Reviews of My Book

Hi

How's it goin? 

So its been two weeks since I released my book!

And so far I have sold 26!

Most people have said that's not a bad start, and it's not. But I did send over 300 emails telling people to buy it.

So to you 274 people I say, I am very disappointed in all of you.

The reviews have been coming in and for those of you who are yet to buy my book, this might change your mind.

 My friend Jonesy said all he had to say in one simple text.

He was also kind enough to tweet 

His daughter, Gwenno, was also clearly impressed.

This review appeared lulu.com

Fellow Blogger and Former Stunt Driver (how cool is that?) Ian S Davidson is also a satisfied customer.

Mia, my old shipmate from when I worked

 on the QE2 was impressed.

And my old school mate Gemma sent me this message.

 My co-worker from Vincents also did her part.

And on Sunday I also received this email, via my Dad, from a friend of my parents.

From: Dawn@FriendOfTheParentsOfAndyG.com
Date: 12 September 2010 12:42:14 GMT+01:00
To: TheDadOfAndyG@TheParentsOfAndyG.com
Subject: Andrews Book

Hi,


Please forward this to Andrew


Hi Andrew,


Hope this message finds you well!

Loved the book, as a letter writer myself I have every intention of using some of your lines.  I am inspired to write to Tonik tomorrow.  I went there yesterday lunchtime, we couldn't sit outside on the couches at the dirty table and drink wine yet we couldn't sit inside where our shoes stuck to the floor with my 12 year old daughter.

Cried laughing at your Blackpool antics and the locker story!

Looking forward to your next one.

Dawn 

A few days ago I had the following conversation on facebook.

Well Kirsty (or KP as she prefers to be known) took that deal. She has bought my book. And tomorrow is Friday. And regular readers will know that every Friday I write a blog post about someone who is lucky enough to be my friend. So tomorrows Friendly Friday will be all about KP.

Also known as the girl with the purple hair.

Also known as the girl with the red hair.

Also known as the girl with the blue hair.

So tomorrow you're gonna learn all about KP, and read a poem about her left ear. Which is weird. But not my idea.

KP, if you are reading this then I hope you enjoy the book. If you want to be a guest writer on my blog I will gladly let you write a review. You can even draw a picture if you like. 

So all these people have bought my book and enjoyed it. 


Have you bought it yet? 


NO? 


Why the hell not?


What kind of friend are you?


A crappy friend! 


How dare you not buy my book! 


That's just bang out of order!


Only two things you can do to make it up to me.


Buy my book, and buy me a beer.


To buy my book CLICK HERE!

Two days ago I sent a complimentary copy of my book to Peggy, the owner of the now closed Mother Tuckers. I will let you know if she ever gets back to me.



Have you bought my book? 
What do you think?
Would you like to be featured on my blog?
If you do, then take a picture of yourself with the book, and e-mail it to me with your thoughts and I will feature it on the blog. You, yes YOU could be a guest writer on The Blog Of Andy G! 
I am sure that's something you've been waiting for all your life.


Andy@randomandom.com






That's All For Now 

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then one day maybe, just maybe, I will come round to your house and perform a dramatic book reading from my book.

I have written a book

Hi 

Hows it goin?

As regular readers will know I once set myself the challenge of writing 50 letters. I have now completed that challenge and I have compiled them all into one handy place.

My first book!

The book is called Fifty Envelopes and is available RIGHT NOW!

It's a proper book, with words and everything! I even put in a few pictures!

It contains all fifty letters which I have written over the course of a year plus any reply that was received. And chronicles some of the adventures surrounding them, including my trip to Blackpool for Paul & Sonya's wedding. And all the incidents involving the Amusingly named sandwich shop.

Obviously some of the letters have already appeared in the blog. But a hell of a lot of them haven't. Like the letter to the police.

The letter to a popular cereal company

The letter I sent to my potential future wife.

And the greatest R.S.V.P. ever sent for a wedding.

All this and more. I've put a lot of work into this. I think you'll like it. A massive thank you goes to Diana Leto who helped me design the cover and put in hours and hours of work in the formatting of the book.

Diana you are a legend.

Fifty Envelopes is 172 pages long and only costs £5.99 (plus postage and packaging), that's less than 4 pence a page!

The book is available for purchase online here!

You should go and buy it, cos its awesome. And I really need the money.

If you wrote a book I'd buy it. And that's a fact.

Once again my book is available HERE!

Click on that link and buy it. Do it now.

NOW!

Go on you know you want to.

Since some of the letters have already appeared on the blog already, I didn't see the point in giving you a sneak preview. But since I am a nice guy here is a look at the table of contents.

Thats All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you will receive a discount on my next book.

News from the anonymous teuchter

Hi 

Hows it goin? 

Regular readers will know about the letter I once wrote to Mother Tuckerz, I received no response from them, so I sent a second letter. I again received no response but the owner of the shop, rather unprofessionally, started showing the letter to her regular customers, and then they started to retaliate on her behalf.

And then they just started with all out abuse. This didn't really bother me, in fact I found it quite funny, mainly because the people dishing out the abuse appeared to have a mental age of about 7.  I was so amused by the whole thing I even gave them a reference in my film, can you spot it?

I was curious why the owner of the shop had shown the letter to her customers, surely if someone complains about your business the thing to do is deal with it quickly and quietly, not advertise the problem. So i paid her a visit. Her reaction was somewhat disappointing. I attempted to bring an element of humour to our discussion, I introduced myself by saying, "Hi, I'm the arsehole who's been sending you letters." Her immediate response was "hello arsehole." Not exactly very professional, now granted I was calling myself an arsehole but the professional thing to do would be to always try and win the customer back, not start off in a confrontational manner. Sadly our conversation quickly deteriorated, by the end she was shouting and swearing at me on her shop floor, again very unprofessional behaviour on her part. I like to think I left the shop on better terms than I entered it. My feud with them was done, because to be honest I couldn't be bothered. I was quite amused by the whole thing and never gave it a second thought until yesterday.

Yesterday I received this comment on the blog.

Anonymous teuchter here. Yill bi glad ti kain Muthatukka has gone tits up. It's noo a sweety shop. Ah the sanny shops roon aboot thocht they'd get mair customers but turns oot she didnae hae onny so macks nay diffrince.

Dinnae wurry it wisnae yoor fult, cream rises to the top and she proved shite sinks to the bottom.

For anyone who doesn't speak teuchter, I have provided a translation. 

You'll be glad to know that Mother Tuckers has gone out of business. It is now a sweet shop. All the sandwich shops nearby thought this would lead to more customers but it turns out she didn't have any so it makes no difference. Don't worry it wasn't your fault. Cream rises to the top and she proved shit sinks to the bottom.

Well my teuchter friend thanks for the update, if you ever find yourself on George street then check out Wowzies sweet shop, just beside cash converters, It's brilliant! Inside it looks like a bag of skittles exploded, in a good way. And they have cracking ice cream too. If you do go in let me know, you could be my reporter in the field. 

By the way for anyone who doesn't know what a teuchter is, I have copied this definition from wikipedia:

Teuchter (pronounced /ˈtjuːxtər/^[1] or /ˈtʃuːxtər/^[2]) is a Lowland Scots word used mainly for Northern, Highland Scots, or Doric speaking Scots, although sometimes to any rural Scots by urban Scots. In Glasgow, it can often be used to refer to a person from another part of Scotland if the latter carries a distinctive accent. Like most such cultural epithets, it is often offensive, but is sometimes seen as amusing by the speaker.

So apparently Mother Tuckerz have gone out of business, that's the rumour anyway. This has not been confirmed. I can't say I'm surprised. In all seriousness I hope it was nothing to do with me, I certainly didn't want that, quite the opposite in fact. I simply wanted them to apologise for selling me out of date crisps and a crappy sandwich and then improve the standards. Be the best and rule all the other sandwich shops in Aberdeen. With a name like Mother Tuckerz they certainly deserve to be champions, sadly they never were. Unfortunately for them the shop name was the best thing about the place. Well, that and the counter staff were all very friendly,  just not knowledgeable.

Thats All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then one day I will take you the greatest sandwich shop in Aberdeen, Upperkrust.

Dear New Owners of The QE2 (A.K.A envelope 18 of 50)

Hi

Hows it goin?

Here's the latest letter in my 50 envelope challenge. This letter was posted in January and I have yet to receive a response.

Dear Sir/Madam

I understand you have recently come into possession of the former Cruise Ship, QE2. Congratulations. I hope you got a good deal. I am a former crew member and I am writing to you with a suggestion which will no doubt make you a lot of money.

I am unsure of your plans for the ship. A friend told me it is being turned into a floating hotel. This sounds like a great idea, I would suggest go ahead with this, but why not preserve some aspects of the ship. You can take guests on a tour and see what life was like when it was a fully functioning cruise ship. Keep the engine room, kitchens, and crew cabins. I would suggest in particular my old cabin (542, on five deck aft)

I am sure you have heard of the infamous double act Adam & Andy from the QE2. Well I am THAT Andy. I would be more than happy to provide you with photo’s of our cabin so it could be precisely recreated. I even have a cardboard cut out of myself and Adam which I would be happy to sell to you for a modest fee.

Our cabin was one of the superior crew cabins on board. We spent many an hour in that cabin drinking, and entertaining our fellow crew members, and even the occasional lady. 

I think your future guests would get a real kick out of seeing the REAL story of how the crew survived working on what was essentially a floating old folks home.

Our cabin was one of the few which was ALWAYS stocked with beer, we also had a very impressive DVD collection. We were also lucky enough to have a porthole! It was a handy place to keep our box of breath mints to get rid of the post breakfast beer breath. We also kept the box of condoms on that shelf, (we called it the condomint shelf. Get it? Condom + mint= condemint) these were used when one of us was lucky enough to get a lady drunk enough to come to our cabin. 

Think of the possibilities. 

Every guest who goes on the tour could be given a free beer, a free breath mint, and a free condom. This would be a great little treat on the tour and you would be seen as a responsible hotel by supporting safe sex.

I look forward to receiving a response.

Kind Regards

Andy G

Former Crew Member

P.S. If the cabin door is locked don’t worry I still have the key.

Here's a video that shows what life on The QE2 was really like.

If you can't see the video above the stop reading this crap on Facebook and CLICK HERE.

Thats All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then I will haunt your dreams!