My Classmates Films: Bonjour Tout La Monde

Hi


How's it goin?

This weeks Classmates Film is Cat's first year film. It stars Struan, as a dude who runs about and stuff, and he likes baloons, and trees.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE


That's All For Now


Until Next Time


Have A Nice


Andy G


If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to http://www.theblogofandyg.com/ and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then I shall perform an ancient celtic ritual designed to bring good fortune to you and your family. it will require the sacrificing of three chickens, and the blood of a virgin and a 17 snickers bars.

Adventures in Stornoway

Hi 

How's it goin?

Back in March, I did a week long feature on the blog called Island Week. The films featured on Island Week were submissions for a film festival in Stornoway. Out of all the films submitted by my classmates, four of them were deemed good enough to be put forward to the festival, and the four people responsible were taken to Stornoway, all expenses paid.

Which was nice.

It was a long trip. It involved a train, a free meal at pizza express, a coach, a ferry and a coach. During which time I watched several episodes of The Big Bang Theory on my iphone, and discovered that my classmate Cat had never, ever read a newspaper before. The whole concept was baffling to her. She genuinely struggled to figure out what to do. In the end she just gave up and stared out the window for another two hours.

The train took us to Inverness and then we waited for a coach to Ullapool in order to catch a ferry to Stornoway. It was a two hour wait until the ferry, so we did what any other sensible group of people would do in this situation, we went to the pub. 

En route to the pub we discovered this sign for a chip shop. Spot the spelling mistake?

It was a long hard 3 days away, filled with drinking and films. And lots of people speaking gaelic.

The festival had lots of various award ceremonies and workshops/lectures to attend. Some of them were very interesting. It was a great we trip away. I made some videos of our trip, and one of the girls with us took about 400 photos.

Here are the videos I made on my eye phone. Sorry they are not the best quality and I couldn't be bothered to edit them in anyway. I'm pretty busy at the moment so you people are lucky to be getting this.

You're welcome!

If you can't see the videos above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE


And so it's all over. It was a fantastic three days away, almost all expenses paid. Which was nice. Cat won the green light award and rightly so. Her film was by far the best. I was just happy to get a free trip.


That's All For Now

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then you shall be punished. That is all.

Tapas Talk

Hi

How's it goin?

A few weeks ago I had a conversation with Laura which I thought I would share with you. She was having a business dinner, and it was at a Spanish Tapas Restaurant. (Sadly it wasn't Tapas Towers.) Laura had never had Tapas before, so she asked me how it worked. I explained how Tapas usually works, everything comes in small portions, and usually everyone just shares everything. I explained how the menu worked, and that it is split into three sections. Vegetarian Tapas

Seafood Tapas

and Meat Tapas.

To which she asked,

"Do they not have chicken?"

Last time I checked chicken was a meat. At least it is in Aberdeen, she is from a small village called Portlethen and maybe things are different out there in the sticks?

I also found this video made by a former staff member at Tapas Towers. It's an animation of a conversation that every staff member has had with a customer at least 200 times. For some reason the animation is set in an office, I'm not sure why. Maybe Tapas Towers are branching out?

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to http://www.theblogofandyg.com/ and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you will receive a free sample of tapas in the post.

My Classmates Films: The Jezzer Kyle Show

Hi


How's it goin? 


This was a Multi-cam assessment written and directed by Laurence Woods. It's very good. And it stars the very talented Struan as Jezzer Kyle, Scott as the step father, and KP as a very, very chavvy girl.



If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE




That's All For Now 


Until Next Time 


Have A Nice 


Andy G


If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then I will send you free tickets to the real Jeremy Kyle Show

(Girl) Friendly Friday: Laura

Hi 

How's it goin? 

Haven't done a Friendly Friday in a while, and since she hasn't asked for one lately, I think it's about time she had her turn.

Today's Friendly Friday is all about Laura. A.K.A. The Girlfriend.

Laura and I met several years ago at an Aberdeen pub based version of Pop Idol. Laura was one of the judges on the panel. I am unsure as to why as her singing is......unique. I was at the final of this event as it was being held at the bar Rushton was a manger of at the time.

Even though we have known each other for years we only started seeing each other 6 months ago. Better late than never. In those 6 months, here are the top 8 things I have learned about her. Why 8 I hear you ask? Because 10 is too many and 5 is not enough.

1: She hates Oliver Twist, calling him a "Greedy little shit!"

2: Just like me, she is a very good poet.

3: She hates Jessica Fletcher.

4: She rolls her eyes more than any other human being on the planet. (Usually at something I have just said.)

5: She really likes Goulash.

6: She drinks more tea than any other human being on the planet. 

7: She is a very unique dancer.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

8: She loves a good frape

I will always forgive her for the occasional frape, as she is by far the coolest girlfriend ever. She got me two of the greatest presents ever.

Present 1

We are going to London for a few days at the end of June. She bought me this:

I'm going to the Doctor Who Experience in London!!

How ace is that?

If you don't like Doctor Who then don't answer that last question.

I also got this a couple of weeks ago.

I was intrigued, what could this be? And where did Laura get such wonderful wrapping paper?

And then I opened the present, and sat back in awe. 

A duck in a superman costume!

How ace is that??

Everyone knows I love ducks. 

Laura and I are returning to Goulash tomorrow night. If anything interesting happens I'll be sure to let you know.

That's All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to http://www.theblogofandyg.com/ and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then one day you will get a Friendly Friday. Eventually.

Another Fun Filled Night at The Club

Hi

How's it goin? 

I've been working a lot recently, well not a lot, but more than usual. This is partly due to my incredibly dire financial situation and partly because things at Vincents and The Club have been busy. Student night is now officially finished for the summer. Which is bad as it means one less shift a week, but good as it means no more dealing with drunken asshole students. Last week I saw a guy taking a piss in the corner by the stairs, when I got the doorman to thrown him out he simply said,

"I didn't know where the toilet was." I told him he could come back in if he paid me the £100 it would cost to clean the carpet. He went off in search of a cash machine and never returned.

I also had a record number of drunken people getting taken away in ambulances. Three in one night. In the space of an hour. 

Last Saturday was not particularly busy, I was kept entertained by my classmates Cat & Maija coming in for a drink or two. They were both very, very drunk. I had let a couple of the staff finish early (including the infamous Bitchface) as it was quiet, they decided to join Cat and dance like a bunch of twats. I filmed it for you as I know you're desperate to see it. 

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

After watching these two idiots dance, I went back to work. A short while later I found a notepad behind the bar. I have no idea how long it's been there, or what it's actually for. This is what I found written in it.

I do not know who wrote all this slanderous comments about Danny and Laura S (A.K.A. Bitchface.) And I would like to state in no uncertain terms that the comments written about Danny in that notepad are completely untrue. The stuff about Bitchface I can believe.

Later that night the other manager, Gav, came by and made some drinks. Here's an instructional video on how to make a Dr Pepper.


If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now 

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then I will reveal the secret location of The Club and buy you a drink.

My Classmates Films: Stephens Induction Day

Hi


How's it goin?


Regulare readers will remember a few weeks ago I posted my Film Robins Induction Day. Induction day was an assignment at school which only about 3 of us actually made. Here is Stephen Horne's version. It is by far the best one made.




Without further delay, here is Stephens version of Induction Day. Enjoy. It's very, very good. And it has a cameo by a very talented actor. (Me)





If you can't see the video above then please stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.


I'm sure you liked that, so why not watch some of Stephens other films:

You can see Stephen's first year film HERE

And his most recent film HERE

And of course, his Island film HERE

That's All For Now


Until Next Time


Have A Nice


Andy G


If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then you will receive a discount on my next book which is due out soon.

My Classmates Films: Mr Wright

Hi

How's it goin?

Do you have 39 minutes and 19 seconds to spare? If so then why not watch this film? Written and directed by Ian Hay, this is Mr Wright.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then I will introduce you to Mr Wright. And he's not in a good mood.

A Conversation with an Ex Employee

Hi 

How's it goin?

Several weeks ago, I was working. It was another busy night at Vincents, and service was in full swing. It was busy, not jam packed, but busy. We were in the middle resetting the restaurant for the next sitting, and everyone was running about, a lot. Everyone except for one employee. This particular employee was in the kitchen helping herself to a bread roll. This irritated me for two reasons. 

1: We were busy trying to reset the restaurant and this waitress decided to not help out, and just stop and have a snack.

2: Staff are NOT allowed to help themselves to bread rolls.

If they want something to eat that's fine, but ask. Don't just help yourself! Someone people come to the restaurant straight from another job, and so have no time to eat themselves, that's fair enough. If a staff member comes to me ands asks for something then I will always try and accommodate them, but don't just help yourself. This particular rule was discussed at a staff meeting just three weeks prior to this incident. So this waitress had clearly decided to ignore the rules. I said to her, in a rather firm tone of voice,

"You're not allowed to eat bread roles."

Now, when your boss catches you doing something you are not supposed to be doing, you apologise and get on with whatever needs doing. This waitress did not respond in the correct manor.

"Andy, this is my first and last bread role today."

I then raised my voice to a slightly louder volume,

"NO! YOU DO NOT HELP YOURSELF TO BREAD ROLES! NOW GO AND DO SOME WORK PLEASE!"

I then took the bread role away from her, and threw it out.

Several minutes later I was quite busy at the till, cashing off several bills, organising change, and trying to manage the staff. This waitress then approached me and told me not to talk to her like that ever again. I explained to her, that I am her boss, and she should not talk back to me, if your boss gives you into trouble for doing something wrong, you apologise and get on with your job.

Clearly this waitress disagreed with that policy, stating that:

"This is not my first job, and it won't be my last. So i'm quitting tonight."

To which I replied,

"Fine. You can pick up your wages at the end of the week. Goodbye."

After leaving the restaurant, she then sent a text message to the owner saying that I screamed at her in front of customers, I slapped her and that I am pathetic and have serious anger management issues. She offered to work the rest of her shifts for the week but refused to work with me again.

I had already covered her shifts with other, much better staff members.

This really pissed me off, she blatantly lied about what happened, and she bothered my boss, who she knew was on a night out. Is there any need?

Once I heard about the text she sent to my boss, I sent her a text of my own.

From: Andy G

To: Former Crap Employee

Good afternoon. For your information I did not slap your hand. I simply took away the bread roll you had been instructed not to eat. When your boss gives you into trouble you do not talk back. You apologise and get on with your job. At the time we were busy with reset. If you were on food and there was no food to go out, you find the duty manager and ask what to do. This has been clearly explained to you more than once. Most recently at the staff meeting. I do not have any anger management issues. I just prefer it when the staff do a they are told. This is how society works with employment. Employees follow the instruction of management. If Vinnie had told you to stop eating the bread roll, would you have had the same answer? I suspect not. 

Regards,

Your "pathetic" former boss. 

From: Crappy Former Employee

To: Andy G

Glad you text me andy because I forgot to tell you to fuck off before I left and now that I have your number I have the chance I hoped I will. You did slap my hand don't lie to me cause I was there remember? Say this lie to Vinnie to keep your job. Vinnie is a nice man that would never act the way you did, you're just a sad person. Now go fuck yourself and don't text me back, had enough of u already.

From: Andy G

To: Former Crap Employee

How childish. Good bye and Good Luck.

Telling a lie to keep my job? I think not. And if she thinks that Vinnie (the owner) would be nicer to her than I was, then she really doesn't know him half as well as she thinks she does.

I very much look forward to the day that her new employer calls and asks for a reference, cos it sure as hell won't be the owners who'll be writing it.

That's All For Now 

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you are a much nicer person than my former employee, which wouldn't be hard. 

30 Day Challenge: Challenge Complete!

Hi

How's it goin?

So my 30 day challenge has come to an end. Every day for 30 days I posted a picture, or pictures according to a pre determined list I saw on facebook. I hope you enjoyed it.

Jonny Mountain said he is going to miss the daily blog posts. Which was nice of him. I don't think he has much else going on in his life.

During the 30 day challenge, this blog was visited 654 times by 408 unique users from 56 different countries, and even one person from Croyden!

And someone from a town called Chipping Sodbury!

What a great name!

I even had a celebrity reader. The one, the only ROLAND FOOKING RAT!!!

He sent me a tweet regarding Day 30: A picture of someone you miss.


The most viewed post throughout the month of April was not one of my challenge posts, It was The Tale Of The Bratislavan Stag Do: Naked Mud Wrestling, A Stolen Wallet, and A Drink In My Retina! It was viewed 145 times.

The good thing about the 30 day challenge for me was that I wrote it all in advance. The past 30 days have been very busy for me. I went to Stornoway for a few days, I went to Glasgow for a couple of days. I did a two week work placement which I just finished today. I'll be writing about these experiences and more in the next few weeks, which I am sure you are excited about reading. I know dear reader that you have very little else in your life other than this little blog. And that's ok. I still love you. Unless you are a knob, in which case, I don't. 

I also spent a lot of time this past April writing my next book.

The first draft is currently in the hands of my editor who is probably destroying it with the Red Pen Of Doom!

For anyone who cares, my next book is about my experiences last summer. As regular readers will be aware, last summer I went to four weddings in the space of 6 weeks. This book is a chronicling of these events. I'm hoping to have it ready to go in a few weeks. I really need the money, so when it is available, please buy it, and then tell your friends to buy it. It's tentatively titled, 

The Wedding Blogger

4 Weddings

3 Amazing Chat Up Lines 

2 Stag Do's

1 Speech About A Cake

If anyone can come up with a better title I am open to suggestions. No Four Weddings and a Funeral puns tho!

For anyone who is interested, my first book Fifty Envelopes, is now available as a download, and it's only £3. You should buy it if you haven't already. In fact even if you have bought it, you should buy it again, just in case. Sorry, like I said I really need the money. 

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe the next time I do a 30 day challenge I promise to mention you in every single post.

(WARNING: The previous sentence may have been a lie.)

My Classmates Films: Locked

Hi

How's it goin?

Every Monday for the next few Monday's, I'm gonna post one of my classmates films. 

Today it's Locked.

It's very good. 

Written and directed by Stephen Horne, the same Stephen Horne who wrote and directed The Dealer.

If you cannot see the vide above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

Next Monday I will post Mr Wright. A film written and directed by Ian Hay. Here's a trailer.

If you cannot see the vide above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

That's All For Now 

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe, then I will personally lick your face by way of thanks.