(Girl) Friendly Friday: Laura

Hi 

How's it goin? 

Haven't done a Friendly Friday in a while, and since she hasn't asked for one lately, I think it's about time she had her turn.

Today's Friendly Friday is all about Laura. A.K.A. The Girlfriend.

Laura and I met several years ago at an Aberdeen pub based version of Pop Idol. Laura was one of the judges on the panel. I am unsure as to why as her singing is......unique. I was at the final of this event as it was being held at the bar Rushton was a manger of at the time.

Even though we have known each other for years we only started seeing each other 6 months ago. Better late than never. In those 6 months, here are the top 8 things I have learned about her. Why 8 I hear you ask? Because 10 is too many and 5 is not enough.

1: She hates Oliver Twist, calling him a "Greedy little shit!"

2: Just like me, she is a very good poet.

3: She hates Jessica Fletcher.

4: She rolls her eyes more than any other human being on the planet. (Usually at something I have just said.)

5: She really likes Goulash.

6: She drinks more tea than any other human being on the planet. 

7: She is a very unique dancer.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

8: She loves a good frape

I will always forgive her for the occasional frape, as she is by far the coolest girlfriend ever. She got me two of the greatest presents ever.

Present 1

We are going to London for a few days at the end of June. She bought me this:

I'm going to the Doctor Who Experience in London!!

How ace is that?

If you don't like Doctor Who then don't answer that last question.

I also got this a couple of weeks ago.

I was intrigued, what could this be? And where did Laura get such wonderful wrapping paper?

And then I opened the present, and sat back in awe. 

A duck in a superman costume!

How ace is that??

Everyone knows I love ducks. 

Laura and I are returning to Goulash tomorrow night. If anything interesting happens I'll be sure to let you know.

That's All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to http://www.theblogofandyg.com/ and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then one day you will get a Friendly Friday. Eventually.

A Christmas Poem

Hi 

How's it goin? 

It's very rare that I post twice on the same day, but inspiration just came to me and I wanted to share this festive poem with you. As you may know, tomorrow is Christmas. If you didn't know that, you're a fucking mong!

I'm heading out tonight for a friends birthday/christmas eve night out with a few of my mates. Last year on the very same night out I somehow found myself in competition with Dave to see who could get drunker. 

I think he won.

As I mentioned in my previous post, my family don't actually like me, which is understandable I am a bit of a knob, so tomorrow I shall spend the day in bed, with what will most likely be a truly epic hangover. The good thing about this is, I can actually spend all day in bed. Not worrying about looking presentable for christmas lunch, or helping with anything, or buying people presents. So tomorrow, all I ask is that no one calls or texts me with stupid christmas wishes. I shall take it as granted that you all wish me a merry christmas. Plus my phone will most likely be switched so as to ensure that nothing can waken me from my drunken slumber!

Anyway, without further delay, I present to you:

A Christmas Poem.

T'was the night before christmas,

Andy went out to get pissed.

Tomorrow for lunch, 

he wouldn't be missed.

He'll spend the day,

hungover in bed.

Moaning away,

about his soar head.

So please don't text, 

And please don't call.

or you'll be the next,

person I maul.

So I say Fuck Christmas,

and I say Fuck you,

I'm off for a drink,

or maybe two.

That's All For Now 

Until Next Time

Have A Nice 

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you'll get all these lovely uplifting blogposts delivered straight to your inbox!

my book is even cheaper!

Hi

How's it goin? 

Good news.

My book is now ever cheaper!

Since I am such a nice guy, I have reduced the price. My book is now only £5.

Yes you read that right, only £5!

Talk about a bargain!

And it gets better.

I can offer you, dear reader of this blog, 25% off for the next few days.

Christmas is coming, why not buy in bulk and give one to everyone you know for Christmas?

25% off until November 29th 2010.

Simply use discount code: CYBERUK 

So with 25% off that's only £3.75! 

That's hardly anything to pay for 172 pages of wonderfulness!

For more info on my book and for a link to the page to buy it, simply CLICK HERE.

I realised recently that I haven't done one of my trademark shitty poems for a while, so here ya go.

Christmas is coming,

the goose is getting fat.

Christmas carols you'll be humming,

I fucking hate that.

Buying presents for Mum and Dad?

How about a book that's not half bad?

I'm being nice,

and discounting my book.

Now it's low price,

you should give it a look.

If anyone is actually interested in buying multiple copies of my book the let me know and I will give you can ever bigger discount.

E-mail me

Andy@randomandom.com

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then you will have a truly terrible christmas, that's not my fault, I don't make the rules.

Back to school: Year 2 Week 3

Hi

How's it goin?

I'm gonna be totally honest, this week I have done very little.

Monday I had my work experience class, where I sat. And that's about it. I essentially sat down for 90 minutes. I then went home and finished watching the last season of How I Met Your Mother.

Have You ever seen that show? It's very good.

Tuesday I was off, and determined to do something productive. So I went for a cycle. I was going to cycle all the way to Banchory and back (about 30 miles round trip) But the weather wasn't the best, I cycled 5 miles it started to rain and I got in a huff and turned back.

And that my friends was the highlight of my Tuesday.

I spent the rest of the day at home very bored.

I decided to try and make a celebrity friend via Twitter. I would spend all day tweeting if necessary. I would tweet all day, I would tweet all night. I would not rest until I made a new celebrity friend. I would ask celebrities questions, reply to comments, today is the day I make a celebrity friend. Within 5 minutes I got a reply from Dave Gorman

Look at that! He replied within ONE MINUTE! He must be very keen to be my friend. I suspect we'll meet up for a pint soon. Maybe he'll even ask me to be on his radio show. I was asking Dave (yeah I can call him Dave) about the new series of his TV show Genius. The last series was very good and the next one promises to be better.

If you can't see the video below then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

It is also going to feature my good friend, Ian S Davidson. And by good friend, I mean internet acquaintance. 

So with the challenge of making a new celebrity friend complete I found myself bored again. One of the barmen from Vincents sent me a link to this video. I have chosen to name it BEST DEATH EVER!

I also found this clip from the same movie.



If you can't see the video clips above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE


And that was my Tuesday.


Wednesday was a good day, I think it's shaping up to be my favourite day of the week. Class begins at 9:30am which is a pain in the arse, but we get to spend all morning in the studio playing with cameras, which is great fun. And in the afternoon we have script writing, and then we work on our various films in our production groups. Our teacher is now back in school so we got some proper work done. Well almost. I suspect in the next few weeks Wednesday will become mental.


Thursday is yet another day off. It's a tough life being a student. I did very little during the day. I was very keen to go out for a pint but all my mates are quite dull. So I went out for a beer with my future ex wife, Ilaria. She told me about some of the nutters she works with. They sound proper insane.
This may be because she works in the local mental institution. It sounds like a lot of fun. One guy apparently communicated with her through the medium of dance. He then asked her for permission to speak and then asked how the president was doing. That's quite considerate of him.


Friday I was back in the studio for the afternoon which was good fun. I spent the first two hours as a camera man and then as an interviewee. After the fun and games of The Alphabet Song, we have moved onto an interview. This is another directing exercise where we record a studio interview as if it was going out live. It's good fun. I was meant to be getting interviewed about life as a student at Aberdeen college. During the course of my interview I plugged my book several times (still available), Mentioned pineapples several times and told the interviewer how much I would like to smash in the skulls of the public who annoy me at the restaurant. I'll try and get hold of a copy and put it online for your viewing pleasure.


Not many exciting pictures were taken this week. I'll try and get something more interesting for next week.

The other day I received this tweet from my class mate Struan.

Sorry mate, as I told KP, that's not the deal. You buy my book, then you get a Friendly Friday written about you. And only if you provide proof of purchase.

A Poem about this week.

Didn't do much, at school this week.

Watched some TV, I'm such a geek.

Spent 90 minutes in my class,

Spent 90 minutes sitting on my ass.

Played around, in the studio,

I'm just learning, I don't have a clue(dio).

Went out for a bike ride,

made a celebrity friend.

To a tweet he replied,

and that was the end.

That's All For Now 


Until Next Time 


Have A Nice 


Andy G 


If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."


If you do subscribe then I will draw a picture of you, a proper picture, I'll colour it in and everything, and post it on the blog! How's that for an incentive!

Friendly Friday: KP

Hi 

How's it goin? 

This weeks Friendly Friday is all about my classmate KP, and is a direct result of blackmail.

Those of you who follow me on facebook or read the blog yesterday may have seen this:

Well KP did buy my book, so as promised here is a blog entry about her.

KP and I met one year ago, when I returned to school. One of our first conversations involved star wars, and I could not believe that she had not seen it. To the best of my knowledge she still has not.

Kp is also somewhat of an inspiring artist:

I have put this picture on the blog before, and it still scares me. I believe that this picture is glimpse into KP's mind, which scares the crap outta me.

Kp won an award last year, along with our classmate Laurence. The two of them created a film called The Green Eyed Monster which won the celtic media festival. I was tempted to enter something into the festival but never got round to it. I am glad I didn't, as I don't have nearly as much talent as these two guys.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

Now for some reason KP wanted me to write a poem, and not just any poem. A poem about her, and not just any poem about her, a poem about her left ear.

KP has ears, both left and right.

They often listen, to me speak shite.

Her hair changes colour,

about once a week.

She's a trendy girl, 

and not a Star Wars Geek.

Her hair was once purple,

then blonde, then red.

Kp really has,

a multicoloured head.

Recently she changed the colour to blue,

why she did this I have no clue.

So now for the part, 

about KP's left ear.

It's just like the right one,

it helps her to hear.

That's the end of this crap poem, 

sorry it's crap, but please don't moan.

I must apologise for the quality of that poem, it really was crap wasn't it? Sorry about that. I'm really tired, I've got a lot on right now ya know.  And it was a poem about a Fooking left ear. What did you expect?

That's All For Now 

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."


If you want to be included in Friendly Friday then you need to buy my book, them's the rules!

Sad times

Hi 

Hows it goin? 

As regular readers will know, I am broke and I am selling stuff on Ebay. I spent yesterday morning and a couple of hours late last night packing up 80 of my DVDs.

It really is very emotional. 

So far from my sales I have made about £450, I've paid about £100 on postage and I owe e-bay around £70 in fees. I still have about £70 owed to me from people who have yet to pay for items. So overall it's been worthwhile. 

Out of the DVD's I listed 72 were unsold. I plan on putting these back up next week along with some other stuff I've had lying around. 

Although it sounds like a lot of money has been made, it really hasn't. The money I made doesn't cover my monthly bills so I'm still having financial problems. And to top it off the restaurant is closed for the next two weeks so that means no wages. It looks like I am going to be on a diet for the next few weeks, not just cos I am a fat bastard but because I can't afford to eat.

I really am very sad about selling my DVD's, we've been together a long time. 

A poem to say goodbye to my DVDs

Goodbye my DVD's, you will be missed,

you kept me entertained, while I was getting pissed.

Now you're all available, on e-bay,

going to new home far, far away.

I'm truly sorry to see you go.

I love you all, I'm sure you know.

Sadly now I am broke,

I need the money from e-bay folk.

I hope you all sell, for a good price,

Until next time, have a nice.

Here's a song about e-bay

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

Thats All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then one day I shall cook for you my famous pasta de la Andy. It's very nice.

Friendly Friday: Bob

Hi 

Hows it goin? 

Haven't done a Friendly Friday in a wee while. So here's one all about Bob, not to be confused with Bob of Bobs Big Bus Company. This is the original, and the best.

Bob, he's indescribable. But I'll give it a go.

Bob and I met on the QE2, both being scottish we immediately became friends.

In his hay day he was a sexual dynamo, he always had a minimum of 2 women on the go, this was quite awkward when he was onboard ship, he usually had one woman at the front of the ship and one woman at the back. (That's where the women lived on board the ship, not some kind of code for weird sex acts.) When we worked together he used to take great pleasure in sharing his sleazy sex stories with me during lunch service. I think the passengers enjoyed it to.

These day's he is much more domesticated. With the exception of the odd arrest every now and then, and an ex girlfriend who tried to kill him with a sword, he lives a fairly normal life. A few years ago he one young scottish hotel manager of the year. To get that award I am told you have to suck a hell of a lot of cock, but that shouldn't be a problem for Bob. He is omni sexual, he'll shag anything that moves. Here's a pic of him trying to get it on with Adam. (and succeeding)

I was very proud when Bob won that award, we shared a cabin on the ship for 6 months and obviously some of my professionalism rubbed off on him. Unfortunately none of his skills with the ladies rubbed off on me.

I do not mean rubbed off in a literal sense, that would be disgusting. 

Bob is very much the daddy of our drinking team. He looks after us when we need it. When Adam left the ship for several months because he was ill Bob stepped up and filled the role of person who has to keep an eye on Andy. And he did well. Someone has to keep an eye on me, I can't look after myself.

But like all great men, Bob does have a weakness. He snores. A lot. And loudly. It's unbelieveable, how he hasn't brought his own house down yet I do not know.

During Ian's stag do, 7 of us shared a room. We attempted to come up with a solution to Bob's snoring.

We constructed a sound proof barrier around his bed. It didn't really work. But at 1:30 am, after we had been drinking heavily, this seemed like the greatest idea in the world.

It's easy to grin,

when Bob comes in.

And he tells you another sleazy sex tale.

But what makes it worth while,

is when you can smile,

when he finds out the girl was not a female.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

That poem is of course NOT based in fact, to the best of my knowledge Bob is not a gay, nor has he had sex with any hermaphrodites. 

Here's a video featuring the one and only Bob, if you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on Facebook and CLICK HERE!

Thats All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then one day I will feature you in Friendly Friday, honest.