Birthdays & Weddings

Hi

Hows it goin?

Its my blog's first brithday.

It was one year ago on this very day when I posted my first entry!

I imaginitively titled it First Entry.

Yeah I know, I really have a way with words

One year ago today I was optimistic about getting into the RSAMD. I was uncertain about the future, I was working like a bastard in Tapas Towers, and I'm farily certain I wasn't this fat.

Who know's where's I'll be when this blog hits its second birthday?

With any luck I'll be nearly finished my second year and final year at school and filling out an application form for that job at R.S. Mccoll.

Or maybe not, maybe I will finally crack and beat one of the customers in the restaurant to death.

Maybe Mother Tuckers will have me "taken care of."

Maybe my dedicated fans at Wowzies will make me a spokesperson and I can make enough money to retire at the ripe old age of 28.

I am cautiously optimistic about the year ahead, as I stated a few weeks ago, I will be 28 at the end of June. I have ran the numbers and 28 should be my perfect year. Click here if you don't believe me.

In the short term I have 4 weeks to finish my school work and then roll on the summer.

I have 4 weddings this summer (hopefully no funerals).

Wedding 1

Ian & Kat

June 12th

Edinburgh

Ian is getting married on an island a short ferry ride from Edinburgh. Ian is quite possibly the most organised person I have ever met in my entire life so I expect his wedding to be exceptional. Due to unexpected circumstances he even organised his own stag do.

I really think Ian's wedding is gonna set the bar pretty high. I have no role in this wedding, as I have written before about the various roles in weddings you will realise I am quite glad of this, mainly because I fully expect to be incredibly drunk for the entire weekend in Edinburgh.

That being said, the last time I saw Ian he did mention something to me about Bob and I being the flower boys.

Ians stag do kicks off tomorrow, an activities weekend in Aberfeldy, I will let you know if Ian makes it through the weekend alive. He probably will, and Ian if you're reading this, don't worry mate, I'm sure you're hair will grow back after we shave it all off, strip you down, tie you to a lampost cover you in treacle and leave you for a few hours.

Oops, have I just spoiled the surprise?

Wedding 2

Ali & Jo

July 3rd

Haddo House

Ali had his stag do last weekend and sadly I couldn't make it. I simply can't afford it at the moment. I am truly sorry I missed it. It certainly counds like it was interesting, on the first day Ali broke his leg.

Looking forward to seeing the first dance at his wedding. Ali is getting married at Haddo House, a place which until two weeks ago I thought only did pantomimes.

Wedding 3

Claire & Kenny

July 16th

Somewhere in the countryside

I have no idea where they are actually getting married, I have been told the name, but I have no dea where it actually is. Ian is meant to be loooking into somewhere for us to stay, and I will be relying on him for transport, this should be a great wedding. The last time myself and this particular gang of people had a big night out was Claire's 21st. And at the end of that night I ended up posting my superman underwear through someones letter box.

Wedding 4

Kev & Alice

July 31st

Its either aboyne or alford, I keep forgetting

And this is the wedding to finish off the summer, I have a vital role in this wedidng, I am the master of ceremonies, I have a bell to ring and everything! I think Kev's wedding could quite possibly be the best of the bunch, not just cos I have a small role in it, but because it's gonna be epic. And it think that adequalty explains it. Kev's having his stag do in mid June when we are going on a canal boat holiday. Having worked on the QE2 for a couple of years my experience will no doubt be invaluable. I'm still on the look out for some sort of hat that is appropriate for a stag do on a boat. If anyone see's anything then let me know.

Even tho at all of these weddings I am not meant to make a speech, I am thinking of making one anyway, or at least getting up on stage and having a sing song. However, being the drunken idiot that I am, I suspect it might go a little bit, like this.

Worst Wedding DJ Ever from Jerry O'Connell

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

Thats All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then I will show you photo's of what we will have done to Ian and Kev on there stag do's.

If Ian and Kev are reading this, be afraid, be very afraid.

Panic

Hi 

Hows it goin? 

It's May 25th,

Shit!

That means I have exactly one calender month until all my school work needs to be handed in.

Shit!

I'm a bit behind and as you may have gathered by the tone of this post, I am starting to freak out a little bit.

I still need to do some shooting for my movie.

I have to put together all my paper work for my movie.

I need to put together my research portfolio.

I need to edit my movie.

I need to organise the soundtrack for my movie.

I need to write 3 scripts for factual programmes I need to make next year.

Now I realise that's only 7 things listed, but those 7 things are gargantuan!

Shit shit shit

I have been neglecting the blog lately, this is mainly due to my own overwhelming sense of apathy.

Lately I just can't be arsed and I am getting more and more stressed about school and my money situation. I am broke. I have 4 weddings this summer and I have had to pull out of going to two of the stag do's due to money problems.

Well I have decided to give myself a kick up the arse. At least with my school work. So my life is gonna become a montage of me studying hard and reading books, like in an eighties movie.

I may continue to neglect the blog a wee bit till I am back on track with school.

On a lighter note I am going on a canal boat trip for Kevs Stag do, I think I should have some kind of hat.

As most people know I do love my cowboy hat, but I don't want to risk it's safety. So I am on the look out for some kind of hat. Not just any hat, it has to be a party hat, a slightly nautical hat, a hat that will shield my rapidly balding head from the sun.

Any thoughts?

Thats All For Now

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then I'll lick your face. (unless you're a minger)

Fan Mail

Hi 

Hows it goin? 

The other day I received this email.

Hey Andy G,

 

The staff at Wowzie just love your blogs!!!  Great fun.  Now, how about you come and have a free milkshake on us for being so entertaining!!

 

Pop in and say hello sometime.

 

Best wishes,

 

Louise, Mirisha, Donna, Shannon and Rhuairidh  XX

 

It seems I have attracted some new readers. I had never heard of Wowzies before. After visiting the website I discovered it is a sweet shop just off george street in Aberdeen. 

I was tempted with the offer of a free milkshake but I was somewhat suspicious.

This shop is quite close to Mother Tuckerz. 

Perhaps this was a trap. 

Maybe Mother Tuckerz and Wowzies have teamed up and formed an alliance to destroy me. Maybe they are attempting to lure me into what appears to be a fun loving sweet shop, then they drop the cage, shoot me with a tranquilizer dart and chop me up into little pieces and serve me up in a panini.

I was convinced this was what was happening.

I mentioned this to my classmates over lunch, they tried to convince me to go into the shop. I was starting to think perhaps they were in on it too.

They were keen to visit Wowzies, but I was still hesitant. I sent them in as a re con team while I went and hid in a safe location.

Apparently it's all safe.

I am told the owner of Wowzies has some sort of feud with the owner of Mother Tuckerz and she did a google search for Mother Tuckerz Aberdeen to see if anyone had ever written a review about them.

And did you know that if you google Mother Tuckerz Aberdeen, the top two sites are links to this blog.

Well you do now.

So I now have a new army of fans at Wowzies. You should all go check it out, my classmates were very impressed.

Thats All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then one day I will come round to your home and do the dance of joy, just as the ancient druids used to do when someone subscribed to their blogs.

A comment from a teuchter

Hi 

Hows it goin? 

Last night I received an email stating I had a new comment on my blog.

Some of my international readers may struggle with this one.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Dear Mother Tuckers (A.K.A. envelope 16 of 50)": 

Noo noo loons n quines, jist mine its Mutha Tukka nae Mither Therisa, ken fit a mean. If yer gan tae dis a Mutha Tukka yer boont tae get some rappin cummin back at ye.

Im nae a cusomer or ean oh her quines jist a concerned teuchter.

Blog on boy 

Thanks for the comment. I will continue to blog on!

Thats All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then I will slap you in the face with a wet fish

Friendly Friday: Ian

Hi 

Hows it goin? 

Today i'm gonna talk about Ian. Ian is awesome. And he is the star of one of my favourite ever photographs.

Ian and I met when I first joined the QE2. He left shortly after I joined but we shared many many drunken adventures together. Ian is also the man who got me the job in New York. He had the same job 2 years previously. I only wish he gave me some better warnings regarding what I was letting myself in for.

Ian is quite possibly one of the most organised people on the planet. Which is brilliant when it comes to our trips away. When we went to Dublin he had everything planned down to the minute. However when we started on the guinness that plan kind of went out the window,

As I wrote on a previous blog post Ian is also quite possibly the greatest dancer in the world.

He was good enough to put me up in the transition period from moving to Edinburgh back to Aberdeen. I stayed with him for a couple of weeks, altho myself and his other flat mate did not get on at first.

Ian now lives the easy life as a teacher in a catering college in Edinburgh. He gets paid a ridiculous amount of money and has far too much time off.

Ian is getting married in a few weeks. It will be the first of 4 weddings I have this summer and I think this one will def set the bar pretty high.

I'm also going on his stag do in a couple of weeks. I'll be sure to write about that afterwards. Assuming he survives.

A Poem For Ian

My friend Ian works as a teacher,

I hope he likes his friendly friday feature.

We first met on the QE2,

In a couple of weeks we'll be on his stag do.

I hope he makes it back alive,

if not I'll take his job, I'd love a 9-5.

For his honeymoon he's going on a cruise,

at his wedding I'll drink lots of booze.

I'll drink and I'll dance and I'll have a good time, 

I'm very sorry for the quality of this rhyme.

Here's a video from one of Ian's favourite films.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE.

Thats All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do not subscribe then your head will explode

Good times!

I am currently in tapas towers with some class mates and I just had
the following conversation.

Katie: Andy, can you pass the sangria?

Andy: No.

Katie: please?

Andy: No.

Katie: I'll have sex with you.

Andy: Here you go.

Good times.

Black 29

Hi 

Hows it goin? 

I have talked a couple of times about Black 29. Anytime I go to the casino I always bet Black 29.

Black 29 is the future. It has more magical power than Paul Daniels after he's been watching Harry Potter on crack.

Black 29 was discovered by my friends Luke the magic man and Richard P. They were drunk in the casino and Luke was trying to explain the pointlessness of gambling and how Richard might as well just give him his money.

Richard was a bit drunk and determined to prove him wrong. So he put a £5 chip down on a random number.

That number was Black 29.

And it came in!

Black 29 has also won me money on several occasions. However it cannot be abused. You cannot simply go into a casino and bet black 29 every time and expect to win. But sometimes, when the planets align. You will just know it. Search your mind and you will know. You will feel it in your bones. You will know when the time is right to bet black 29!

As I have said Black 29 has quite often won me money, but occasionally I do like to share my good fortune with others.

A couple of years ago myself and a few friends were at the casino. I was at the bar and my mate Dr Kev came up to me with a frown upon his face. He had lost all his money and asked me to buy him a drink.

I felt sorry for my friend. I gave him a chip to gamble (I can't remember how much it was, I was pretty drunk) And told him to put that on black 29 and we would split the winnings. Kev looked at me with a rather large amount of doubt on his face. 

He was desperate. So he took his chip and wandered off to the tables while I stayed at the bar drinking myself into oblivion.

A couple of minutes later Kev returned with a handful of casino chips and a grin on his face.

Black 29 came in!

This is a true story. Ask Kev if you don't believe me.

Black 29, it's the future.

That's All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then maybe one day black 29 will come up for you

The First of May!

Hi

Hows it goin?

Challenge over!

I Blogged every fucking day for the whole fucking month! 

Sorry some of it was shit!

This month has been the most visited this blog ever has been with over 700 visits from 393 unique ip address's from 25 countries!

And one person on The Isle of Man.

Thats not including people who read the blog through other means, either by subscribing or via another website or through facebook.

79 of those visits to the Blog came from search engines.

15 of those visits were the result of someone searching for Mother Tuckerz Aberdeen.

22 of those visits were the result of someone searching for The Blog Of Andy G.

One visit came from someone in Amsterdam searching for my mate Mark

and one visit came from Washington searching for my email address.

Maybe President Obama is trying to get in touch?

The most read post was the stuff about Alex O'Loughlin and the least read post was the scientific proof that I am perfect. It seems some people have difficulty accepting the truth.

I received a lot of visitors via the various Alex O'Loughlin fan sites, and a few from The Scottish Roundup. A website that does a weekly article on scottish bloggers. So that was nice.

So anyway, it's the first of May. Spring is officially here. So here's the song which I feel best sums up spring! Enjoy!

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE!

Thats All For Now 

Until Next Time 

Have A Nice 

Andy G 

If you want to get all the crap I write delivered straight to your inbox then go to www.TheBlogOfAndyG.com and put your email address in the wee box that says "subscribe."

If you do subscribe then you will find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Honest.