Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Even More Conversations From The Club


How's it goin?

It's time for another thrilling tale of my adventures in The Club.

It was St Patricks day a couple of weeks ago. A day universally recognised as the day you must go out and drink until you bleed. Just like the irish do. Paddy's day is a busy day in any pub or club, but we were choc a bloc. We were full to capacity before midnight, it was mental. 100% of the customers were blootered. 90% of the customers attempted to get discount by pretending to be Irish.  
There was more drama at the cloakroom, with one girl in tears saying that her purse had been stolen, and along with it, her cloakroom ticket. 
She then took out her purse to show me there was no ticket. I asked her how she got it back if it had been stolen? She claimed that someone found it outside and returned it to her because it had her ID in it. She was crying, a lot, saying her friends had left her, all her cards and money had been stolen, she just wanted her coat and wanted to go home. But with no ticket, she has to wait until the end of the night. I can't risk any mistakes and this drunk girl walking off with the wrong coat.
She then cried louder. Claiming this wasn't fair. Everything had been stolen from her. She then showed me her purse again in an attempt to emphasise her point. The funny thing is, when she showed me her purse I clearly saw a £10 note, and all her bank cards. I pointed this out to her and she said that the thief obviously didn't take everything.

So as I understood the situation, someone stole her purse, but she somehow managed to get it back, and the only thing which was actually stolen was the cloakroom ticket.

She then just cried louder. I told her to wait until the end of the night if she wanted her coat. I never saw her again. 

I suspect she is a con artist.

Last week was yet another busy week at Student Night. It's the last one for a a few weeks as it's easter holidays, so the organisers don't think it's going to be busy. Which is fine by me as it means a Thursday night off.

It was a very busy final night. Full to the brim yet again.
We have started to perform bag checks as people come in now. This is because there is not a week that goes by when I don't find at least one bottle of vodka on the floor at the end of the night. One night I found 3 bottles of vodka and 2 bottles of rose wine. We're not exactly expensive on student night, yet the cheapo students still find the need to sneak in their own stuff. This has led to many people getting to the front of the queue, being asked to check their bags and then disappearing round the corner to down a  bottle of vodka or supermarket wine before they come in.
Classy people.

Some people still manage to get some stuff in however. This past Thursday, two guys were standing at the bottom of the stairs and they dropped a bottle of Buckfast.
Buckfast? Really?

How scummy are you aiming to be?
The bottle smashed all over the floor and the two guys just walked away innocently pretending to know nothing about it. I had the doormen escort them both from the building. They both claimed, 
"I don't drink Buckfast." 
I shouted back at them, 
"Not anymore tonight you're not."
I didn't shout the dickheads bit, they were both bigger than me and they might have been waiting outside for me later.

At the end of the night, the staff and I sat down for another well earned beer. It was this night that I discovered that barmaid Laura, (also known as Bitchface) has another nickname, BJ Laura. I don't know what the BJ stands for, I'll try and find out and let you know asap.
We then discovered what it would be like if BJ Laura/Bitchface was in a relationship with Lewis the Bartender.
If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

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If you do subscribe then I will tell you what the BJ stands for in BJ Laura.

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