Wednesday, 23 December 2009

Dear Aberdeen Tourist office (A.K.A. Envelope 6 of 50)


Hows it goin?

Please see below the latest installment of my 50 Envelope Challenge.

Dear Aberdeen Tourist office,

Good day. How are you today? I am writing to today with a suggestion. I’m sure you are all very qualified people working in the Aberdeen tourist office. But every now and then surely it must be handy to get an outside perspective.

I would first off like to say well done on Aberdeen, its pretty decent isn’t it? I have lived in Aberdeen most of my life. I have left the city numerous times with no intention of returning, but I always do. What hold does this city have on me? Are you secretly hypnotists? Are there subliminal messages hidden in northsound one and those STV idents?

I tried to break free from this city, I really did, I have left for months at a time, most recently was my longest stint away. From May of 2008 to August of 2009 I left Aberdeen, I spent 6 months living in New York and then almost a year living in Edinburgh, it was in the middle of last year I felt an instinctual urge to return home. This may have been due to the fact I was applying for college and university courses and Aberdeen was the only place that would take me. Tell me, did you arrange this? Did you get in touch with the various institutions I applied to and bribe them not to accept me just to get me back into this fair city? It seems like the only logical explanation to me.

I have noticed several changes to Aberdeen in the time I have been away, Most notably, have the women gotten hotter? Honestly, I walked down union street the other day and there was a hot girl approximately every 4 seconds. That’s an impressive figure, as was most of the hot girls! Now I’m not saying there are no hot girls in Edinburgh or New York, but I don’t remember Aberdeen having so many. Now I admit my judgement may be slightly impaired because I’ve been single for a while, or it may be after a trip to Blackpool where there were NO hot girls in sight in the city centre. Seriously, they were all chavs and grannys, and in some cases both! I would point out that this was only during the day, in the evening the hot girls did appear, much like vampires. By that I mean they only come out at night, they don't suck blood or anything, not as far as I know anyway. Sadly when I was visiting no one was sucking anything of mine. (If you want to read more about my trip to Blackpool then feel free to read my blog,

I was told recently that 2009 was the year of the homecoming in Scotland. I am flattered that you would stage such an event just to mark my return, both to Scotland and then to Aberdeen. I have yet to receive any invites to any kind of celebrations but I am sure you just lost my address. Its understandable, your busy people.

Anyway, to the main point of this letter. I am writing to suggest a new slogan for our fair city. At the moment if you say Aberdeen, most people would say “The Granite City.” I don’t know about you but this to me conjures up images of a grey, dull city, lacking in any kind of atmosphere or ambience Obviously there is a lot of granite in the city and I’m not suggesting we turn our backs on that. All I’m thinking is lets maybe go in another direction.

How about


The Place To Be Seen

I know, its good eh?

I have taken the liberty of already putting it into practice. During my time in the states and in Edinburgh, anytime someone asked me where I was from, I always said “Aberdeen, The Place To Be Seen.” This always got a good response and if you mention Aberdeen to anyone who works in the Tapas Towers in Edinburgh they will automatically say "The Place To Be Seen." Let me ask you, do you have any statistics regarding tourists in Aberdeen from May 2008 to today? I would be willing to bet they have increased.

Now I’m not saying I’m entirely to thank for that, but I’m fairly certain a large chunk of that is down to me.

I would be happy to help out in any advertising related to the project and my fee would be more than fair.

Anyway, I will leave you on that note.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the matters I raised.

Kind Regards

Andy G

This letter was written several months ago but only posted about 10 days ago, I have yet to receive a response. I'm sure they are just busy with it being christmas.
I typed Aberdeen into you tube to see if could find anything interesting, here are my top 3.

This is my favourite

If you can't see the videos I posted above then stop reading this crap on facebook and click here.

Thats All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."
If you do subscribe then maybe one day I will send you a letter with one of my remaining envelopes.*

*I probably won't

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts with Thumbnails