Highlights from the weekend.

Hi 

How's it goin? 

How was your weekend?
No seriously, tell me, I am interested!

Unless it was dull, in which case I don't wanna know.

It was another drunken weekend in the life of Andy G.

FRIDAY

On Friday I headed out with Rushton and Dave.

We started at the new Brew Dog pub in Aberdeen.

Brew dog is a local brewery, they recently renovated an old bar in Aberdeen and turned it into Brew Dog Pub, selling the beers they brew up in Fraserburgh. In fact they only sell beer and wine. It’s really good. It is rapidly becoming my new favourite pub. 


Myself and a couple of mates are strongly considering heading along one afternoon and working our way through the entire beer menu. (About 20 beers, one of which is 40%. That's not counting the 30 odd guest beers from all over the world, but that's a challenge for another day.)

Anyway, we decided to start our night out here as it was new and Dave had not been in yet. Dave being the legendary drunkard that he is, could not let a new pub open in Aberdeen and not visit within a couple of days.

At one point I over heard this converstion between a semi hot girl and the barman:

Semi Hot Girl

Can I have a vodka Red Bull please?

Barman

I’d love to, but there's a couple of small problems with that.

Semi Hot Girl

What?

Barman

We don’t serve vodka and we don’t serve Red Bull.

The girl had a look of confusion on her face. Obviously she did not quite grasp the concept of the pub.

Semi Hot Girl

So what do you sell?

Barman

We have BrewDog beers, some guest beers and wine

Semi Hot Girl

What kind of wine?

Barman

Red, White or Pink.

Like I said, it’s rapidly becoming my new favourite pub! If you're in Aberdeen you should definitely check it out! The beers on draft change everyday which is a nice touch, and they have all the Brew Dog Beers on bottle, as well as some really tasty guest beers from America.

As you can probably tell I am hoping for some corporate sponsorship from Brew Dog, or at least a free pint!


The night continued to another pub or two, then into a club. The night ended up with Rushton going home early cos he's a wimp, and me and Dave downing Jaeger Bombs!

SATURDAY

On Saturday it was a night out with Mark,  Aders Norman and Kim. Mark was also out with a couple of his workmates, he introduced me to them by saying,


"This is my mate Andy, he used to go to uni in Middlesbrough."


I thought this was a very odd way of introducing anyone. Yes I did go to uni in Middlesborough, but only for one year, and I didn't do much, and it was nearly 10 years ago.


I then discovered that two of the people I was being introduced to were actually from Middlesbrough. I politely shook everyones hand, said hello, and intensely guarded my wallet for the rest of the night.


We were going to see a couple of bands at The Tunnels in Aberdeen. This night featured the return of one of my favourite ever people, Drunk  Aders  Norman.

We knew a couple of the bands playing. The Deportees, Marks cousins band, were really good. Obviously I am slightly biased as I know him, but they were really good. Check them out on Myspace.

Another band playing were Le Reno Amps featuring Al Nero, a legend of a guy who we went to school with. As well as Al we bumped into a few old school mates and it was great to catch up. At one point  Aders  Norman was talking to Craig (an old school mate) and his girlfriend. None of us had seen or heard from Craig since we left school ten years ago. It was great to see him, altho I was a bit drunk. All I remember him saying was that he is now an accountant.

The banter was slow, and  Aders  Norman was struggling for something to say, this is the conversation which took place.

 Aders  Norman

So we were just in the bar next door cos someone said the 

Barmaid had the biggest boobs ever, did you see her? 

Craig

Erm, no.

Craig and his girlfriend just shrugged clearly not knowing what to say.

There was a silence, a silent silence, the silentest silence since the time I used the Polar Bear line on some hot girls while very drunk in a kebab shop.

 Aders  Norman felt compelled to fill this silence, he had to say something, and this wasn't regular  Aders  Norman, 
this was Drunk  Aders  Norman, and Drunk  Aders  Norman 
knows exactly what to say! 

Drunk  Aders  Norman then looked directly at Craig's girlfriend, he stared at her long and hard, a girl he had known for all of 2 minutes.  And then he said the only logical thing that Drunk  Aders  Norman could say

 Aders  Norman

Never mind eh? Boobs aren’t the be all and end all!

Craigs girlfriend did not reply to this comment, clearly she felt insulted.

Drunk  Aders  Norman then sat back down and told me this story. I of course told him I was going to post it on the blog, he then asked me if I would change his name. So for the purposes of this story I called him Drunk  Aders  Norman. Don't worry mate, no one will ever learn your secret identity.

SUNDAY

Sunday I was hungover. 

Althea bought a new toilet seat.

Personally it scares the crap outta me. (No pun intended.) I keep imagining something out of Little Shop Of Horrors. Have you seen Little Shop of Horrors? If not, why not? it's brilliant!

Also, on Sunday a game of hide and seek got out of hand when Ivano hid under the floor boards.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on Facebook and CLICK HERE.

That's All For Now 

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then one day I will take you on one of my drunken adventures. 

Friendly Friday: Aders

Hi

Hows it goin?

Today I'm gonna talk about Aders.

Urbandictionary.com has 20 definitions of Adrian, the one above was my favourite.

Aders and I met in secondary school. He was lucky enough to sit next to me for standard grade Chemistry and Physics. It was there we became fast friends, mainly due to the fact we both loved Friends and Shooting Stars. In fact it was during a particularly dull chemistry class where Aders declared me a "Friends Guru" after passing a quiz he created.

As you can tell this is something I am very proud of.

Aders and I also share a birthday and a middle name, which I found to be very spooky when he first told me this.

Aders has become an even better friend over the years. As I have mentioned before Drunk Aders is probably one of my favourite people in the world. Their is nothing wrong with Sober Aders, but Drunk Aders is quite often unintentionally funny.

Drunk Aders once attempted to chat up a girl by using the line,

"Have you heard about Andy's dick? It's huge!"

And it worked, I can't remember if he pulled her but he spoke to her for ages, and that's something.

At Kev and Alices engagement party he even attempted to chat up a girl on my behalf. The girl in question was talking to some guy at the bar. So Aders offered to go up to the guy and punch him in the neck to get him away from her. I was much more sober (a rare thing but I promise you it's true) and told him it was alright and not to bother. He ignored me, he walked over to the guy, and panic gripped me. Was he away to start a bar room brawl? Had he been watching The Karate Kid again and got carried away?

He went up to the guy and said,

"Excuse me, my friend wants me to punch you in the neck!"

The guy looked quite confused as I pulled Aders away.

It was a nice gesture tho.

A poem for Aders

I met Aders in secondary school,

we talked about Friends and thought we were cool.

I sat next to him in chemistry for nearly 2 years,

later in life, we shared many beers.

Having Aders as a friend is truly ace,

don't talk to my girl, or he'll punch you in the face!

Here's a video that I hope Aders will enjoy.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

Thats All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you don't subscribe then you are the mayor of loserville!

I think I'm getting married

Hi.

Hows it goin?

Someone commented to me lately that this blog is meant to be "The Drunken adventures of a mature student" and i haven't talked about any drunken escapades lately.

I decided to remedy that.

As some of you will know I recently tried to give up drinking until December.

Well last night I fell off the wagon. Well maybe not fell off, so much as jumped off.

I willfully jumped off the wagon into a pool of drunkenness and it was wonderful.

It occurs to me that I have mentioned the restaurant where I work a few times in the past and no doubt will continue to do so in the future. Just as I did with The Tapas Towers, I feel should give the restaurant a suitable pseudonym, other than "The Restaurant." So henceforth The Restaurant which is good enough to employ me on a part time basis which allows me to take out all my frustrations on all the incredibly stupid customers who I am fairly certain get more irritating as life goes on, shall be known as Vincents. After the owner Vinnie. The owners name is not Vinnie but this is something Adam came up with a few years ago after meeting him. He said he seems like a Vinnie. Which in some respects he does.

So last night was just another fun filled friday night at Vincents, We had a large party of norweigans who took up most of my time. We get a shit load of Norski's in Vincents, I'm fairly certain that we are the unofficial norweigan embassy in Aberdeen. It's good business i suppose but 9 times out of 10 they are always so fucken rude. One guy clicked his fingers at me last night. I asked him if he was looking for his dog and then i left him to it.

Now good reader, you are obviously an incredibly wise and intelligent person, this is obvious because you have chosen to read my blog. Let me tell you this, NEVER EVER click your fingers or whistle to get attention in a restaurant. You will be ignored, or if your not ignored then more than likely something unpleasant will happen to your food.

I have never sabotaged a meal or drink in any restaurant i have worked in, but i know plenty of people who have.

Have you ever seen the movie Waiting. It's brilliant. buy it right now!

It will show what some waiters are really like. I have heard stories from friends about almost identical things that happen in this movie.

Anyway, I digress.

Back to last night.

I wasn't planning on drinking, it just sort of happened. I initially stopped because when Sean was visiting i was drunk every day. So i stopped altogether and life was just dull. so last night after work i thought FUCK IT! lets go get fucked up! This was also inspired by Ian the new manager at Vincents insisting we have a bottle of wine with our staff meal after work, by insisting i mean suggesting. So we drank that between 3 of us and then headed down to the club below Vincents, it was bollywood night. It wasn't very busy but there were a few hotties in, and the girls on the dance floor were going mental! I mean proper mental. I don't mean insane mental, I mean dancing mental (just so we're clear). I talked before about my friend Ian from edinburgh, when he came up to help me move my stuff to aberdeen, I discovered that he's got more moves than my friend Marks bowels after a curry, well sorry mate, I don't think you could keep up with these girls.

So after a couple of ciders (i'm told there less fattening) I decided to head home. But as i was leaving i remembered something, something my partially drunk brain thought was very, very important.

Earlier that day i got a text from my mate Nick asking if I wanted to come round to his house for a few drinks and then head into town. I was forced to say no because i was working, but surely everyone else can't be working. They all have "proper jobs" where they don't have to work on friday nights. I fired off a few texts.

"anyone out tonight?"

The always sarcy bugger Dave simply replied "yes"

I eventually discovered the boys were indeed out on the razz ma tazz and we arranged to meet in Espionage.

Now there has always been a problem with me working in the restaurant then going out after. I might finish work around 11:30 and have a beer or 2 when im done, but by this point all the boys have been drinking for 3 and a bit hours. So when I eventually met them they were all truly buckled and i was only tipsy.

Nick in particular was truly out of it. Nick was out with his fiancee Karen and one of her mates, a blond girl. A couple of the guys were sleazing on her like there was no tomorrow. Goggs at one point seemed quite chuffed with himself when he had been talking to her for 5 minutes straight and she hadn't run away. The look on her face however told another story. Now I don't know if it was deliberate or not, but for some reason, Goggs poured some of his drink down blondies top. No one knows why. He spilt some down her and then turned to face us with a massive grin on his face. He seemed quite chuffed with his actions. I think he may have been trying to initiate some kind of tribal mating custom. I don't think he pulled her, good on him for trying an original approach tho. It was good night, even tho I'm not working as much, i am still not going out enough, this is mainly due to funds, but fuck it. Might as well be like every there student out there and get into shitload of debt. Another highlight of last night was getting to see Drunk Aders, Drunk Aders is perhaps one of my favourite people. He is highly entertaining while intoxicated. At one point during the evening he said pulled me over saying he needed to tell me a secret. I'm always one for a bit of gossip so leaned over, fully expecting him to tell me he's coming out of the closet or he is secretly in love with a goat or something of equal interest.

"i think i'm a little bit drunk."

Well I'm lad he told me because at this point i hadn't noticed, I thought all the struggling to stand up and slurring of words was a medical condition.

by this point it was around 1:30 am, and i was starting to catch up with everyone (drunkenness wise) and i got a phone call. Now its not unusual for me to get a phone call at half one in the morning when you knows as many drunkards as I do, but oddly the number was withheld.

I couldn't hear a thing down the phone. I moved to a quieter area and still couldn't hear anything. it was a bit of a bad line, this added to the fact i was in a night club and i was a tad drunk did not equal an intelligent conversation. I could barely make out what they were saying.

it sounded like a woman, she sounded foreign, but i couldn't tell where from. i asked who she was and the line kept crackling and i couldn't hear her response. I thought maybe it was my friend Caryn from south africa, I havent heard from her in ages.

"CARYN IS THAT YOU?" i screamed down the phone.

I just couldn't make out what she was saying.

I don't think it was her.

i heard her say "Andy Graham" so obviously she has the right number, and i heard her say something about Aberdeen college, thought it was one of my classmates, i shouted a few of there names down the phone but i couldn't hear the response.

I apologised alot and explained i couldn't hear them, i suppose i could have walked outside the club to talk to them in a much quieter place, but bugger that. It was raining outside and i had a drink in my hand.

"I'm really sorry i can't understand you, its a really bad line. If i know you i'm sure I love you very much and i will talk to you again soon."

This seemed to get there attention

I could barely hear her say "you love me?"

I shouted down the phone

"i'm sure if i know you then hell yeah probably love you, but if this is a wrong number then i probably don't, no offence"

and then i am 99% certain she asked if i wanted to marry her.

"that means you'll fuck me right?"

I couldn't hear the response, i can only assume it was yes.

I hope she's not fat.

So i think i said i would marry her. I only wish I knew who it was.

so if my fiancee is out there, maybe try giving me another call, and letting me know your name, and letting me know whether or not you are a minger, if you are then the wedding is probably off. Ill still have the stag do tho. Adam of course would be the best man, he's had the speech planned for years. And I his. The best thing about my speech for Adams wedding is it is almost identical to his eulogy (i think thats how you spell it, im not a eugoogliser).

"I can't believe Adam is married/ is dead" (delete as appropriate)

In other news the hunt for Dave Bailey continues, So far I have learned that he is not in greece and that everyone agrees he is a fucking legend.

Here's one of my favourite songs which i think all the boys from last night can relate to

If you can't see any of the videos on this page then stop reading this crap on facebook and go here

There was no real point to this blog entry, in all honesty i am just killing time while i wait for the Latest episode of Stargate Universe to download, have you been watching it? its fucken brilliant!

Thats all for now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to subscribe to all the crap i write and get it delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email in the subscribe box.

Your life might just depend on it!