy, through no fault of my own and with no explanation of why I had been abandoned there.

I also was not criticizing your staff’s multi coloured haircuts, I was simply using the best possible means to describe them so you could investigate this matter further. If I said “some chubby bloke with a yellow vest” this would have been accurate yet insulting and could potentially cover a great deal of your staff. I am not one to make fun of anyone’s hair cut. I once dyed my hair blonde and more recently have drastically altered my own hair style which may be something I will come to regret. (if you are interested in this, you can read more at my blog I also never said that any of your staff were “scum.” And I would not expect you to get any employee or potential employee to sign a contract stating they were not “scum.” Surely you are professional enough to judge that for yourself at an interview stage?

With regards to the breakdown, I am aware that all vehicles are subject to breakdown, My anger was that no explanation was offered and further delays were experienced down the line, and again no explanation was offered. The replacement coach did arrive in Edinburgh but it was not in what I would call a “very short period of time” it was approximately 39 minutes after the bus initially broke down. I know this because I watched another episode of “30 Rock" on my i phone, episode one was 19 minutes and episode two was 20 minutes. It was several minutes after finishing episode 2 that we were moved to the replacement coach. I would not count this as a “very short period of time. “

I will retract my comments about the age of the driver, there was no need for this and I hope he continues to do well in your company in is remaining years. If you could give me his address I would be happy to post him a packet of werthers originals. I would like to say if it had been a relation of mine, then yes I most definitely would be making flippant comments. I quite often make fun of my family for all the incredibly stupid things they do. This may be why I am not invited to family gatherings.

Thank you for your explanation of a stance, I am Scottish but this was not covered when I did higher English all those years ago. I am grateful you have educated me in this and I hope it comes up in a pub quiz shortly.

Regarding the fat man, yes I was discriminating against him, but if you saw him I am confident you would agree with me. It is his own fault he is so fat and he should have to suffer the consequences, why should I suffer because he thought an all you can eat buffet was a challenge?? I am aware that in some cases it is genetic & these people are forced with a terrible affliction that can ruin their lives. However as I understand the statistics, that would only account for 2% of the obese population of the planet. I very much doubt this gentleman is in that group. I could be wrong, if you can get in touch with him to check, I will gladly offer a full apology and take him out for a salad. I do agree with the point you made in your letter, you cannot refuse people access to your vehicles because I deem them overweight, perhaps there could be some sort of scales before boarding? Or possibly get some larger seats in your coach’s to accommodate these “larger people.”
Next, on to the drunken Glasweigans, I most certainly would not like “the ideals of free choice to be removed from society” (nicely put by the way). I don’t care if people from Glasgow are holidaying in Dundee. What irritated me was the fact they appeared to get on the bus for free, they were clearly intoxicated, and were generally loud, obnoxious and offensive to both my ears and my nostrils.

With regards to my calling your customers “scum.” I of course was not referring to all your customers, as you stated in your letter over 10 million people have travelled with you in the UK alone. But come on!! You’ve seen some of them haven’t you? I would presume that as operations manager of Bobs Big Bus Company you have travelled on your own buses? Would you honestly tell me that your experience was enjoyable? Why don’t you take a coach trip (you must get a good discount) from London to Aberdeen, and see some of the people who are getting on your coach’s? See what happens when you try to get an explanation about a delay? And if your brave enough try and take the trip without taking an air freshener with you! I believe it may open your eyes a little. You are correct when you say that personal statements about people I do not know is indeed a cheap and easy dig, in this case it was also accurate.
I would like to thank you for your letter, clearly you put some thought into it and I appreciate that. I would like you to know that I understand where your coming from. I have worked as a restaurant manager, for several years and have to deal with the public on a daily basis, it’s awful! The public truly are a bunch of twats! I realise you may get letters of complaint quite often and have to deal with less than pleasant people regularly, and believe me I know how you feel. In the past I have had to reply to letters of complaint and the vast majority of them don’t even make sense!! Sadly I was forced to swallow my pride, and apologise to the customer and offer some form of compensation. You have not chosen to do that. That’s Awesome! It must be quite liberating to have that kind of freedom. I would like to think that you would be understanding enough to realise that both my previous letter and this one were sent by an angry man who was very disappointed in your service. I think that deep down you must agree with me on some of my points?? I would like you to know that I’m not a completely miserable bastard. I don’t spend my time writing letters to companies complaining all the time. In fact just the other day I wrote a letter to Red Bull telling them how awesome I think there drink is. I am a great believer in Karma and I hope that after my correspondence with yourself, the Red Bull letter will balance me out.

I will consider re using Bobs Big Bus Company, in the future, however I would like to think you would at least consider a couple of things I have suggested. I was hoping you could at least install better air conditioning so the next time someone who offends the nostrils onboard your bus there can be some form of relief.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the matters I raised.

Kind Regards

Andy Graham

Thats all for now
Part 4 "Congratulations Bob" will be online in a couple of days!
Until next time
Have a Nice
Andy G

This blog was written while listening to @#%&*! Smilers By Aimee Mann

I'm Nearly finished my book!

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