Sunday, 5 July 2009

shoes and reviews! hey that rhymes!

Evening all
I have just realised something quite frightening. I own and regularly wear 6 different pairs of shoes! 6 pairs? Why does anyone need that many? For years I got by on 2. (pairs that is not shoes) am I becoming a woman? I have my work shoes, my ancient trainers I go running in, a pair of navy trainers a pair of brown slightly dressier shoes, my beige plim sole esque shoes and a pair of black shiny shoes. Bloody hell! What is becoming of me?
Sitting here looking at 6 pairs of shoes
Why so many, I am confused
A pair for runnin
A pair to have fun in
One pair for work
The others I shirk
I’m not exactly sure, what shirk means,
I guess I have the other pair, because they match my jeans.
That still leaves two pairs
But really, who cares?
It’s just a little poem about some shoes
I know it’s crap, but I’ve had a lot of booze.
It’s been a long day for me, I started work at 10 this morning. I know that doesn’t sound early but it really is for me. I am on a slightly different time zone to the rest of the UK. I usually don’t go to bed till around 3 am or later. So 10am for me is like half 6 for you, or 5am if I have been drinking. Work today was long and boring. Something odd is happening, we have been very busy throughout the week but tonight we only had 100 booked, we usually have around 300 booked for a sat night. It’s weird. We did have a couple of strange people in the restaurant today, there was a table of 6 who insisted on moving to another table because one man claimed he couldn’t hear anything anyone was saying, but he was clearly talking to me and understanding everything I was saying. Then we had some scary Germans, at first I thought it may have been a relative of the German Travel journalist I mentioned in a previous blog entry. This woman appeared to be looking after her young grandchildren. I assume they are her grandkids cos they were about 2 and she was about 60. She was very scary. The kids were two blonde twin girls around 2 years old. At one point one of the girls went wandering from the table, no more than 3 feet away while only wearing one shoe, the grandma went mental! She started shouting something in German, I felt like I was watching some kind of WW 2 movie. The two kids were well enough behaved after that. I realised that the grandma was quite old and was probably part of the nazi party when she was younger, this would explain her behaviour, plus the fact that she was entrusted with looking after two blonde hair blue eyed children,( Hitler would have loved these two). After her meal the two kids started running around the deli area and she tried to get them back as she would a dog, she was whistling and patting her leg saying “come, come” but in a scary German accent. The kids were having none of it until she started saying it louder and then shouting something in German, I can only assume it was something like “ come here now or I will report you to the fuhrer!”
We also had a Michael Jackson look a like, fortunately by this time the kids were long gone. By 7pm I was going mental with boredom, I was hopeful we would be busy so I bought a massive can of red bull (I call it the MEGA BULL) but we never got busy enough, I was bouncing off the walls(literally). I was working on the door and since there weren’t that many people coming in, there wasn’t much for me to do. I did enjoy the opportunity to eye up all the talent walking past. I love the summer time, all the good looking women come out to play and they don’t wear much. They are like reverse vampires, they see the sun and they can’t wait to go out and not wear much. It’s pretty awesome.
Serving dinner on a Saturday night
Not very busy, it’s a bit shite
I’m stuck here, workin on the door
Not much happenin, good god it’s a bore.
Looking at the hotties, as they pass
I’d really love, to tap that ass!
See what I did there? “Tap that ass!” Tapas, get it? I’m sure you did. If you didn’t lets face it you must be a fucken mong!
Happy 4th of July to all our American cousins Its good they celebrate independence day, it was a hell of a movie!
Last 4th of July I was hard at work at the Famous Luigi's Grill House in New York. (Sadly it is not famous for the right reasons) It was a bit of a mental day from what I remember, but Luigi's is a bit of a mental place. Americans are quite strange people they love to celebrate being American with holidays like 4th of July, Columbus day, memorial day and a hundred other bullshit holidays, but at the same time they all say they are something else. While I was over there, almost everyone I met claimed to be something else other than American. They were all claiming to be Irish or Italian or German or some other bollocks, when they were all clearly bloody American. They were born in America, there parents were born in America, you are American, I know it’s a pain but someone has to be, who else would the rest of the world laugh at?
I was curious to hear how Luigi’s was getting on since I left, sadly it seems very few of the staff I worked with were allowed to return as the new manager wanted to put his own stamp on things. I did a bit of research and discovered this review.
Posted on 04/04/2009 by: dinerguy
User Rating: 1
Hi my name is Ralph rosenburg i am a new member to menu frog and would like to share one of my experiences at Luigi's Grill well first off i have frequented Luigi's for the past 15 years and the last time i went there for thanksgiving with my wife and 2 kids we had a horrible experience . When we first walked in the manager laughed at my daughter cause shes a slightly retarded (can you still say that?) and overweight and i was appalled and wanted to give him an old country whooping but i proceeded to our table with confidence that it would be a good time like all of the others well . We had a nice waiter to say the least . but the food was ok and suppossed to be unlimited well we were on our forth round of turkey and the waiter told us we couldnt have anymore.I said why not!!! He said sorry its my managers orders so the manager gani came over and said sorry there was miscommunication it will be right over well and when he walked away he burst out laughing and i think he was laughing at my family cause we are all a little overweight. (A little? I have not seen this man but I don’t think I would be able to finish one portion, never mind 4!!) I had also seen a couple of rats the size of footballs running around the joint (possibly hallucinating due to turkey poisoning). When dessert time came my daughter asked for a whole boston cream pie (one boston cream pie typically gives you between 6-8 portions) and again we got denied i was surprised cause they let her do it the year before and now she cant but i let that one slide.The bussers kept trying to take our food away even when we werent finished and again as this was happening i saw that damn manager gani in the corner of my eye across the room snickering at us. All in all bad experience you will never see me there again that is a promise.Unbelievable the manager laughing at us cause we are a fat family .(you should see the owners!!) If you like being tortured while you dine out then this is the place for you but for what its worth youd be better off going to McDonalds!!!!!!!(TRUE)
Well it seems Luigi’s is as good as ever!
4th of July in the USA
Raplh Rosenburg won’t be in Luigi's today.
So that fat man will not be back
Did he leave a good tip? No, he was…………A poor person
The business really depends on the weather
You work hard all day, it feels like forever!
Luigi’s is where fat families, get laughed at
If they saw the owners, they wouldn’t say that.
That’s all for now, my red bull is starting to wear off and im sleepy.
Until next time
Be Cool Like Fonzie
p.s. if anyone actually does read the crap that i'm writing you can subscribe through this website.

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