Monday, 11 January 2010

101 things you probably didn't know about Andy G


Hows it goin?
To celebrate post number 101 on this blog I have compiled a list of 101 things you probably didn't know about me.
I have included some pictures and videos where appropriate so if you want to see them then stop reading this crap on facebook and click here.
101 facts about Andy G

1 : Andy G is The Stig

2: Andy G does not drink Tequila, if he does all of mexico will implode
3: Andy G is a time traveller
4: Andy G is the only person to ever spill champagne on the bridge of The QE2
5: Andy G Is president of the Darius Fan Club

6: Andy G is actually a clone, of himself!
7: Andy G knows how to commit the perfect crime. I break into Tiffany's at midnight, do I go for the vault? NO! I go for the chandelier, it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me, she tells me to stop, it's her fathers business, she's Tiffany. I say no, we make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of there uniforms, I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada, I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. 30 years later I get a post card, I have a son, and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the trocadero, she's been waiting for me for all these years, she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin, thats where I stashed the Chandelier
8: Andy G is actually black

9: Andy G is Keyser Soze

10: Andy G once split the red sea
11: Andy G once ran around the world so fast he turned back time and was able to rescue lois lane from the earthquake.
12: Andy G is part of the truly awesome band Tenacious A

13: Andy G is the thoroughbred of sin
14: Andy G can speak Japanese
15: Andy G was very bored and slightly drunk when he wrote these.
16: Andy G knows never to start a fight with a giant chicken

17: Andy G loves it when a plan comes together.
18: Andy G is dazed and confused
19: Andy G is best friends with He Man

20: Andy G is Spartacus
21: Andy G used to be Mexican

22: Andy G does not have a drinking problem, he likes it.
23: Andy G owns a ukelele and is part of a ukelele band called ukulelisation

24: Andy G wants to be on you!
25: Andy G once wrote 101 fun things to do in a lift
26: Andy G hates Kris Akabussi
27: Andy G thinks your ace! (unless you’re a twat)
28: Andy G has 753 hats, his favourite is his cowboy hat!

29: Andy G thinks that all work and no play makes Andy a dull boy
30: Andy G Drinks Blackcurrant Tango

31: Andy G Really, really wants to drive the Batmobile
32: Andy G has shaken the hand of Jimmy Saville
33: Andy G was once accused of a crime he didn’t commit, he promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground, there he survives as a soldier of fortune, if you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire, Andy G.
34: Andy G says Relax
35: Andy G is a fully trained ninja
37: Andy G has a pet Giraffe, his name is Jeremy
38: Andy G is trapped in a glass box of emotion
39: Andy G devised the perfect seating system for any restaurant he works in

40: Andy G thinks bud is fucking mingin
41: Andy G is illegal in nine countries
42: Andy G has hair that shines like orion's belt (just not alot of it)
44: Andy G Will Rock You
45: Andy G is kind of a big deal, he has many leather bound books and his apartment smells of rich mahogany
46: Andy G is easy like Sunday morning
47: Andy G loves a tiny heini
48: Andy G is currently writing the greatest book ever written
49: Andy G is walkin on sunshine
50: Andy G was born in the hell fires of mo town
51: Andy G is addicted to his iphone, if he doesn't check it every 5 minutes he comes out in a rash.
52: Andy G wants Mitch to unleash the fury

53: Andy G will huff and puff and blow your house down
54: Andy G DID put humpty dumpty back together again
55: Andy G is bringing back the Commodore 64
56: Andy G is Tiger Woods (but less ethnic)
57: Andy G invented the Cactus
58: Andy G once impregnated a girl just by looking at her
59: Andy G knows who the Dharma Inititive really is
60: Andy G has been and always shall be your friend (unless you are a cunt)
61: Andy G has absolutely no memory of this
62: Andy G thinks Murder She Wrote was the greatest thing ever to be on TV
63: Andy G once ate a big red candle
65: Andy G thinks you don't always have to fuck her hard.......
66: Andy G was once trapped in 1955 but fortunately he harnessed the power of a lightening bolt to power the flux capacitor in the delorean and he was able to get Back To The Future
67: Andy G was really fucken drunk last night
68: Andy G genuinely believes this is what happened to the QE2 Crew
70: Andy G once sent a fax to Alex Ferguson
71: Andy G is an inspiration to Steve Coogan
72: Andy G Fucking hates westlife, unlike these two
73: Andy G is The Fonz
74: Andy G has enough sexual energy to power the world for 7 years!
75: Andy G has chest hair shaped like the Yorkshire television symbol
76: Andy G has a voice that will make a wolverine purr
77: Andy G has a friend who can only pee primary one style

78: Andy G wants to date your Avatar! (if anyone gets that reference I will be amazed and will buy you a pint)

79: Andy G had marriage proposals from two different women in 2009, once in a drunken phone call, and once in a drunken voicemail

80: Andy G is a big believer in film certification
81: Andy G knows what your thinking, and the answer is yes. He has a nickname for his penis, he calls it Octagon. He also nicknamed his testes, the left one is James Westfall and the right one is Dr Kenneth Noisewater
82: Andy G makes the best Spag Bol

83: Andy G is the best around……..just like daniel son

84: Andy G is always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter, who makes stairs
85: Andy G Once said cunt in Canada

86: Andy G always follows the bro code

87: Andy G knows that the bird is the word

88: Andy G is twice the man you are
89: Andy G is an asshole

90: Andy G knows that Ryan started the fire

91: Andy G loves a little bit of Afternoon Delight
92: Andy G likes cheese

93: Andy G loves Red Bull
94: Andy G sometimes goes too casual

96: Andy G is famous in quebec
97: Andy G often wonders what a tiger dreams of

98: Andy G once walked past Danny Wallace in the street while listening to the Danny Wallace Podcast.

99: Andy G recently learned the truth about potatoes
100: Andy G is NOT gay with Adam, its just guy love
101: Andy G was once bare naked with a girl (it was nice)
102: Andy G has never ever slept with Debbie Watson, despite what Mark Cruickshank tells everyone
103: Andy G can't count
104: Andy G rarely remembers what he gets up to at peoples weddings
105: Andy G has a very bad reputation in blackpool

Thats All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

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