Sunday, 4 April 2010

Dear New Owners of The QE2 (A.K.A envelope 18 of 50)

Hows it goin?
Here's the latest letter in my 50 envelope challenge. This letter was posted in January and I have yet to receive a response.

Dear Sir/Madam

I understand you have recently come into possession of the former Cruise Ship, QE2. Congratulations. I hope you got a good deal. I am a former crew member and I am writing to you with a suggestion which will no doubt make you a lot of money.

I am unsure of your plans for the ship. A friend told me it is being turned into a floating hotel. This sounds like a great idea, I would suggest go ahead with this, but why not preserve some aspects of the ship. You can take guests on a tour and see what life was like when it was a fully functioning cruise ship. Keep the engine room, kitchens, and crew cabins. I would suggest in particular my old cabin (542, on five deck aft)

I am sure you have heard of the infamous double act Adam & Andy from the QE2. Well I am THAT Andy. I would be more than happy to provide you with photo’s of our cabin so it could be precisely recreated. I even have a cardboard cut out of myself and Adam which I would be happy to sell to you for a modest fee.

Our cabin was one of the superior crew cabins on board. We spent many an hour in that cabin drinking, and entertaining our fellow crew members, and even the occasional lady. 

I think your future guests would get a real kick out of seeing the REAL story of how the crew survived working on what was essentially a floating old folks home.

Our cabin was one of the few which was ALWAYS stocked with beer, we also had a very impressive DVD collection. We were also lucky enough to have a porthole! It was a handy place to keep our box of breath mints to get rid of the post breakfast beer breath. We also kept the box of condoms on that shelf, (we called it the condomint shelf. Get it? Condom + mint= condemint) these were used when one of us was lucky enough to get a lady drunk enough to come to our cabin. 

Think of the possibilities. 

Every guest who goes on the tour could be given a free beer, a free breath mint, and a free condom. This would be a great little treat on the tour and you would be seen as a responsible hotel by supporting safe sex.

I look forward to receiving a response.

Kind Regards

Andy G
Former Crew Member

P.S. If the cabin door is locked don’t worry I still have the key.

Here's a video that shows what life on The QE2 was really like.

If you can't see the video above the stop reading this crap on Facebook and CLICK HERE.

Thats All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

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