Wednesday, 2 March 2011

The Alphabet Pub Crawl


How's it goin? 

This is really a continuation of the post from the other day, Goulash With A Girl.
The reason we were out on this Saturday night, was not just to celebrate the fact that I had a Saturday off. Laura had been invited to a birthday party. So after dinner we were planning on heading up to the party for a bit then hit the town. The problem was, the party was at the other end of town. And Laura, being Laura, was wearing the same pair of shoes she wore the night I walked home in my socks.

I knew that any second the moaning about her feet would start and I would once again be shoeless. So I devised a plan. We would have a pub crawl up to the party, stopping at every pub along the way, his way she would be too busy drinking to realise that her feet were in pain.
The theme was the Alphabet pub crawl. This was an idea I had originally cooked up with Dr Kev, several months earlier. The general plan is to go to 26 pubs, in alphabetical order, and drink a drink starting with that letter.
An aftershock in the Abercrombie
A Budweiser in the Belmont
etc, etc.
Obviously, on this night we couldn't go to pubs in alphabetical order as we were heading to a particular destination, but the alphabetical element could still be in place as far as the drinks were concerned.
Our first stop after the restaurant was The Prince Of Wales.
I suggested an Absolute Vodka, and a mixer of some kind.
They didn't have Absolute.

Laura then ordered us two Apple Sourz.

I'm not proud of this.

Anyone who is familiar with The Prince Of Wales Pub in Aberdeen, will know that having one apple sourz and leaving, really is not acceptable behaviour in such an establishment.

After this we headed to The Monkey House for 2 Bombay and Tonics. The Monkey house is a great name for a bar, sadly the bar itself is average at best.
It was at this point in the evening that I discovered Laura was drinking much faster than me. I had had 2 sips of my drink. Laura had finished hers and was dancing to that Katy Perry firework song again.
I did make a video of her dancing but it didn't come out very well, so here's a video I made for a previous blog post to demonstrate her dancing skills.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

While dancing to this song she was spinning and flinging her arms everywhere, as demonstrated in the video above. She nearly killed three people.

Next we headed to Society, a bar that has been closed and re-invented about 27 times in the past few years. None of these re inventions have been particularly interesting. Several friends of mine have described it as being pretentious. Our next drink had to begin with a C, Laura was not keen on Carona. She suggested a Cranberry and Vodka. I of course dismissed this as cheating. No one says " a cranberry vodka." We settled on an Absolute Citron, with lemonade. It was very lemony.
Laura once again downed her drink before I was even half way through mine.
Clearly this girl is on a mission.

Our next stop was The Grill.
Here we decided to ask the barman to recommend something. The Grill is your classic old mans pub. It specialises in Whisky, and I'm not a whisky man. (By which I mean I don't drink whisky, I don't mean some kind of whisky superhero.) So the barman recommended a Disaronno (amaretto). Laura had no idea what this was. She said she was secretly hoping it was actually just a shot of diet coke. She saw the barman pour the shot from the Amaretto bottle, so how this could have been possible was beyond me.

The next bar on our route was the Abercrombie, and we were struggling. The letter was E, the barman had no ideas. We considered skipping a letter, but then a drunk man sitting at the bar made a suggestion.
"Have an eftershock."
Yes, you read that right, an Eftershock, it wasn't a typo. We were struggling to come up with anything else, so an Eftershock each it was.

It wasn't the best.

After Abercrombie the next pub en-route was Soul, but it was incredibly busy, and we weren't getting a good alphabet pub crawl vibe from them. So we skipped it and headed to The Howff.
Here we once again depended on the bar staff for help. They suggested a beer called Furstenberg, I had had this before so I was happy and took one of those. But Laura was having none of it. She asked the staff for any other suggestions, they had none. Laura then seemed rather proud of herself when she came up with a drink.

Laura: I know, I'll have a fresh orange and lemonade

Andy: A fresh orange and lemonade?

Laura: Yes, it begins with F.

Andy: Yeah, but you know it's a fresh orange and lemonade right?

Laura: (sounding irritated) Yeah of course.

Andy: So you're quitting the alcohol already?

Laura: Ermm, no. Wait. What did I ask for?

Andy: A fresh orange and lemonade.

Laura: Oh. I meant Vodka.

So as I drank my pint, Laura once again downed her Fresh orange and Vodka. I am aware that this drink violates the rules previously established. But by this point I was a bit drunk. Remember we'd had a bottle of wine with dinner too.
Oh and I forgot to mention. In this pub, we bumped into Popeye.
As you do.

We then headed to The Justice Mill. We once again let the bar staff decide our fate, and told them we needed a drink beginning with G. The barmaid suggest The Green Eyed Monster. I liked the name of it so I immediately said yes. Not realising it was a cocktail pitcher, and it was minging.

Chilli Sambuca?? Why would someone invent such a disgusting drink? Also, it seems that the cocktail menu in The Justice Mill is sponsored by Monster Energy drink. Maybe I should send them a letter to see if they can tempt me away from Red Bull?

In typical Andy G style, I made yet another video. This one is of our first sip of this rather odd drink, you can tell Laura is drunk, as she is just shouting abuse at me for not downing my drinks. But I don't down drinks. Not since, the incident.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

We didn't finish this, it wasn't the best. Also, by this point it was nearly 11pm. We were meant to be at the party around 9. Oops. We stumbled along the road to The Malt Mill where the birthday party was being held. It was an 80's theme costume party. Amongst the costumes I glimpsed were, Captain America, Spiderman, and a cheerleader. What makes these things unique to the 80's I do not know.
It was a great party. And most of the music (from what I can remember) was eighties. So I was loving it. 
Sadly by this point the alphabetical drinking had stopped. We got to G. Which is not bad. Hopefully when Dr Kev comes back from Australia we will do the proper alphabet pub crawl around Aberdeen. Just like we always dreamed.

At one point later on in in the evening, Laura found a pair of sunglasses on the table. She decided to try them on, and then refused to take them off.
Oh, and just so you know, that's not me in the picture with her. That's Freddy Mercury, not the real Freddy Mercury obviously. That's her friend Gordon. Just to avoid confusion.
On the taxi ride to the party, the driver asked about his costume. Gordon said he was on his way to an eighties themed costume party, to which the taxi driver replied,

"Eighties theme? Then why are you dressed like Hitler?"

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

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If you do subscribe then maybe one day I will take you on one of my famous pub crawls

1 comment:

  1. is the 'incident' you refer to the five finger spread or the time you were sick on a girl during sex??



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