How was your weekend? Did u drink too much again? You have a bit of a problem.
I have discovered that a lot more people than I realised have been reading this blog. Bloody hell you guys must be really fucken bored! Anyway to protect people’s privacy I will occasionally change the name of the people I am referencing. If you have a preference for your pseudonym then please let me know.
So I’m just back from my trip to the deen. It was ace, after a surprisingly pleasant bus journey ( I got a double decker, also known as the stretch limo of the bus world)
First act of business was to check out my new flat, its about 20 minutes from city centre, im not going to give you the exact address because you might be a crazy stalker who wants to come round, peel off my skin and wear it to your birthday. Here’s my new front door, and thats all the info you will get out of me!
The flat is one of several hundred owned by the real estate queen of Aberdeen, Deardrie. (also known as the crazy flower lady in the restaurant) it’s small but it’ll do. The Kitchen is quite small but that’s not a problem because I’m not much of a chef. The problem is I don’t know where im going to put all my dvd’s!! I do not like throwing out anything and im not sure how im gonna fit all my stuff into this flat.
I’m moving all my stuff in, in a couple of weeks, anyone who is free on Sunday august 9th if you give me a hand you will be rewarded with Beer and the finest take away pizza domino’s has to offer.
Then went to my parents house, I am sure it is shrinking. I haven’t lived there in several years but I remember it being bigger. Went for a run, my dad asked if I was running to the chipper, he does not read the blog so in his mind this was a very original joke,(just not very funny) My Mum made steak pie which was awesome and then I headed into town. My folk’s house is miles away from town but luckily my mum was heading to church (by church I mean bingo, she goes a lot, she has a problem)
I got dropped off at my mates house where we started the night, the way EVERY Saturday night should start, with beer and Doctor Who. My friend is a part time geek, he’s not quite at my level but give him time. We were planning on heading to town as soon as doctor who finished but we both still had half a beer to finish, this led to watching Top Gear and having another beer. Fearing our friends would be angrily waiting for us we left half way thru top gear and headed to the pub. We were around 45 minutes late and we were still the first there. I was quite annoyed, we could have finished watching Top Gear! We started in the old hogs head. It hasn’t been called the hogs head in about 10 years but we still call it that. There were beers galore and the banter was flowing, after a few beers we decided to head to the club where our friend is general manager, it was his birthday and felt we should join him for a birthday drink. He was working so we had the drink for him. It was here I bumped into an old friend of mine. I had not seen her in a couple of years and she seemed to want to escape some bloke who was chatting her up. We went out side for a cigarette, I suddenly remembered I don’t smoke so just tried to blend in with the smokers and look cool. The banter was in full swing and she mentioned she had been reading the blog. She even suggested a new name (something no one else has, bastards) It was quite good, I promised her If I use it I’d buy her a drink. We wandered off together and the next morning I woke up in Portlethen. (a tiny village about 10 miles away). After parting ways with my lady friend I realised I had no idea how to get back to Aberdeen. I asked a woman at the bus stop what time the next bus was and she looked terrified. This may be because there was a strange bearded man smelling of beer talking to her. They don’t like city boys out there!
I eventually got back to my folks house around 1 ish, my dad was good enough to cook me a bacon sandwich, I ate half of it, vomited a bit, then finished the sandwich. I started thinking about all this exercise im doing. There’s no need, ill just vomit after a meal, its genius. I wonder if there’s a name for this diet? After finishing my sandwich I had a well earned nap, unfortunately I slept a bit later than I meant to and missed my dinner reservation with Althea and Ivano. Never mind.
Had some pasta then headed into town to meet up with the restaurant staff. I was still hungover from the night before so I started slowly, with a diet coke and then a red bull before I mustered up the courage to order a beer. Lately I can’t seem to handle my drink, I only had a few beers on sat night with the guys but I was quite drunk. I blame this on lack of sleep and not my lack of drinking ability. Anyway once one of the owners turned up I was not allowed to be such a wimp. She is a tough negotiator and managed to get a decent deal out of the manager for cheap cocktails. We were in revolution which I have not liked in the past, the food and service is almost always shit but the location is good. I was quite impressed with this button.
Althea was disappointed to discover it was for the outside heaters and not a marital aid.
So it was cocktail after cocktail and Althea was getting drunker and drunker. It was great to see some of the old staff again. Joyce was there and seemed chuffed about her reference. And Fingers, one of the barman came along, a few weeks ago there was talk of us moving in together but I have decided I want to live on my own. I can’t be arsed living with people any more, I don’t want to wait for the shower in the morning, I don’t want to clean up someone else’s mess in the kitchen so I can cook my dinner. Plus I am a miserable git so I don’t think I’d be very pleaseant to live with, and I want to run around my house naked.
The night started off slow but eventually a lot of people turned up including one girl who I think was called vagina!
After revolution we all moved to Enigma, some of the staff were already there because they said they couldn’t afford to drink in revolution. I didn’t notice the difference in price but I did notice the difference in music, It was awesome. It appeared to be 80’s night in enigma and I was loving it, among my favourites played were “you can call me Al” and “we didn’t start the fire” by billy joel. I was loving it. A few people couldn’t hack the pace and went home to bed where the rest of us took the party to espionage. It was £2.5 for a cocktail before midnight, we go there around 11:30 and it was dead. It still took about 15 minutes to get a bloody drink. I think this may have been a cunning plan in order to sell us one cheap cocktail and by the time we’ve finished it they are more expensive. Clever. Either that or the bar maid was shit!
it was empty but that didn't stop Althea from wanting to dance
One of the waitress's was impressed with the female budda
After a while the club started to get semi busy so there was a bit of an atmosphere, I had a bit of a boogie and then noticed some kind of disturbance with my drinking buddies at the bar. I mosied on over to investigate and here’s what I gather happened. One of the restaurant staff turned up and demanded the manager who was out with us, go to the restaurant and get her wages. What a bitch! It’s 1 am on a Sunday night, there is no one in the restaurant and she knows that. She could have picked them up yesterday or probably even earlier that day or even the next day, but she demanded that someone go and get them.
Now I admit I had a couple of beers in me by this point and it is very possible I got the wrong end of the stick and this is all just a big mix up. But I don’t think so. I am going to return to work at the restaurant soon and I sincerely hope this girl will be fired before then. The two managers who were out with us went back to the restaurant and this clearly upset some people. So a direct message to this girl!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???
It’s a fucken night out and you come along and demand your wages, fuck off!
Now as I said there is a chance I may have gotten the wrong end of the stick and if so, ermmm sorry for calling you a bitch, I’m sure you’re a lovely person really, and I look forward to working with you in the restaurant and dancing the night away with you at the next staff night out.
I left around 1ish and headed to my favourite late night restaurant,
I like it because it does exactly what it says on the tin. Also I once got a pizza here in less than 30 seconds. The next day I realised that I may have taken someone else’s pizza but I was happy.
So monday morning arrived and I packed my bag and made my way to town, before I left I had arranged a meeting with the owner of the restaurant (Vinnie) to discuss my upcoming triumphant (part time) return to work. It was pouring rain and the thunder was deafening, it was like something out of a movie. I feared this was sign,something terrible was going to happen. Maybe Vinnie won’t let me work there, maybe he hates me, maybe he’s gonna pretend to have the meeting then kill me and harvest my organs, maybe he’s reading this blog and now thinks im a mental!! As the thunder roared in the sky above I saw vinnie approach from a distance, he apologised for being late and we went in. Luckily he did not harvest my organs (they can’t be worth that much, especially the liver) and the meeting went very well, he’s gonna pay me very well and work around college hours, I made a point in saying that college comes first but ill help out as much as I can. He’s going to send me on the personal licence course also. This means more responsibility than I would like but it also means a fun day out learning about drinking!!
So there we have it. My trip to the deen, in a rather boring blog entry .
So that was my trip up to Aberdeen
It really is the place to be seen
I had lots of beer on Saturday
I woke up with a girl, in a town far away.
On Sunday I decided to take it easy
Not drinking as much, not being so sleazy.
I woke up the next day, I was feeling fine
I woke up in the bed, that used to be mine.
That’s all for now, I’ve got to go.
Ill se you all soon, that’s fo sho!!
Sorry that poem is a bit shit ( and yes I do know that most of them are shit but that last line is awful)
Until next time
Have a nice