Saturday, 10 July 2010

News from the anonymous teuchter

Hows it goin? 
Regular readers will know about the letter I once wrote to Mother Tuckerz, I received no response from them, so I sent a second letter. I again received no response but the owner of the shop, rather unprofessionally, started showing the letter to her regular customers, and then they started to retaliate on her behalf.

And then they just started with all out abuse. This didn't really bother me, in fact I found it quite funny, mainly because the people dishing out the abuse appeared to have a mental age of about 7.  I was so amused by the whole thing I even gave them a reference in my film, can you spot it?

I was curious why the owner of the shop had shown the letter to her customers, surely if someone complains about your business the thing to do is deal with it quickly and quietly, not advertise the problem. So i paid her a visit. Her reaction was somewhat disappointing. I attempted to bring an element of humour to our discussion, I introduced myself by saying, "Hi, I'm the arsehole who's been sending you letters." Her immediate response was "hello arsehole." Not exactly very professional, now granted I was calling myself an arsehole but the professional thing to do would be to always try and win the customer back, not start off in a confrontational manner. Sadly our conversation quickly deteriorated, by the end she was shouting and swearing at me on her shop floor, again very unprofessional behaviour on her part. I like to think I left the shop on better terms than I entered it. My feud with them was done, because to be honest I couldn't be bothered. I was quite amused by the whole thing and never gave it a second thought until yesterday.

Yesterday I received this comment on the blog.

Anonymous teuchter here. Yill bi glad ti kain Muthatukka has gone tits up. It's noo a sweety shop. Ah the sanny shops roon aboot thocht they'd get mair customers but turns oot she didnae hae onny so macks nay diffrince.

Dinnae wurry it wisnae yoor fult, cream rises to the top and she proved shite sinks to the bottom.

For anyone who doesn't speak teuchter, I have provided a translation. 

You'll be glad to know that Mother Tuckers has gone out of business. It is now a sweet shop. All the sandwich shops nearby thought this would lead to more customers but it turns out she didn't have any so it makes no difference. Don't worry it wasn't your fault. Cream rises to the top and she proved shit sinks to the bottom.

Well my teuchter friend thanks for the update, if you ever find yourself on George street then check out Wowzies sweet shop, just beside cash converters, It's brilliant! Inside it looks like a bag of skittles exploded, in a good way. And they have cracking ice cream too. If you do go in let me know, you could be my reporter in the field. 
By the way for anyone who doesn't know what a teuchter is, I have copied this definition from wikipedia:
Teuchter (pronounced /ˈtjuːxtər/[1] or /ˈtʃuːxtər/[2]) is a Lowland Scots word used mainly for Northern, Highland Scots, or Doric speaking Scots, although sometimes to any rural Scots by urban Scots. In Glasgow, it can often be used to refer to a person from another part of Scotland if the latter carries a distinctive accent. Like most such cultural epithets, it is often offensive, but is sometimes seen as amusing by the speaker.

So apparently Mother Tuckerz have gone out of business, that's the rumour anyway. This has not been confirmed. I can't say I'm surprised. In all seriousness I hope it was nothing to do with me, I certainly didn't want that, quite the opposite in fact. I simply wanted them to apologise for selling me out of date crisps and a crappy sandwich and then improve the standards. Be the best and rule all the other sandwich shops in Aberdeen. With a name like Mother Tuckerz they certainly deserve to be champions, sadly they never were. Unfortunately for them the shop name was the best thing about the place. Well, that and the counter staff were all very friendly,  just not knowledgeable.

Thats All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

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If you do subscribe then one day I will take you the greatest sandwich shop in Aberdeen, Upperkrust.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous Teuchter's Brither here; Yi could hiv blan me doon we a fethir the day, Saiterday 24th, Muther Tukhers (know on Dod Street as "that al hoor's shop") wiz open! So mi brither A.T wiz rang, shoddy work, nae tatties for him the nicht. Fit shiz deen is shut the sweetie shop (Caddyshack) or Crabbycack as us on Dod Street ca it and moved it intae Mutha Tukher's, in korparate parlance I think its ca'd doon sizin. So shi'll nae doot cairy on the mucky taktics on a the ither traders in the Dod Street area. The latist trick shi tried to pull wiz to try an get ither food shoppies in trubble wi the health by askin a jiner ti pit beasties in their letter boxis, cockroachis n the like!! He spragged her and the polis and the cooncil were telt. A thurilly nasty bitch. Bit shi's pittin her ither biziness at risk. Shi hires oot chuddy cleaning hoover things ti the cooncil ti clean chuddy aff the pavemint. So fella Ayebrrdonians ivery time yi spit yer chuddy on the pavemint yir pittin munny in her kype.
    Ats a fir noo. Stovie Dod (Pryvit Aye)



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