A few weeks ago I had a conversation with Laura which I thought I would share with you. She was having a business dinner, and it was at a Spanish Tapas Restaurant. (Sadly it wasn't Tapas Towers.) Laura had never had Tapas before, so she asked me how it worked. I explained how Tapas usually works, everything comes in small portions, and usually everyone just shares everything. I explained how the menu worked, and that it is split into three sections. Vegetarian Tapas
Seafood Tapas
and Meat Tapas.
To which she asked,
"Do they not have chicken?"
Last time I checked chicken was a meat. At least it is in Aberdeen, she is from a small village called Portlethen and maybe things are different out there in the sticks?
I also found this video made by a former staff member at Tapas Towers. It's an animation of a conversation that every staff member has had with a customer at least 200 times. For some reason the animation is set in an office, I'm not sure why. Maybe Tapas Towers are branching out?
If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to http://www.theblogofandyg.com/ and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then you will receive a free sample of tapas in the post.
A picture and a letter? Well regular readers should know I am pretty good at writing letters. I have decided against a shameless plug for MY BOOK. Instead I have opted to give you a letter I wrote last August, to Lothian Buses. This was written whilst I was working at Tapas Towers for the festival in August 2010. Regular readers will remember this is not the first time I've had problems with a bus company.
Dear Lothian Buses,
Good day. I hope this letter finds you well and you are enjoying the Festival atmosphere in Edinburgh. I am sorry to say I am not writing just to say that. I am highly annoyed with one of your drivers. I am in Edinburgh working for the festival. I had just finished a 13 hour shift, during which time I only had time to eat half a sandwich, and not a very good sandwich either. I finished work at 10:30pm and was starving. Knowing I didn't have any food in the house I opted for a Macdonalds. Not something I usually do but I was hungry and it is quick.
I did not want to sit in the restaurant at that time of night with all the drunkards, so I got my meal to take away so I could take it home and eat in some peace in front of the tv. The number 22 bus to ocean terminal arrived at Princes Street stop opposite The Balmoral Hotel at 22:45. I boarded, but I was told by the driver I was not allowed on board with take away food. Why? I was not planning on eating on board the bus. I was clearly not intoxicated, or under the influence of any illegal substances. I had just had a very long day and wanted to go home and eat my crappy cheeseburger. I have taken food on board your bus's before and this has never been a problem. Just yesterday when I took the bus home after another incredibly long day, the couple in the seat behind me had fish and chips, this did not bother me nor any of the other passengers. I was told by your driver that take away food is not permitted. I asked how I was meant to get home, he said that I should enjoy my meal and get the next bus. Enjoy my meal? Where?
In the Bus stop?
With all the drunkards passing by?
What the hell?
Is this a joke of some kind?
This is ridiculous!
I offered to put my food in my backpack until I reached my destination, but the driver simply said no. I am very angry at this.
All I wanted to do was get home after an incredibly long day and eat my crappy meal in peace, and your driver robbed me of that very simple pleasure.
When I boarded the next bus the guy in front of me was carrying a bag from Burger King.
WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?
Is this some form of prejudice just against Macdonalds? I would like an explanation as to the behaviour of this driver?
Is this a policy that exists?
If so, why is it not enforced all the time?
The couple with Fish and Chips got to go home.
The guy with the Burger King got to go home.
But I did not.
I was forced to eat my meal in the very uncomfortable bus stop.
This is bang out of order!
And thats not a sentence I use lightly. I am a frequent user of your buses and have sung your companies praises on more than one occasion. I am from Aberdeen and the bus service up in the Granite city is crap. Far more expensive and much less reliable. But they don't have a problem with you taking your dinner home. I am extremely disappointed in your company and with this driver. I am seriously considering simply walking from now on. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this matter. Kind Regards Andy Graham Irritated Traveller
Thank you for your comments regarding the actions of the driver on the Service 22 on 13 August 2010.
Firstly, may I apologise for the incident that you encountered. I was most concerned by the event you described and have investigated as fully as possible. There is official documentation on the drivers cab door that clearly states in both wording and signage that hot food and drinks are not permitted, however this notice is to try and deter passengers from bringing food and drink on to our vehicles. You are perfectly entitled to travel onboard our vehicles with food as long as it is in a bag and it is not consumed onboard the vehicle.
Unfortunately on this occasion the driver’s behaviour fell far below the standard that is acceptable from an employee of this Company, and for this I can only apologise. I have taken the necessary steps to ensure this does not happen again, and I will also ask our Driving Standards Officer to carry out checks in all aspects of his work. I can assure you that this Company trains staff to a high level and acts strongly against those members who fail to maintain the standard required. I trust that you will allow me to deal with this matter accordingly.
On behalf of Lothian Buses Plc, please again accept my sincere apologies for the lack of professionalism and for any embarrassment caused, and I am grateful that you have taken the time to bring this matter to our attention.
Yours sincerely
A. Person
Lothian Buses 0 - Andy G 1
Although I would have appreciated a free bus pass or something.
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe." If you do subscribe then you will get a complimentary head massage.
This is the story of a not very interesting evening at Vincents several months ago.
It was a quiet night, which these days is kinda the norm. We had about 40 people in. It was myself and three waitress's working. Generally being the lazy git that I am, I tend to do very little work. The waitress's will vouch for this. I make sure everything runs smoothly, check to make sure everyone is happy and if someone complains and asks if I'm the manager I always give the same answer.
"No. I"m not the manager, I'm just in charge right now."
It's very relaxing.
Also if anyone ever wants to make a complaint about me, I use a trick I learned from my days at Tapas Towers.
I tell them my name is Phil.
Anyway as I was saying, on this particular night it was myself and three waitress's on duty, now I'm not on duty during the day so I turn up at 5pm and just start service, I organise nothing. Which is why the bar was once again not stocked up and the wine list was entirely inaccurate.
A table of 8 women had ordered two bottles of a South African Sauvignon Blanc that was out of stock, I went over and explained that we were out and that the wine list was wrong. They said that's not good enough and I simply agreed with them.
"You're absolutely right ladies. It's not good enough, it should be marked on the wine list. But I didn't know it was out of stock until you just ordered it."
"Are you the manager here?" A fat woman asked.
"No ma'am. I'm just in charge tonight, I take no responsibility for the restaurant other than getting you fed tonight and locking the door when I go home."
"What's your name?" She asked.
"Phil."
At which point another woman at the table chimed in with,
"That's strange, because last time I was here, your name was Andy."
"That's my brother."
I don't think they believed me, but I gave them a decent deal on a much better wine than what they had ordered so they seemed to be liking me.
Which is understandable.
I am a miserable git most of the time but when I turn on the charm I can be the cheesiest of cheesy waiters.
So I got them two bottles of much better wine at an incredibly cheap price and started pouring for everyone. I went round the table checking that they actually wanted wine and poured them a glass. Then I came to one woman who was reading the menu. I asked if she was having wine and she ignored me. I asked again and she continued to ignore me.
I then basically shouted "Hello!"
Not in a rude way, just in a trying to get her attention kind of way. Still she ignored me. What a bitch! I left her glass empty and continued to pour for the other ladies.
When I got round to the other side of the table the woman who ignored me lifted up her glass and demanded it be filled.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I did ask but you didn't say anything so I assumed you didn't want any wine." I said rather smugly.
"I didn't hear you. I'm deaf." She replied in her deaf persons voice.
I poured her her glass of wine and then announced,
"Well as I said ladies if you need anything else, my names Phil."
I never returned to the table.
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then one day I will take you to Vincents and give you a complimentary glass of the cheapest wine we have to offer.
From October 2008 to August 2009 I lived in Edinburgh, I returned for the month of August 2010 to work in Tapas Towers for the festival. Here are some random pics from my time in Scotland's capitol.
I had just finished a busy shift at Tapas Towers, when I got home around 1 am, this is how I found Adam.
It's hard to tell but he is actually asleep.
I was out for a run and noticed this boarded up building.
it was the biggest can available. We called it the Mega Bull.
Was out for a pint with Adam and Jonny Torpedo and I noticed that Adam had vanished. He had not been seen for nearly 15 minutes. I text him to ask where he was, concerned that he may have been kidnapped. We have super secret codewords for such situations. This is how he replied.
Jonny Mountain and my mate Dave in the pub when they were passing through town.
We got a bit bored in the flat one night,
and then Jonny Torpedo found tube of hair removal cream.
Now this isn't a terribly exciting picture, its just a steak sandwich and a bowl of chips. But I was genuinely excited when I ate this steak sandwich and bowl of chips. This was probably the greatest lunch I ever had while working at Tapas Towers. Mainly because it wasn't tapas.
The German waitress from Tapas Towers had a headache, she tried to cure it by holding a glass to her head. Apparently this was an ancient German ritual.
The view from our living room
A very strange order.
I spotted a sign for this pub, perhaps the Anonymous Teuchter drinks here?
Adam and Jonny in bed together. The scary thing is, that's my bed.
Adam trying to look cool. And failing.
Dr Kev, Mark and Jonesy when they came down for the flat warming. Why Mark has that expression on his face remains a mystery.
That's All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then maybe one day your picture will be on the blog.
My time at Tapas Towers has ended, for a second time. I spent all of August back at my old employers in Edinburgh. I am now knackered. It was the most I have ever worked, ever. It was the busiest the restaurant has ever been since it opened.
For those of you who work in the restaurant industry, imagine the busiest shift you've ever worked. Now double it. Now add 12. It was even busier than that!
This temporary job could not have come at a better time. As regular readers will know I have been broke for the better part of the past year. This was four weeks full time work plus tips. I haven't come out that much ahead as most of this cash went towards paying my rent and various bills. But It's more than I would have made if I stayed in Aberdeen for the summer. I must say a big thanks to my pal Ailsa who found me somewhere to stay while I was down.
This picture was taken about 4 minutes after she finished her shift. Yes that glass of wine on the table was hers. A customer invited her to sit down for a drink and she said it would be rude not to. Strange thing was it was her anniversary. So while her man waited at home with a nice meal ready for her. She sat down with some folk in the restaurant and had a couple of glass's of vino.
Tsk Tsk.
Some of the highlights of my last week in Tapas Towers included a guy with a University of Aberdeen Credit Card, who's name was Robert Gordon.
I found this quite amusing.(Robert Gordons is the name of the other university in Aberdeen)
When serving tapas if two people order the same dish most of the time the kitchen will put them into a larger dish in order to save space on the table. This conversation took place a few days ago.
Me: Hi folks I 've got both portions of Patatas Bravas in the one dish here, so that's a double portion, alright?
Blonde Lady: Yes that's us.
Brunette Lady: Double portion?
Me: Yes we put both portions in the one dish in order to save space on the table.
Brunette Lady: Can you send them back to the kitchen and spilt them into two dishes please?
Blonde Lady: Don't be so stupid, we'll just share.
I think Blonde Lady may be one of my favourite ever customers. She said exactly what I wanted to.
I also had a debate with a woman about whether or not we served Piri Piri Prawns. She claimed to have had them last time she was in. I suggested that it was probably the Gambas Pil Pil. (Hot roast peeled prawns with olive oil, fresh chillies & garlic.) She insisted that she ordered the Piri Piri Prawns. I pointed out that Piri Piri was Portuguese and we were a spanish restaurant. She said that's the same thing. I ordered her the Gambas Pil Pil and never spoke to her again.
On Saturday night we had a table of 12 women. It was a birthday party for a woman claiming to be forty but was clearly at least fifty. They brought a birthday cake along and asked for it to be served after the main course. When it came time to serve the cake one of the birthday girls friends came over and asked if she could take it over saying, "I told them I made it." I of course assumed she was joking. It was a generic chocolate birthday cake from Marks and Spencers. No one would believe she made it, unless they were a fucking mong.
She took the cake over and the birthday girl blew out the candles and then they asked for one of us to cut up the cake and serve it to them. This was not exactly the most convenient time as we were currently incredibly busy and more tables were on the way, but they were insisting. So one of the waiters stopped everything and cut up the cake and served it to them.
Some was left over and the birthday girls friend came up to me and asked if I could keep it in the restaurant until tomorrow. I said that would be no problem and that I would put it back in the box and leave it at the front door for her to pick up tomorrow.
"Don't put it in the box." She shouted
"Why?"
"I told them I made it myself, just put it in some cling film."
I gave a little chuckle still under the impression that she was joking. She was not.
She really wanted me to wrap it in cling film so it would look lie she made it herself. Her friends must be really stupid.
While this table was paying the bill and getting ready to leave I had to take out another birthday cake. This was to a table right beside them, and this birthday cake was pretty nice. It was in the shape of a hat with guitars all over it. It looked amazing. The "forty" year olds table had the bitchiest look I have ever seen. They had clearly been outdone.
The "forty" year olds table left a truly crappy tip. The bill was over £200 and they left about £2. Thats a fucking disgrace. I left her cake at the front door for her to pick up the next day, I made sure that I left it IN the box so everyone could see that she clearly went and spent £5 in marks and spencers, and that she had NOT made it with her own two hands and she was a dirty filthy liar!
The girl with the good birthday cake also asked me if she could leave what was left of her cake in the restaurant. I took the cake downstairs but was worried that perhaps that someone might come down and pick up the wrong cake. I came up with an ingenious labelling system.
On Sunday I got asked the stupidest question I have ever been asked. Not just in a restaurant but in life.
I had a table of seven, they were easy enough to serve, and they had alright banter. Eventually it came time for dessert, a couple of cheesecakes a chocolate mousse, a creme brulee and a vanilla ice cream. I put them on the table and never thought any more about it. Then a couple of minutes later one of them complained. This was a genuine complaint I received from a real customer.
"Excuse me, my ice cream is too cold."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"My ice cream it's too cold, can it be warmed up."
I swear on my life this is the exact conversation I had with this guy. And he was clearly serious. This wasn't a joke.
What a fucking moron!
It's called ICE cream, not cream.
What a fucking idiot.
"Sorry sir, I can't do much about that."
He then looked quite disappointed and went into a little sulk.
A sulk?
What the fuck?
It's FUCKING ICE CREAM YOU FUCKING FOOL!!
Next time just order a jug of cream!
Some of the people on his table found this quite amusing but he clearly did not.
What was I supposed to do?
He wanted warm ice cream.
He's clearly a "special needs" individual.
In his defence he was only 7. But he's still an idiot!
The rest of Sunday went quite quickly, one of the waiters found something which took his fancy. I think it suits him.
And then Patricia and I decided to do a little something to entertain our guests.
If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE
I had a great month back at Tapas Towers and I am sure I'll end up back their when I eventually get chucked out of school for having very little talent.
Last time I left Tapas Towers I wrote a poem. This time I'm not gonna do that. No offence. I just can't be arsed. I'm knackered. I'll get round to doing something eventually. Promise.
Thats All For Now
Until Next Time
Have A Nice
Andy G
If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then you will (if all goes according to plan) receive the super secret email about my super secret project within the next few days.
