25 Random Pics from The QE2

Hi

How's it goin? 

Many moons ago I used to work on The QE2, it was a great time in my life, I spent most of it drunk. 

I have included two videos in this post, if you can't see them it's because your reading this crap on facebook, Why are you doing that? That's crazy! Just CLICK HERE to get to the proper blog page.

A couple of weeks ago I posted 25 random pics from my time in Edinburgh. Well here is something very similar, 25 Random Pics from my time on The QE2.

Adam & Jonny Torpedo went out for a few essentials while we were docked in France.

Some birds

Some girls in Bikini's

Bela prepares for boat drill

Andrea's boobs

It was slim pickins in the crew bar this night. Adam & Bob turned to each other

All three of those shirts belong to me. I still have them.

Our 4 piece ukulele band

One night we just felt like wearing poncho's.

This is just before we jumped off the Sky Tower in Auckland, New Zealand.

This is me screaming as I am dangled off the Sky Tower in Auckland, New Zealand

The guy who took this picture told me to wave my arms, I just continued to scream.

Myself and Aussie Jo, drunk in Barbados.

The ship held a formal party for the crew, most of the male crew wore tuxedo's. We went like this.

The Drinking Team: We Dress to Impress.

Superhero night in the crew bar. Kenny went as Gaydar Man.

A pic from the Cheese & Wine party that Bob and I hosted in our cabin.

Drunk in a nightclub in Quebec. This photo was taken just mere moments before the incident that led to me being banned from Quebec.

One man wearing another man's t-shirt.

It was Adam's birthday on a formal party night for the crew. We all hired tux's and I got Adam a Birthday cake.

Adam got very drunk that night, and he forgot he left the birthday cake on his bed, this was the result.

Yes, that is a very hung over man, trying to clean squashed birthday cake off of a hired tuxedo jacket with a hoover.

One night we just fancied going to the pub in a toga

Stewart decided to soak Phil. Not sure why.

This is what Lefty & Jonny Torpedo wore to the Playboy party.

This is what Steve wore to the Playboy Party.

Claire with my boxer shorts. F.Y.I. That's the same pair I was wearing when I wrote this blog post. 

That's All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe the next time I post 25 Random Pics, maybe they will feature you.

Friendly Friday: Bob

Hi 

Hows it goin? 

Haven't done a Friendly Friday in a wee while. So here's one all about Bob, not to be confused with Bob of Bobs Big Bus Company. This is the original, and the best.

Bob, he's indescribable. But I'll give it a go.

Bob and I met on the QE2, both being scottish we immediately became friends.

In his hay day he was a sexual dynamo, he always had a minimum of 2 women on the go, this was quite awkward when he was onboard ship, he usually had one woman at the front of the ship and one woman at the back. (That's where the women lived on board the ship, not some kind of code for weird sex acts.) When we worked together he used to take great pleasure in sharing his sleazy sex stories with me during lunch service. I think the passengers enjoyed it to.

These day's he is much more domesticated. With the exception of the odd arrest every now and then, and an ex girlfriend who tried to kill him with a sword, he lives a fairly normal life. A few years ago he one young scottish hotel manager of the year. To get that award I am told you have to suck a hell of a lot of cock, but that shouldn't be a problem for Bob. He is omni sexual, he'll shag anything that moves. Here's a pic of him trying to get it on with Adam. (and succeeding)

I was very proud when Bob won that award, we shared a cabin on the ship for 6 months and obviously some of my professionalism rubbed off on him. Unfortunately none of his skills with the ladies rubbed off on me.

I do not mean rubbed off in a literal sense, that would be disgusting. 

Bob is very much the daddy of our drinking team. He looks after us when we need it. When Adam left the ship for several months because he was ill Bob stepped up and filled the role of person who has to keep an eye on Andy. And he did well. Someone has to keep an eye on me, I can't look after myself.

But like all great men, Bob does have a weakness. He snores. A lot. And loudly. It's unbelieveable, how he hasn't brought his own house down yet I do not know.

During Ian's stag do, 7 of us shared a room. We attempted to come up with a solution to Bob's snoring.

We constructed a sound proof barrier around his bed. It didn't really work. But at 1:30 am, after we had been drinking heavily, this seemed like the greatest idea in the world.

It's easy to grin,

when Bob comes in.

And he tells you another sleazy sex tale.

But what makes it worth while,

is when you can smile,

when he finds out the girl was not a female.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

That poem is of course NOT based in fact, to the best of my knowledge Bob is not a gay, nor has he had sex with any hermaphrodites. 

Here's a video featuring the one and only Bob, if you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on Facebook and CLICK HERE!

Thats All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then one day I will feature you in Friendly Friday, honest.

Friendly Friday: Jonny Torpedo

Hi

Hows it goin?

This week I'm gonna write about Jonny Torpedo.

Here's a picture of him just doing a normal everyday thing that everyone normally does on a day to day basis.

Yes, he is shaving his nipples. I'm not entirely sure why.

This is how UrbanDictionary.com describes Jon.

Jonny Torpedo, along with myself and Adam he is a founding father of The Drinking Team, Jonny's origins are shrouded in mystery.

The most popular story is, there was a storm, a terrible storm. A distillery was struck by lightening and the power went out. When the power was restored, a baby was lying next to a keg, no one knew how he got there.

That Baby Was Jonny Torpedo.

Jon lived opposite myself and Adam when we all worked on the floating caravan that is The QE2, he shared a cabin with the infamous Lefty.

Jon is one of the more excitable people I know. When we were living together in Edinburgh I managed to get home from work at a semi decent time and suggested we go see the new Star Trek movie. Being a massive geek I couldn't wait to see it. Adam wasn't keen, I asked Jon and he was excited, more excited than I had ever seen him, he got so excited he took off all his clothes and ran round the house naked.

Honestly.

He then proceeded to play football in the kitchen, still naked.

After about 20 minutes of naked football he went for a bath and fell asleep in the tub, poor Jon had tired himself out, sadly I never got to see star trek that night. Even more sadly, I got too see far too much of Jon.

Here's a vid features Jonny Torpedo and his Greek Brother From Another Mother, Lefty.

If you can't see the video I've posted above then stop reading this crap on facebook and click here.

A Poem For Jonny Torpedo

I met Jon on The QE2

We went for a beer, more than a few.

Jonny Torpedo, that's his name.

Drinking and shagging, that's his game.

Sometimes he likes to shave his nipple,

but usually after he's had a tipple.

I don't know why his last names Torpedo,

Maybe it's something to do with the Lido.

We lived together, in our massive flat,

I saw him get naked, but you already knew that.

When will I see Jon again?
Nobody knows.

I just hope he's wearing some clothes.

Thats All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."


Subscription to The Blog Of Andy G is recommended by 9 out of 10 dentists.

Happy Birthday Lefty

Hi

Hows it goin?

It was Leftys Birthday yesterday.

Who's Lefty I hear you ask?

What do you mean who's Lefty?

Those of you who have been lucky enough to see my first movie "QE2 Reloaded" will know exactly who Lefty is. He's a fucking Legend.

He's one of the founding fathers of The Drinking Team!!!

Lefty & Jonny Torpedo lived across the hall from myself & Adam when we all worked together on the floating caravan that is The QE2. When the drinking team were together the crew bar of the QE2 was a truly magical place. We raised our dollar cans of heineken and let out a loud drunken chant

"Drinking Team, Assemble!"

This was inspired by the movie Anchorman which we watched approximately 375 times while on board and at least another 250 since.

He was the older one, the wiser one, the Greek one!

It was him that taught us all how to speak Greek.

He was the first of us to join the ship, he also had more sex than I had hot dinners.

We used to have a saying

"Lefty doesn't need sex, sex needs Lefty"

And its true!

He was a key member of the drinking team and I'm sad to say I don't see him nearly as often as I should. but in my defence he does live in Greece and I live in Aberdeen.

The last time i saw him was when Adam surprised me by arranging for a full meet up of the drinking team in Aberdeen the weekend before I moved to New York. That was awesome! A truly great weekend from what I can remember.

So lefty my dear drinking buddy A very happy birthday to you.

Hope all is cool in your world.

Here's a vid of you and Jonny Torpedo.

Hope to see you soon.

Drinking team......................

I posted two videos and an audioboo on this blog post, if you can't see them, then stop reading this crap on facebook and click here.

Thats all for now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then I'll eat a big red candle

Quit your Jibber Jabba

Hi.

Hows it going?

I just found this pic online of The A Team

The NEW A TEAM!!!

How ace is that? I've been having the conversation in pubs for years about who i would choose to be the new A Team. Ill admit i don't think any of these guys ever came up in discussion.

If your interested about the new movie then click here.

I still think my version is better.

Thats all for now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

Good Morning

Good Morning

I haven't written anything for a few days so thought i better say hello.

its been a busy week since Marks wedding. I was recovering for several days afterwards. I left my blond wig at my parents house. Maybe my Dad will use it. I've been busy at working serving tapas I've started a fitness regime, Michael Jackson died and it was my birthday.

First of all may i take this opportunity to thank everyone for there birthday wish's. Sorry i didn't reply to any to you personally but i'm really shit at getting back to people.

And now at the old age of 27 i've decided to start exercising. it all started a couple of weeks ago. I was getting very stressed and frustrated with a project and just wanted to get out of the house to clear my head. so I did something I have never ever done before. put on my trainers and went for a run. a proper run, for no reason and contrary to popular belief I was not running to make last orders at the pub or because there was a sale on at macdonalds. to quote Forest Gump "I just felt like runnin" i didn't make it as far as he did but i did go from my flat down to ocean terminal, which is 2 miles away. im not sure how i ended up there as i thought i was headin in another direction but thats where destiny conspired to take me. once i realised where i was i was annoyed when it started to rain. i thought "fuck it thats enough for today. luckily i had a tenner in my pocket, so I bought a bottle of water and a bounty bar and caught the bus home.

I've been out for a run twice since then, and no i have not got the bus again. now you may mock me for getting the bus home, but in my defense, it was raining and that is the most exercise i've done since......... well ever. the fitness thing was also partly inspired by Marks wedding. I was of course wearing the kilt to mark the day, and it was a bit tight. My kilt was a 21st birthday present making it 6 years old and it was a bit tighter than I remember. I have another wedding in early september and I suspect I will be the only kilted man there so I have to be looking good. No one is gonna wanna shag a fat man in a kilt, but once I've lost a few pounds and the ladies see me on the dance floor they will be queueing up for a taste of the Andy love!

As well as the running I also splashed out on a wii fit. I know this is not the most exact thing in the world but its cheaper than going to the gym. I'm working my way through all the exercises although I think its schizophrenic. One minute its saying I am a couch potato and next its saying I'm a muscle legend. Its weird because I am struggling to do one proper push up.

so Michael jackson is dead. I found out via text, all it said was "incredible news. its the day music died" i thought he was talking about this

I immediately checked online to see if it was true and sadly it was. it was on the internet so it had to be true. twitter was filled with tweets bidding jacko farewell. I follow around 15o people on twitter and almost all of them were saying rip jacko or quoting lines from one of his songs or some bollocks. At the end of the day im sorry he's dead. its sad when anyone dies. but has everyone forgot he was a kiddie fiddler??? someone told me recently that you should not speak ill of the dead. but thats bollocks. If someone is a cunt and then dies, why should my opinion of that person change, they were still a cunt, just now they are a dead cunt, which doesn't bother me. Hitler is dead, should we show proper respect and not say bad things about him? should we not make fun of his charlie chaplin moustache and the fact he only had one testicle?

Now don't get me wrong, im not comparin jacko to hitler, im just saying remember the facts. He was the king of pop and rightly so. He was an awesome musician but he was also very very fucked up. he looked like a toy. he was a very very strange man. That being said i would have loved to of seen him live. I still dance badly to thriller whenever i hear it.

So my birthday came and went, im now another year older but i don't feel any wiser. I share my birthday with a couple of friends, Martin, Aders and Jeanine. I wonder if they feel any wiser today? i doubt it, Jeanine is probably hungover from drinking too many cocktails on fire island and Aders is already far wiser than any man i know, just in his own unique way. My birthday celebrations started on saturday night after work. After cashing up the staff sang happy birthday to me which came as a surprise as i thought they had all left. they got me a cheesecake and wrote "happy birthday G.L.M" in caramel sauce. (G.L.M. stands for Good Looking Manager, i didn't come up with it, honest) After a glass of vino i was well behaved and headed home( this is mainly because i was skint). had a productive day on the sunday i did my wii fit workout, my wii fit age has went down by 9 years in the space of a day, i feel like a time traveller. treated myself to a new pair of shoes and then realised i still hadn't sent my mum a birthday card. it was her birthday 3 weeks ago. I always find it difficult to buy presents for parents. I never know what they would like. I got them vouchers for my old work for christmas as it was quick and easy. there should be some kind of shop for parents. Just head in there and they have everything that your parent might possibly want. After at least 20 minutes of searching the shops i gave up and bought her some marks and spencers vouchers. I wrote a poem in her card to apoloise for the card being late tho

Happy birthday Mum, sorry its late

how was your day? im sure it was great!

here's your present, sorry it's shit

from your "other child," the one who's a git!

I trust she'll enjoy that. so back to my birthday. After a power nap, the drinking team( Adam Jon and myself) headed into our nations capital for cocktails and dancing. the first few bars we went to were a bit crap, we ended up in element on rose street, its quite a cool wee bar and bumped into a couple of people from work. There we drank lots. Adam disappeared at one point. We were deeply concerned, then my phone beeped and i saw this picture.

Mystery solved.

more drinks followed then we headed to espionage to rock out!

I quite like the second level of espionage (the indie rock level) they usually play decent tunes and the drink is not too expensive compared to some other edinburgh Bars. At this point it became obvious that adam was more drunk than Jon and I put together. A fact he proved by dancing like a nutter while i held the drinks. I think this is the first time this has ever happened.

I left the club just after half 2 as i was knackered, Adam stayed on to dance the night away. I was gutted that cafe picantes(the local kebab shop) was closed i went home and attempted to cook but then remembered i cant. I put a couple of pasties in the oven but forgot to set the timer, i woke up nearly 2 hours later and ate half of a very burnt chicken and mushroom pasty. it was minging!

so that was my birthday Im off on tuesday and i might go to the zoo, I've lived in edinburgh for 8 months now and i still haven't gone to the zoo. thats just wrong. I wonder how much it is to buy a monkey? So now im 27, that seems an odd age to be, i suppose now im technically in my late twenties. and in 2 months im goin back to college and probably be in a class filled with 17 and 18 year old little shits who think they are ace cos they aren't at school. O dear what have i let myself in for.

well thats all from me for now. thanks again for all the birthday wishes. hope all is cool with you wherever you happen to be in the world.

this blog was written whilst listening to the sounds of chameleon circuit, which is without a doubt the geekiest thing i have ever done, but the tunes are good. check them out at http://www.myspace.com/chameleoncircuitmusic

until next time

be cool

Cya

Andy G

p.s. if anyone actually does read the crap that i'm writing you can subscribe through this website.

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